Don’t believe the lies.
~ Romeo’s Quest
What kind of a*shole broke up with a person after leading them on? I needed a cold shower to calm me down, because my blood hadn’t stopped boiling all day. I walked toward the bathroom to wash up and paused when I heard Henry’s voice inside.
“I know… No, she doesn’t know. Kim, it doesn’t matter! She’s staying here.”
A lump formed in my throat.
Kim.
As in, my mom Kim?
“Okay. Okay. Goodbye.” His voice faded away and the doorknob turned open. When he saw me, he stepped back. “Ashlyn. What are you doing?”
“Since when do you use the bathroom upstairs, Henry?”
He walked past me and shrugged. “Rebecca was in the one downstairs.”
“Oh.” I searched him for any kind of emotion in his body language. Nothing. “Then why were you talking to Mom?”
He rotated back toward me. There was a sudden twitch in his mouth and his eyes darted back and forth. “University of Southern California is interested in you attending. Mr. Daniels is going to help by writing you a recommendation.”
“Don’t change the subject! And I don’t want his help!” I yapped like a child. I felt it, too. My angst, young instincts hammering my emotions.
Henry must have been thrown off by my response. His face showed bewilderment. “Calm down, Ashlyn.”
I couldn’t. It was as if the world were trying to push me to the edge, and I wanted to jump. How could Mom call Henry but not me? Not one text message my way? “I won’t calm down! I’m tired of everyone trying to help me when I don’t ask for help. You all don’t know what’s best for me. I didn’t want to move here. I didn’t want to go to your stupid high school. I didn’t want anything to do with you. Why can’t anyone just talk to me? I’m nineteen years old, not five! I’m a freaking adult! You’re ruining my life!” I rushed away with tears and slammed my bedroom door.
Hailey was sitting on her bed with Kleenex next to her. She’d been sick for the past few days, and her nose was redder than ever. “Ashlyn, what’s wrong?”
Before I could respond, the bedroom door opened and Henry stepped inside. “Hailey, Ashlyn and I need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you!” I screamed, feeling the burning tears running down my face. I crashed onto my bed and cried against my pillows. “I don’t see why you all won’t just tell me the truth! Someone just let me in!”
“She’s in rehab, Ashlyn.”
His words sounded as if they had been dosed in heavy guilt. I looked up, my eyes red, confused. Hailey picked up her box of Kleenex with widened eyes.
“Oh? What’s that, Ryan?! You need me? I’ll be right there.” She awkwardly made her way around Henry and disappeared.
“What?” I muttered. My stomach was in knots. I held on to the pillow so tight I was almost certain the stuffing was going to fall out from pressure overload. I blinked rapidly, trying to control my thoughts. “What do you mean she’s in rehab?”
Henry’s feet sank into the carpeted floor with each step he took closer to me. “She started drinking a lot more after we found out Gabby was sick.”
“She had it under control,” I whispered.
His head shook. “No. She didn’t. At the funeral, she told me she was checking herself into a three-month program. She gets out around Christmas. Ashlyn, your coming here had nothing to do with your mom not wanting you. It was Kim’s idea because she wanted to be able to be the parent you deserved.”
A tinge of anger ran through me. “So sending me off to a person who doesn’t even care about my whereabouts was her choice?! I could have stayed with Jeremy! He’s more of a father to me than you ever have been!” I tasted it—the brutal flavor of my words. I hated myself for screaming them at Henry, but he was the only one there. And it had always been so easy to blame him for all of my letdowns in life.
Henry cleared his throat and swallowed hard. “It’s funny. You begged for people to talk to you, to let you in because you are an adult. Then when you are let in to the reality of adulthood, you instantly turn into that five-year-old girl you denied being.”
I knew he was right, but I hated the idea of him being right. I was that five-year-old hurt girl. Every thought flying through my mind was based on the idea of hurting Henry. Because he had hurt me by being right. I didn’t want him to be right! I wanted him to be the deadbeat father who’d walked out!
“At least I’m not a cheater!”
His eyes glassed over and he stumbled back, stunned. “You’re grounded.” His words didn’t make sense to me. Could he ground me? Did he reserve that right?
“I’m going out tonight.” I crossed my arms across my chest, sitting up straight.
“No. You’re not. As long as you live here, you follow my rules. I’m sick of it, Ashlyn!” His voice rose, sending chills through me. “I’m sick of the attitude. I’m sick of the blame. I’m sick of feeling like I can’t ask where you’re going because you might get pissed. I’m sick of it all. Yes, I wasn’t there when you were younger. I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I f*cked up. But right now? Right now, you don’t get to talk to me any damn way you want. Right now, I’m in charge.”
“But—”
“No buts. For the next week, you go to church, go to school, and come home. Wash, rinse, repeat. End of story. Dinner’s in an hour.”
“I’M. NOT. HUNGRY!”
“I. DON’T. CARE!” He left in haste, leaving his footprints in the carpet and slamming the door, making me scream against my pillow in irritation.