“I’m going to talk to him like a mature adult and admit that maybe I’ve gotten a little ahead of myself. Cool things down at least until the divorce is final. My gut says he’s a good guy, but I’ve been wrong before and there’s no reason to hurry. If it’s right, it will still be there.” Layla wanted it to work out, but if she’d learned one thing from her relationship with Liam, it was that people didn’t always tell you what they were thinking.
And Kimberly hadn’t looked like someone who was building a custody case against her soon-to-be-ex-husband; she looked like someone who wished she had him back.
chapter 46
Layla
Layla sat on her thoughts for a couple of days, wishing she could convince herself that what she’d seen had been no big deal and didn’t warrant a discussion with Josh. However, her gut would have no part of that, and when he arrived with Norton on Thursday night, right after he kissed her, the first thing she said was “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure. What is it?”
She hesitated, and the smile faded from his face. Now he looked a little worried. “I’m falling for you,” she said. “Hard.”
His smile returned. “I feel the same way.”
“But I think we need to step back for a bit. You’re not legally divorced yet and Liam is trying to make things difficult for me. When I saw you with Kimberly at school the other day, it really hit home that we’ve got some loose ends that need to be tied up.”
He didn’t say anything right away, but then he looked into her eyes. “Is that what you want?”
No. “I can’t call you mine if you still belong to someone else,” she said.
“I don’t belong to her,” he said. “But I understand and I’m okay with waiting until the papers are signed, especially if Kimmy tried to use my relationship with you as a reason to build a custody case. Not that she knows about us.”
“But that’s part of it. You shouldn’t have to worry about that, and you wouldn’t have to if you were divorced. I feel like we’re hiding something from her, and I don’t like that feeling.”
“I don’t like it, either.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said. She would be right there waiting, and if he didn’t return to her, she would always remember him fondly. Maybe he was meant to be her rebound, her buffer between Liam and whoever came next. And maybe she was meant to be his.
Or maybe they would find their way back to each other because there was no one else they’d rather be with.
“How about one more night?” Josh said. “We’ll do everything we planned and then tomorrow we’ll go our separate ways until the dust settles.”
She smiled. “Absolutely.” Josh wasn’t a drug she couldn’t give up. She was thirty-five years old, and the practical, cautious side of her had made the decision to put their relationship on the back burner for a while, and it was the right decision. But it soothed some of the pain when she realized he wouldn’t be walking out the door quite yet.
“I’ve already taken you-know-who on a W-A-L-K, but how about going for one with me?”
“Sure,” she said.
Outside, he reached for her hand. She wished she could throw caution to the wind and forget about everything but how good it felt to walk with her hand held tightly in his, but she couldn’t.
He didn’t try to talk her out of it, not that she’d expected him to, and in the silence, she could almost hear the wheels turning in both their heads.
“It’s weird,” she said. “Life.”
“It is.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about where I was ten years ago and how I’m in a totally different place than what I’d imagined.”
He let out a short laugh. “I can relate but double that to twenty.”
“Maybe what’s coming is better than we imagined,” she said.
“I hope so.”
They walked for a long time, and when they got back to Layla’s he took her hand again and led her to the bedroom. She was glad they’d decided on one last night together. And the next morning, when he slipped from her bed after placing a kiss on her temple, only time would reveal if there would be more.
chapter 47
Josh
To an outsider, the morning drop-off looked the same: He and Sasha would walk from the parking lot to the sidewalk and then to where Layla and Tonya stood next to the curb. They still exchanged good-mornings, and then they’d walk into the building. Sometimes, Sasha would have news to share with Layla or Tonya, and Josh would wait patiently. He still smiled at Layla and she smiled back, but the interaction only served to highlight how much he missed seeing her, talking to her, every day. On his way out, he told Layla and Tonya to have a nice day and then he walked to his truck.
They were two weeks into their cooling-off period by then, and while Josh knew that Layla had been right to ask him to wait, it didn’t make their time apart any easier. He wasn’t pining for her like some lovesick teenager, but he felt her absence in the lack of communication. He felt it when he reached for his phone to call and say good night after Sasha was in bed and it was just him and Norton sitting on the couch. Josh felt like he was in a state of arrested development. He knew how to be an impulsive eighteen-year-old who married the first woman he fell in love with and then a young adult who had to get his shit together and become a good husband. Now he was a single dad in his late thirties who was starting over, and he felt like a tourist in a strange land trying to figure out how all the pieces fit together.
Sometimes he thought the break was unnecessary because he had feelings for Layla, strong feelings, and he wasn’t interested in anyone but her. But he knew he had things he still needed to do. Kimmy had finally received the divorce paperwork and she’d asked Josh to come over and sign everything, so now he’d be one step closer to putting this chapter of his life to rest. He hadn’t realized until Layla asked if they could take a step back how much he needed the closure himself.
* * *
Josh rang the buzzer to Kimmy’s condo around ten thirty. She’d told Josh she had taken the day off, but when she opened the door, she looked far more put-together than someone who planned on relaxing for the day. She’d done her hair and makeup, and instead of sweats she was dressed in jeans and boots and a low-cut sweater. He caught a whiff of the perfume she’d been wearing for the last ten years, which he could identify on anyone who came close enough for him to smell it.
“Hey,” he said as he shook the rain from his hair.
“Come in,” she said. “I made coffee. Would you like a cup?”
“Sure. Thanks.”
She brought him the coffee and a slice of banana bread that still had steam wafting from it. “I felt like baking. This weather is so dreary,” she said.
“Smells good.” He took a big bite. “Tastes good too.”
Kimberly sat down across from him with her own coffee and banana bread, and they ate in silence. When Josh was finished, he said, “Do you have the papers? I can sign them and get out of your hair. I’m sure you’ve got something more fun planned for your day off.”
She stood up and took their plates to the sink, and that was when Josh’s anxiety over their custody arrangement creeped back in. “Kimmy?” he said.