-Flynn-
Many years ago…
I hated the snow.
I hated the way it made my hair wet and fell into the collar of my shirt.
My mom had given me a scarf but I wouldn’t wear it. It felt too tight on my neck. It made me itch.
I walked home from school. I liked walking home. I looked at my watch and started to count. Five minutes until I came to the fork in the road. Three hundred seconds.
I didn’t need the paper Mom had made for me anymore. I remembered the minutes and seconds without it. That made me happy.
“Hey Freaky!” I knew that voice. It was the mean girl, Dania. I walked faster. Snow slushed into my sneakers. My toes were cold. Too cold. I needed to take off my shoes and socks.
“Slow down! Where you goin’?” That was also a voice I knew. It was the mean boy Stu. He was worse than Dania. He would hit me in gym class. He locked me in a bathroom stall last week and I missed my classes.
I cried and yelled but no one came to get me.
No one found me until after school let out. My mom was mad. She went and spoke to the principal. The principal said he’d do something.
Stu was still mean to me.
Now he was worse.
I was scared. I didn’t want them to walk with me.
“Freaky Flyyynn,” another voice sing-songed and I stopped. Because that was the voice of my friend. Ellie. She liked me. She came to my house almost every day and we played with Marty and ate Mom’s banana bread.
Mom told me she wasn’t a good friend. That if she was mean to me at school then she didn’t really like me. I got angry when Mom said that and broke the mirror in my bedroom. Mom started to cry and then I felt sad. I hated it when my mom cried.
I turned around and was happy to see Ellie. She was smiling too but it looked weird. I didn’t like that smile.
“Hi, Ellie,” I said. I pulled my gloves off and dropped them in the snow. I started rubbing my hands. Running my fingers along my skin. I didn’t like the cold. Up and down. Over and over again.
“You didn’t answer my question, Freaky. Where ya headed?” Stu asked. He wasn’t wearing a coat. Wasn’t he cold?
“Home,” I told him.
“Home? Well why don’t we walk with you to make sure you get there safely. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to our good buddy Freaky on the way,” Dania said.
That was nice of them. Maybe they wanted to be my friends now. Maybe they’d want to hang out like Ellie did. Maybe then she would talk to me in school and they’d let me eat my lunch.
That made me happy so I nodded.
“You can come to my house,” I said.
Ellie was frowning. She looked mad.
“Let’s go, guys. We’re supposed to meet Shane and Reggie at the diner,” Ellie said. Why didn’t she want to come to my house with Dania and Stu?
“No, Ells, we’re going with Freaky. We have to escort him home. It’s our civic duty, ya know,” Dania smiled at me again and I smiled back.
She was being nice. I liked it when she was nice.
She put her arm around me and I shoved her back.
“Whoa, what was that for?” she asked me and I knew I had done something wrong. She wasn’t smiling anymore. She didn’t look like she wanted to be my friend.
“He doesn’t like to be touched, Dania. Everybody knows that,” Ellie said. I shook my head. That wasn’t true. I liked it when she touched me. Sometimes Ellie would hold my hand and that felt nice.
Ellie was frowning again and that made my stomach hurt.
Dania said something to Stu and then they were smiling again. “Come on, Freaky. Let’s go to your house. I won’t touch you. I promise,” Dania said.
“My name isn’t Freaky. It’s Flynn,” I said as we started walking again.
“Freaky Flynn. Yeah, I know,” Stu said. He was walking beside me.
“No. Not Freaky Flynn. Just Flynn!” I told him. I hated that name. It made me mad when people called me that. I never wanted to hear it again.
Stu patted my arm and I pulled away. He laughed. He was laughing at me. I wanted to hit him.
“Stop laughing at him, Stu. Be nice,” Dania said, hitting his arm. I liked Dania. She was nice.
My feet were really cold. I needed to take my socks off. My toes hurt. I couldn’t walk while my toes hurt.
“Why did you stop?” Dania asked.
“My socks are wet. I need to take them off,” I told her.
“Let’s walk up to the bridge and you can take them off there. I’ll help you,” Dania said and I was smiling again. She would help me. She was my friend now.
I looked at my watch. “We will be at the red barn in four minutes. That’s two hundred and forty seconds,” I told them, proud of myself for not needing the paper Mom had made for me. I could tell them without looking at it.
“Two hundred and forty seconds, huh? Well that’s good to know,” Dania said.
“Guys, seriously. We should be heading to the diner,” Ellie said from behind me.
