His eyes heated up and whatever tension had been left from our awkwardness earlier floated away. “Call or text me. I, at least, want to hear that you remembered to buy milk.”
My heart jumped in my chest. “Miss me that much?”
“Miss you more than that much.”
My lips parted in surprise, but as usual he left me to stare after him. He readjusted his scarf to cover his mouth and walked back to his shovel.
I hurried inside, suddenly aware of how cold I was. I carried my cooled coffee back to the kitchen and rinsed it out in the sink. I had just started a new cup when I felt my parents’ presence fill up the space behind me.
“He’s your neighbor?” My mother’s voice sounded incredibly suspicious.
I turned around to face the inquiry. What were they thinking about me? I immediately imagined the worst.
What kind of woman made friends with other men nine months after her husband died? What kind of woman flirted with another man nine months after her husband died?
I winced internally. Not a good woman. I knew that much.
“Yes, my neighbor. He moved in a few months ago. He’s been… honestly, he’s been great. The kids love him. He’s helped out so much. I just… he’s just a really nice guy.”
“He seems like a nice guy,” my mom admitted softly. “He also seems very interested in you.”
My dad looked between the two of us, carefully gaging our tension. His heavy arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me into the sanctuary of his embrace. This was the safest place I knew of now that Grady was dead and I couldn’t help but feel small and childish wrapped in my daddy’s arms. But it was a good feeling. “He’d be crazy not to be interested in you.”
I smiled through blurry tears. “We’re just friends.” I had repeated that simple line so many times that it had started to chafe my throat whenever I forced the words out.
My mom reached out to squeeze my arm. Her voice never rose above a whisper, “It’s okay to move on, Lizzy.”
“No, it’s not,” I hiccupped on a broken sob.
“It is,” my dad rumbled against my temple. “Grady never would have wanted you to be alone for the rest of your life. You have too much on your plate. I’m not saying that this is the man to move on with. I just want you to open up to the possibility. You don’t have to do this alone. We all understand.”
I loved my father, but I hated his words. Didn’t he know how much I loved Grady? I’d said vows that would last forever. I promised to love one man for the rest of my life.
And those were not empty vows. I meant them the day I got married and I still meant them today. Nobody could compete with the man that Grady was.
I didn’t even want to try to find a man as good as the only man I’d ever loved.
Ben was a great guy and I enjoyed spending time with him. I could admit, even if I didn’t want to, that I even enjoyed flirting with him occasionally. But I had never thought about him seriously like that.
We were neighbors. We were also friends. But there were no other feelings between us.
“It’s too soon,” I cried to my parents. “It’s way too soon to even think about that. I can’t… I couldn’t… I could never do that to Grady.”
“Oh, Sweetheart.” My mother’s arms wrapped around my back and I felt her hot tears fall on my shoulder. “Grady is gone, Lizzy. He’s gone forever. You’re not doing anything to him. He would never begrudge you for falling for someone else. You have got to give yourself some forgiveness. Don’t tie yourself up in his memory for the rest of your life and miss what else could be out there.”
“Are you telling me to find someone?” The disbelief in my voice echoed through the room.
“No,” my dad huffed quickly. “We are not telling you to go out right now and start looking. But we want you to be happy again, baby girl. We want you to find happiness somehow. And we want these children to find happiness again. Don’t shut yourself out to the possibilities, even if they go against your grief.”
I cried harder into his chest for long moments. The kids ran crazy around the house, but the three of us couldn’t bring ourselves to separate.
I was a thirty-two-year-old woman, with a family of my own, but there was no place I felt more comfort and acceptance than in my parents’ arms. Even now.
Emma burst into the kitchen on a gust of outdoor air. “Hey!” she called, completely oblivious to our moment. “I saw Ben outside shoveling. He’s freezing. Liz, you need to take him some coffee or something…” her voice trailed off and then changed completely when she asked, “What did I miss?”
“They met Ben,” I sniffed.
“Oh, so you saw how in love with her he is and how hard she’s trying to deny her feelings for him.”
“Emma! None of that is true!”
“Emma!” my mom gasped.
She started ripping off her outdoor gear. Her hat landed with a slap on the island, then her scarf and gloves. Her coat followed in a messy heap of winter wear.
“What? Did you meet him? He’s so obvious!”
Sometimes it was very hard to imagine my sister as the future counselor she aspired to be. Sometimes it was hard to imagine her as anything but the bratty six-year-old she acted like.
“He isn’t in love with me. Stop.”
Emma rolled her big eyes. “He’s one of my closest friends, Liz. I think I would know.”
“No, he’s one of my closest friends, I think I would know.”
Emma snorted. “Don’t tell him that. I doubt he’d appreciate the fact that he’s been friend-zoned.”
Ben’s earlier irritation echoed in my head. I shook away the memory immediately. It didn’t matter what my sister thought or suspected, I had told my parents the truth. It was way too soon to even consider the possibility of moving beyond Grady. I couldn’t stomach the idea of being with another man outside the boundaries of friendship. And I trusted Ben enough to believe he would never try to make me.
“We’re just friends, Emma. I need you to understand this.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but Blake and Abby ran into the kitchen with a flurry of motion and panic.