Mila
The letter that I hold in my hands is old and yellowed and precious. Tears blur my vision as I read it and I slowly wipe them away, careful not to smudge my makeup. I set it aside and look up at my sister.
“So much has happened this year,” I say softly. Maddy nods in agreement.
“Yeah,” she agrees with a laugh. “Who would have thought that I’d actually grow to love Pax?”
I roll my eyes. “How could you not? He’s amazing. He’s done everything that he promised he would.”
And he did. True to his word, Pax continued to see Dr. Tyler. He put in so much work on changing the way he handles things and communicates that I couldn’t be prouder of him, and our relationship couldn’t be more healthy or whole. He’s beautiful, inside and out. He completely gave up whiskey and drugs. The only thing he touches now is wine at dinner, with me.
“I can’t believe he gave up Jack Daniels,” Madison says wryly, shaking her head. “That blew me away. Especially when all of that legal stuff was going on with his mother’s killer. It was so stressful. But he never even blinked. He didn’t mess up once. I have to say, I’m impressed with him, Sis. Truly.”
I nod absently, thinking about how hard that ‘legal stuff’ had been for Pax to deal with.
Leroy Ellison is the name of the mail man who violated Susanna Tate. DNA evidence proved it within a 99.900% level of accuracy and Pax identified him in a line-up, in addition to describing the snake tattoo on Leroy’s hip.
Leroy is in jail now, awaiting trial. The Tate family attorneys don’t expect the trial to last long, since the evidence is conclusive.
“And then, for his grandpa to turn up and try to make amends… Pax had so much pressure from every direction. I thought for sure he’d slip up. But he didn’t,” Madison says, staring at me.
I have to admit, I had been a little nervous too. When William Alexander had showed up at Pax’s lake house and wanted to talk, I thought all kinds of shit was going to hit the fan. But he and Pax had taken a walk and talked through things.
And over the course of the past year, as Pax’s head became clearer and less clouded by his past hurt, he had decided to take an interest in the family company. He will someday take it over when his grandfather dies.
In the meantime, he is working from a home-office at the lake. He is learning the business and has met with his grandfather several times.
In one of those meetings, his grandfather gave him an old box of letters, written from his mother to Pax, beginning with the day he was born.
Maddy nods toward the letter sitting beside me.
“What’s the deal with that letter, anyway?”
“Apparently,” I explain, “When Paul moved Pax to Chicago, he left a bunch of Susanna’s stuff in their old house. He just couldn’t bring himself to throw it out. Pax’s grandfather sorted through it for him and when he did, he found a box of letters in Susanna’s closet.
“I guess, when she was pregnant, she got emotional and hormonal and had decided to start writing Pax letters for special occasions in his life, in case anything ever happened to her. Paul said he teased her about it, but she did it anyway. It turned out, her foresight was a good idea.”
“Oh my god,” Maddy breathes. “That gives me goose bumps. It’s amazing.”
I nod. “I know. William kept them for Pax all of these years.”
“Why did Pax want me to bring you that one this morning?” Maddy asks curiously.
I flip it over and hold it up for her to see. She obviously hadn’t looked at it when she carried it in to me.
The envelope is labeled, For Pax on his wedding day.
His wedding day is today.
Maddy’s eyes widen. “Oh, wow. What does it say?”
My fingers shake as I read through the elegant writing once again, this time aloud for Madison. I struggle not to cry, because the words are just so beautiful.
To my beautiful son,
Looking at you now, as you toddle about my garden collecting caterpillars, I can’t imagine a day when you will be grown, when you will be a man. I can’t imagine a day when your tiny chubby hands will grow into big, slender ones like your father’s and that you will be one day be big enough to find a woman that you love.
But I know that day will come, because days like that always do. You will be big and strong and beautiful and your wife will be lucky to have you. And you will be lucky to have her, too. Because anyone who captures your heart will be beautiful and amazing, as well. You will suit each other in every way. That is my hope for you.
If you’re reading this, then I am not there with you. But I want you to know that my heart is there. My love is there. My love will always live on in you. And when you hold your children and your grandchildren, my love will pass through you to them, because love is never-ending. It goes on and on and on.