I fall asleep with tears on my cheek and my phone in my hands. When I wake up, there is a text waiting for me.
I’m thinking about you, too. And I’m getting there.
His words make my heart smile. And it is somehow easier to get up and face my day.
********
“I think you’re losing weight,” Maddy announces, as she prances through my shop in her new boots and a take-out sack.
I look up from where I am framing a print of the night sky and roll my eyes.
“First, I thought you said we had to tighten our belts this winter?” I ask with my eyebrow raised as I stare pointedly at her boots.
She looks sheepish. “That was true. But things are perking up now that spring is rolling around.”
“February isn’t spring,” I tell her wryly. She rolls her eyes.
“A mere technicality. It’s late February. Almost spring. Now that people aren’t snowed in, business is picking up. But you’re deflecting. You haven’t been eating right. I bet you’ve lost ten pounds—and you didn’t have it to lose, Slim.”
I would say something, but I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. She’s right. I’ve lost weight and I didn’t have it to lose.
“Did you bring me something to eat?” I ask instead. She nods, plunking the sack unceremoniously down on my picture.
“Grilled cheese and a bowl of minestrone. Tony said to eat it all and you’ll get dessert. He also said you’re getting chicken legs.”
I shake my head, and can’t help but smile. Tony loves us in his own gruff way. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was his idea that Maddy brought me the food.
“I saw Pax’s car parked in front of Dr. Tyler’s office,” Maddy mentions as she curls herself into a sleek red chair. “He’s been there a lot lately. Have you talked to him?”
I chew a bite of my sandwich and swallow hard to get it to go down. “No. Not in a month. Has he been in to The Hill?”
Maddy shakes her head. “No. And I haven’t seen his car at the bar, either. He’s pretty much been out of sight, except for when he’s with Dr. Tyler.”
She stares at me.
I ignore it.
“Well?” she finally demands, her ice blue gaze on mine. “He’s respecting your space and he’s putting in the effort so that he can move forward. Don’t you think it’s time that you took the initiative to speak with him?”
I almost drop my sandwich. “Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” I demand. “You don’t like Pax. You’ve never liked Pax. You’ve told me a hundred times that he’s not worth my time, that he’ll never be boyfriend material.”
I am beyond shocked at her.
Maddy has the grace to look sheepish.
“I don’t know,” she admits. “I can’t explain why I feel differently. I just do. My gut instincts are telling me that he deserves a second chance. I really think he’s trying, Mi. To be honest, not only have I not seen his car at the bar, but when I was in there the other day for a drink, I asked Mickey if he’s seen him. He hasn’t.”
She stares at me again, hard and long. I sigh.
“Madison, just because he hasn’t been in the Bear’s Den doesn’t mean that he’s stopped drinking. Or doing worse things. For all we know, he’s holed up in his house with whiskey and drugs. We don’t know what he’s doing.”
There is a pause while Madison fidgets.
“You don’t know what he’s doing,” she finally says hesitantly. “Because you haven’t talked with him. But I have.”
I do drop my sandwich this time, right into my soup.
“What?” I ask, as my stomach plummets into my feet. “You lied? You said you haven’t spoken with him.”
For some strange reason, my fingers shake as I wait for her answer, as my heart beats loudly against my ribcage.
Madison looks uncertain now. “I didn’t lie. I said he hasn’t been in The Hill. And he hasn’t. But he called me a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, he’s been keeping an eye on you and he noticed that you’ve still been picking up a lot of shifts for me and he wanted to help.”
“He. What?” I ask stiltedly, trying to wrap my mind around this new turn of events. My icy sister has been speaking to Pax behind my back?
“He wanted to help,” she repeats. “He told me that he knows how much The Hill means to us since it was our parents’ dream and he wanted to make sure that we don’t lose it. He paid off our renovation loan and then he sent one of his own business advisors to talk to me. We sat down and wrote out an updated business plan and now The Hill is back on track. It appears that I needed to make a few changes and so I did. And also, apparently, I needed to make a few changes in my personal life, too, like not judging someone that I don’t even know. I didn’t know Pax. I had no right to tell you stay away from him.”
I am stunned beyond words. I feel like something is sitting on my chest, weighing down my lungs as I stare at my sister. I can’t breathe.
I grab my water and take a drink, then another.