O kay, well, I’m fucking done with my book!!! YEAH!!!
Before we part, though, I want to say one more thing about our current romantic conundrums. These days there are a lot of people out there saying that social media and all our new communications technologies are making it impossible for people to really connect with one another. There are an equal number of people saying that our new media makes things better than ever. By now I hope it’s clear that I don’t buy either of these extreme arguments.
Culture and technology have always shaken romance. When the plow came in and made women’s labor value in the family unit drop, it was disruptive. When the car provided a means for people to travel and see people who lived farther away, that was disruptive too. Same with telegraphs, telephones, televisions, and whatever future inventions may come. Who knows, maybe some woman is reading this in the future and wondering, Ummm. . . well at least dudes weren’t teleporting dicks to your house on a regular basis! This sounds great.
History shows that we’ve continually adapted to these changes. No matter the obstacle, we keep finding love and romance.
Now that I’ve finished this project, I have a much richer understanding of the new romantic landscape. And the main thing I’ve learned from all this research is that we’re all in it together. I hope you feel this way too.
I wish you, and all the readers, the best of luck in modern romance.
And by best of luck, I mean I hope that one day you’ll meet someone amazing, text them a thoughtful message, take them to a monster truck rally, and then hopefully at some point, after a bowl of delicious ramen, make love to them in a Jurassic Park–themed love hotel in Tokyo.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is technically “by Aziz Ansari,” but I cannot overstate what a group effort it has been on many levels.
To begin, I must thank Mr. Eric Klinenberg. If you are a renowned sociologist and best-selling author, teaming up with a comedian to write a sociology/humor book about modern romance is not necessarily a safe or logical bet. But Eric has believed in the project and me since day one. Over the past two years, we spent an insane amount of time working together, trying to conceive and execute this project. Working so closely and intensely with someone can be a grind sometimes, but with Eric it was always fun and interesting. It also helped that when it came to food, Eric was a maximizer as well, never questioning our extended lunch breaks or grueling research to find the best place to eat at that moment. Eric, a million thanks, sir.
Besides Eric, the other key to pulling off this book was our many interviews, which gave us real-world experiences to draw and learn from. The book would simply not have been possible without the hundreds of people all over the world who participated in these interviews and so graciously shared the most intimate parts of their lives. This also goes for everyone who took part in our online subreddit forum. I can’t thank all of you folks enough.
We did a huge amount of research for this book, and we couldn’t have done it without the help of our great collaborators and assistants.
Matthew Wolfe, aka the Wolfe Man, has been a superstar research assistant and then some. Everything we threw at Wolfe was taken care of, no matter how weird. Whether it was tracking down classified personals from hundreds of years ago or finding someone to Photoshop pictures of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, he was on top of it. What’s more, he did it all with the utmost professionalism and good cheer, which made working on the book a lot more fun and easy than it might have been. Wolfe Man, you killed it, and we thank you.
Shelly Ronen offered crucial assistance in the early stages of the project, helping us run focus groups in New York City and doing her own interviews as well as fieldwork in Buenos Aires. Kumiko Endo gave us great support in Tokyo, recruiting people for focus groups and tutoring us on the city’s strange and fascinating romantic culture. Sonia Zmihi organized our focus groups in Paris. Gracias, arigato, merci.
Robb Willer, a sociologist at Stanford University and a fellow native South Carolinian, consulted with us throughout the research process, helping us analyze sophisticated data sets and appreciate the value of monster truck rallies in dating.