It’s true life’s a dance
Onward into the night
The love I found with you is the love that was right
As she sang, she heard Liam’s voice so clearly in her head it was like he was standing next to her, whispering in her ear. Did you really think you were going to be a rock star, Layla?
Yeah, maybe she had.
And maybe she still could. There was nothing standing in her way, nothing to prevent her from pursuing a sky’s-the-limit musical career.
But nothing would ever make her feel as good as the way she felt right then, singing for the crowd. And no one ever said she had to be a rock star to keep doing it.
The question wasn’t “Who do you love?” It was “What do you love?” What do you really want, Layla?
She’d been chasing the answer her entire adult life, and there it was right there in front of her, blinking neon, shining even brighter than the lights beaming down on her.
This is what I love.
This is what I want.
This is what makes me happy.
If she’d really wanted to be a rock star, she would have become one. She’d have taken that rep up on his offer and she would have let them mold her in any way they wanted. She would have felt bad about leaving the band behind, but she would have done it anyway. And then, someday, she would have taken what the music executives had created and she’d have torn it down and built it back up into whatever she wanted, because other artists had done that exact same thing and she could have, too. But she hadn’t done any of that. She’d blamed Liam because it was easier than admitting to herself that the dream had died, and she’d only been clinging to it because she wasn’t honest with herself about what she really wanted. Maybe she truly didn’t know.
Sometimes it took a while to figure someone out even if that person was yourself.
When the last note faded away, Layla set down her guitar, turned to Brian, and said, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
chapter 50
Layla
Brian looked shocked. “You don’t want to sing with me anymore? Are you okay? Did I do something?”
“No, sorry. That came out wrong. I feel great and I want to perform with you anytime we have the chance. But I don’t want to play for a computer screen. I don’t want to do all the other stuff. I don’t want to pose for pictures in my bed and I don’t want to come up with clever things to say online. I don’t want to keep hoping that we get picked up by a label. I don’t want any of that. You’re good at it and you seem to enjoy it more than I do. But I don’t.”
Never again would she go along with something that didn’t feel right. Not with a man, not with a friend, not with her musical partner.
Not in any aspect of her life.
She started to say she was sorry, but that was something she wouldn’t say anymore, either. Not where her own happiness was concerned.
“All I need is to play in front of a crowd. It’s like oxygen to me. I want you to take everything else and run with it. This will open doors for your songwriting. It already has. I will sing whatever you write. But I don’t care what happens with it. That’s it. That’s all I can give you.”
She wasn’t leaving him in a bind by letting him go solo. He’d already confided that the money they were earning had allowed him to sock enough away that he could keep the doors of the guitar shop open indefinitely. And he’d received some promising feedback on a few of the songs he’d been trying to sell. He’d make it as a songwriter; Layla would not hesitate to put money down on that bet.
Brian looked at her with an expression of genuine warmth and understanding. “That’s plenty, Layla. It’s more than enough.”
“Okay,” she said.
“You want a beer? I’m going to grab one.”
“A beer would be great.”
Brian walked off toward the bar, and Layla set her guitar back in its stand.
I just wanted to keep playing.
She took a deep breath, and a peaceful feeling settled over her. Then she scanned the crowd, and her heart leapt, because it turned out that Brian hadn’t been wrong after all.
chapter 51
Josh
Josh had arrived mid-set, and he’d been standing near the back of the room, because there were no open tables. He’d waited patiently for her to finish playing, finish talking to Brian. Then he weaved his way through the crowd and walked up to Layla.
He didn’t say anything; instead, he took her face in his hands and kissed her, because he’d been waiting a long time to do that again. He was no longer an impulsive eighteen-year-old, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t lose control every now and then. Layla wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back like they were the only two people in the room.
His divorce had been final for a few weeks, but he’d tied up a few more loose ends before going to the bar that night. His brother had set him up with the friend of a coworker, and though Josh’s first instinct had been to say he wasn’t interested, he went ahead and met the woman for a drink. She was smart and attractive, and it turned out that she kickboxed at the same gym he went to, although she went early in the morning and he went after work. She was funny and the conversation never lagged and there was not a damn thing wrong with her except that she wasn’t Layla.
He’d also done a lot of thinking during their time apart, and he’d gotten comfortable with being alone. Not too comfortable, but he’d done all the things he was supposed to do, and it turned out those women’s magazines knew what they were talking about. He’d spent plenty of one-on-one time with Sasha. He’d had plenty of alone time and he had his dog. Getting to know himself had taken a bit longer, but it turned out that he wasn’t an idiot and there was nothing wrong with being a serial monogamist.
Josh had been notified of Brian and Layla’s performance because he’d signed up for their newsletter one night when he’d been unable to get the memory out of his head of Layla singing in her basement. He’d never watched their live videos because he didn’t have any social media accounts, but the weekly newsletter kept him informed of their accomplishments and he couldn’t be happier for them.
“You hungry?” Josh asked.
“Starving.”
“Want to get something to eat?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
He helped her gather her things and they said good-bye to Brian. Over a late dinner, he told her about Kimmy’s attempt to reconcile and how he’d missed the signs. He told her that the divorce was final. “It does feel better having those loose ends tied up, but I sure did miss you.”
“I missed you, too,” she said. “And I’m so happy that you’re back.”
chapter 52
Josh