“I know, Josh. I’m asking because you deserve to have someone who makes you happy.”
“I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.” The desire never to hurt Kimmy was so deeply ingrained that he would not mention Layla or how far they had already taken things before deciding to spend some time apart. “You’re a good mom, Kimmy. I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”
He stood up and hugged her and she squeezed him back. “I need to get going,” he said. “You were right. There is more out there. Go out and find it.”
chapter 48
Layla
“How does this work again?” Layla asked. She and Brian were sitting on their makeshift stage in a corner of the guitar shop at a quarter ’til nine on Thursday evening. They had fully immersed themselves in the social media side of things, and Brian had added the links for Facebook and Instagram and Twitter to their shiny new website. They’d scheduled an event, and at nine they would go live and sing “Thankful” for their new fans. Brian had been hyping it online for over a week. Facing them were two laptops on a stack of boxes that Brian adjusted for height.
“I’m setting up Facebook and Instagram to broadcast us simultaneously. We’ll sing the song and then we can take questions from our listeners.”
“I’m glad you have the technical side figured out, because I’m just a girl with her guitar who’s ready to play.”
“I just hope people show up,” Brian said.
“But we won’t be able to see them, right?” Layla said.
“No. We won’t be able to see anyone. Is your guy watching? Pretend like you’re playing for him.”
“Oh. We’re not really seeing each other right now.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. We didn’t break up.” But sometimes that was exactly how it felt. Layla would think of something she wanted to tell Josh and would reach for her phone before remembering they weren’t doing that anymore, and that it had been her idea. “He wasn’t legally divorced yet and I felt like things were getting pretty serious. We’re taking a step back.”
Brian nodded. “Understandable.”
“And he’s the first person I’ve dated since my divorce, and I’m his. And you know that never works out. The first person you get together with after a breakup is like a practice relationship, like a job interview for a job you don’t really want so you can work out all the kinks before the next one.”
“Hmmm,” Brian said.
“And also, his wife—because technically they’re still married—showed up with some blondies and complimented his hair because I guess their split was amicable and not the disaster mine was. It looked like he’s got some loose ends he still needs to tie up, you know?”
“I have no idea what a blondie is, but he seemed really cool.”
“It’s a brownie but with white chocolate. And he’s a great guy. That’s not the issue.”
“Nothing wrong with making sure he’s moved on and ready for something new.”
“Exactly.”
“But then again, overthinking can really mess up a good thing. Wouldn’t you say?”
“I’m sensing that you have an opinion on this. You can give it to me straight,” Layla said.
“I agree that he should definitely be divorced but throw out all that other bullshit about practice relationships. This is about faith and what your gut is telling you.”
“My gut told me to wait and I listened to it.”
“That was actually your fear that did that.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“It was. And it’s understandable. Breakups suck and the last thing you want to do is fall in love and get your heart trampled on again. It’s self-preservation. I know all about that. I even wrote a song about it.”
“You’ve never been divorced,” she said. “It’s different.”
“True. There are legal issues involved, which is why I agreed that he should be divorced. But let me ask you this? If the ink had dried on that divorce decree six months ago and there was nothing standing in your way, would you still be hesitating? Tell the truth.”
“No. I was pretty much all in until she brought him blondies and complimented his hair.”
“Forget about the blondies and the comment about his hair. A random woman standing in line next to me at a gas station once told me she liked the way I was dressed, and I still think about it. That was six years ago.”
“Wow,” Layla said.
“Men are not that complicated. We seldom turn down baked goods and we like it when a woman says something nice to us, especially if that woman is someone we used to care about. It makes us feel less like idiots or that there was something wrong with us. He’ll tie up those loose ends and he’ll be back.”
Layla fiddled with her guitar as Brian gave the laptops a final adjustment. “Okay, we are good to go,” he said.
“Brian?”
He sat down next to her and picked up his guitar. “Yeah?”
“I almost asked you out once. It was that night I stopped in right before you closed, and we played together. I thought you were nice and smart and handsome, and we had a lot in common. And then you mentioned your fiancée, so I didn’t say anything.”
He smiled from ear to ear. “I think we both know I’ll be coasting on this until sometime in 2032.”
Layla laughed. “As well you should.”
* * *
At nine, they went live, and Brian addressed the attendees who were typing “hi” and “here” and “can’t wait,” and he shouted out greetings to them by name.
“Hey, nice to see you tonight, Matthew,” he said. “Thanks for coming, Lauren, Darian, Cordelia. We’ll give people a few more minutes to join and then Layla and I are going to sing the song that you guys have made more popular than we ever dreamed. We can’t thank you enough for your support. You’re awesome.”
“Hey, Lisa,” Layla said. “Hey, Brooke, Julie. Nice to see you, Scott.”
“Hey, Grace,” Brian said. “Hey, Stacy, Stefani, Amy. So happy you could join us tonight. Leave a comment with your location so we know where you’re tuning in from.”
Brian was better at this than Layla was, but after she greeted a few more people by name and felt the genuine smile on her face, she relaxed, and it felt more natural. Fun, even. It filled her with warmth to see the support, and it was cool noticing how many people were showing up to watch them sing.
Brian played the opening notes of “Thankful,” and she joined in. They played the intro a couple of times, slowly, gearing up. “What do you say, Layla?” Brian asked. “Ready to sing this song?”
“I sure am, Brian,” she said, and they launched into it.