-Flynn-
Many years ago…
Tomorrow is my sixteenth birthday. Mom said she’d make me my special cake. It was vanilla cake with chocolate icing. I told her I wanted to have Ellie over for cake and ice cream. Mom had frowned and told me no.
I had gotten angry. I threw my glass and it cut Mom’s arm. I felt bad then. I saw the blood and I started to cry. It was gross. It made me feel sick.
Mom told me not to worry about it. She said she’d clean it up and be good as new. She told me I had to stop throwing things when I got mad. That I should talk instead of being violent.
I told her I’d try.
She told me Ellie could come over and that made me happy.
I tried to talk to Ellie when I got to school but she was with Dania and Stu and those other kids she talks to.
“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” I told her. Dania started laughing. It made me mad.
“It’s the ‘tard’s birthday, Stu!” Dania said, her voice sounding like a cow I heard crying when it was dying in our neighbor’s field.
I put my hands over my ears so I could block out her voice. “Shut up!” I yelled. They kept laughing.
Ellie didn’t stop them. She laughed with them. That made my stomach hurt.
“Stop laughing!” I yelled even louder. If I were loud enough, maybe they’d hear me and they’d stop.
“’Tard boy’s having a birthday! Are we invited to the party? Will there be balloons? What about a clown?” Stu laughed and laughed and I was getting madder.
I hit the locker and ran down the hall. I hated all of them. Even Ellie.
Ellie turned around in her seat at the end of English class. I didn’t want to talk to her. She had been mean to me. She was mean to me all the time now. She used to be my friend. Sometimes she still was. When she came to my house she was nice. She’d smile a lot and I liked that.
But I didn’t like her at school.
I didn’t like her with her other friends.
“I’m sorry about earlier, Flynn. You just can’t talk to me in front of everyone else. We’ve talked about that,” she said so quietly I could barely hear her.
“Why are you talking like that? I can’t hear you,” I said loudly to show her how I wanted her to talk.
“Shh! Stop it!” she said and she was frowning. I knew she was getting mad at me again.
I didn’t want to look at her. She was making me sad. I didn’t want to feel sad. Mom said if she made me sad she wasn’t really my friend.
I wanted Ellie to be my friend.
But I was sad all the time now.
“I got you a birthday gift. I’ll give it to you after school tomorrow, okay,” she said, talking quietly again.
I didn’t look at her. Even if she was going to give me a present.
“Maybe I could come to your house too. We could hang out. Watch the A-Team. I’ll even watch that stupid cartoon you like,” she said and I smiled because I liked watching television with Ellie. She would do funny voices and make me laugh.
“It’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” I said. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was my favorite but Ellie never wanted to watch it. She said it sucked.
I was excited that she wanted to watch it with me.
“Yeah, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.” Ellie made a noise with her nose that made me smile.
“Am I forgiven?” she asked.
I nodded. I didn’t like to be mad at Ellie. I liked it when she was nice. And when she was nice I was happy.
Ellie put her hand on my arm and I liked that too.
“We’ll spend your special day together. I promise,” she said.
I believed her.
I was so excited about my birthday that I couldn’t sleep. The sheets were bothering me again. Mom had forgotten to smooth them before bed and I hated the way they felt on my arms and legs.
I had yelled and yelled for Mom until she finally came in and changed them. I didn’t throw them out the window. Mom said she was proud of me.
I went to school on my birthday wearing my favorite shirt. It was blue and the sleeves covered the backs of my hands. It felt soft when I rubbed it.
I saw Ellie as soon as I walked into the school. I didn’t talk to her. I knew she didn’t want me to. But she smiled at me and I felt happy.
She promised she’d spend my special day with me and I believed her.
Ellie was nice to me in English class and I made her laugh by telling her a funny joke. It felt good.
At the end of the day I checked my watch and started walking home. Ellie said she’d meet me by the bridge. I’d see her in twelve minutes. Seven hundred and twenty seconds.
I could see her standing by the bridge. She looked pretty. Her hair wasn’t colored. It was yellow. I liked it yellow.
“Ellie!” I yelled, waving at her. She didn’t wave back. Her face looked funny.
“There’s our favorite ‘tard!”
Someone grabbed me and held me down. I kicked out my legs, trying to make them let me go but they just held me tighter.
I screamed as they put something on my head. I heard Dania laugh.
“Look at the cute little freak with his cute little birthday hat,” she said and I started to yell at them to leave me alone.
I tried to hit Stu but he moved out of the way.
I kicked gravel at his shoes. I threw my book bag on the ground. I looked at Ellie but she was laughing too.
She said she’d spend my special day with me! She said we’d watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force! She was supposed to eat Mom’s cake!
I started to cry. My insides hurt so much I felt sick.
I tried to run away from them but Stu and Dania grabbed me before I could.
“The birthday boy can’t go without having his cake,” Dania said.
I looked at Ellie. She was still laughing.
Stu put something in my mouth. It tasted horrible. I tried to spit it out. It was stuck in my teeth.
“A shit sandwich for a shitty little ‘tard boy,” Stu yelled in my ear as I wiped my tongue with my hand, trying to get the taste out of my mouth.
I started to gag and then I threw up.
I threw up all over my shoes and on my pants.
“That’s f*cking nasty!” Dania said, backing up.
I kept throwing up. I felt so bad.
I was still crying. Why were they always so mean to me?
It was my birthday!
It was my special day!
“You lied!” I screamed at Ellie who had stopped laughing.
Dania and Stu were gone. I don’t know where they went.
Ellie’s face was wet.
“Flynn. I’m sorry,” she said.
“Mom was right! You aren’t my friend. You’re a bitch!”
Ellie’s face looked sad. I didn’t understand. I was sad. Not Ellie. She was mean.
I wiped my mouth and picked up my book bag. I ran away from her.
I hurt so badly I couldn’t breathe.
“I hate you!” I yelled back at her.
“I know,” she heard her say.