“I want them to come to my house, Ellie. Just like you do,” I said and she looked mad again. Dania started laughing. I laughed too because she was my friend.
“Oh really? Like Ellie? She comes to your house?” she asked me.
I started to nod but Ellie shoved me from behind and I stumbled forward.
“Shut up, Freaky! You don’t know what the f*ck you’re talking about!” she yelled and it hurt my ears. Ellie hurt me and I wanted to cry. Why was she being so mean?
“Stop being so nasty, Ells. You’re upsetting Flynn,” Dania said and she gave Ellie a mean look. Why was Ellie hurting me?
“You’re a bitch,” I said to Ellie then Stu and Dania started laughing again. I never said bad words. I didn’t like them. But I knew what a bitch was and Ellie was being one.
Ellie’s mouth was twisting in a strange way and I pointed at it.
“You’re doing that thing with your mouth again. Why are you doing that?”
Dania and Stu were still laughing.
“Am I being funny?” I asked them.
Stu hit my back and I moved away from him. He held his hands up. “You’re the funniest dude I’ve ever met, Freaky.” He covered his mouth with his hand. “I mean, Flynn,”
Stu wasn’t being so scary right now. Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me anymore. That made me feel really happy.
When we passed the barn I told them we had five minutes until we got to the bridge and then I could take my socks off. My toes were even colder. I hated the wet snow in my shoes.
Dania and Stu were talking to me. It felt good. Ellie wasn’t talking to me and that didn’t feel good. Why wasn’t she talking to me? She always talked to me while we walked to my house.
She usually smiled a lot and she was pretty when she laughed. Then she’d hold my hand for a while and that made my body feel weird in a good way.
She wasn’t smiling now.
“There’s the bridge,” I said, pointing to it. I was happy to see the bridge. I wanted to take my socks off. Dania said she’d help me. She was my friend.
I bent over and started to untie my laces when someone shoved me. I fell over. It hurt. I was on the ground and it was cold. I hadn’t taken my socks off yet.
I tried to stand up but Stu pushed me over again and this time I slid down the hill. Dania was laughing but it wasn’t a nice sound like Ellie’s. “Get him in the water!” she yelled and then Stu pushed me into the stream.
I yelled. The water was in my shoes. My pants were wet. It was really cold!
I tried to stand up but my foot caught on a rock and I fell down again. I started to cry. Dania and Stu were laughing.
“Let’s get out of here!” Dania said and then they were gone.
I was wet. I hated being wet.
I sat there.
I was sad.
They weren’t my friends.
They were mean.
They hurt me.
I was really cold. My fingers and toes were starting to ache.
My pants and shoes were wet.
I needed to take them off.
I sat there.
“Come on Flynn, let’s get you home.” Ellie had come back and she was pulling on my arm.
My teeth were chattering and I couldn’t talk. I hurt badly. I was wet. I wanted to get out of my clothes.
Ellie put her arm around me and it didn’t bother me when she did it. I liked when she touched me.
But she had hurt me before. She had been mean. Now she was being nice.
She was my friend again.
“Stu pushed me into the water,” I said, my teeth banging together.
“Yeah, he did. He’s a dick,” Ellie said and I tried to nod. But I couldn’t.
I was wet.
I was cold.
Ellie got me home. My mom was upset when she saw me. She yelled at Ellie to leave. But I wanted Ellie to stay. She helped me.
“No!” I yelled at my mom. Ellie was taking off my shoes and socks and wrapping them in a towel. She was touching me..
“I want Ellie to stay!” I screamed. Ellie needed to stay! I wanted her there!
My mom said okay but made Ellie leave while she got me changed.
And then Ellie sat with me on the couch and we watched the A-Team. That was Ellie’s favorite show. I liked watching it with her. My toes and fingers were still cold. Mom said I could have gotten frostbite.
“I’m so sorry, Flynn,” Ellie said.
“You’re my friend, Ellie. You helped me,” I told her, not understanding why she was sorry. She had been mean but she had helped me. That was nice.
“I shouldn’t have let Stu do that to you,” she said.
“He’s mean. I don’t like him. I don’t like Dania either. They aren’t my friends,” I told her.
Ellie moved closer to me and took my hand. She always put her fingers between mine and it felt good. I liked it when she did that.
“No they aren’t. I don’t think they’re really mine either. You’re my only real friend, Flynn,” she said and then she put her head on my shoulder. And I liked that too.
I was her only friend. That made me smile.
I was happy.