had seemed fine with it. I smiled, thinking of Kellan lugging his guitar onto the bus. He’d never settle for playing on just anybody’s.
As I was setting down Griffin’s bass, I saw a small note taped on the back. Now, normally, I wouldn’t touch anything of Griffin’s, even handling his instrument was questionable, but the note had my name on it.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I tore off the securely held piece of paper. Unfolding it, I cringed, waiting for some horrific comment from the crude bassist. I was pleasantly surprised at what I discovered, though.
I know you hate touching anything of Griffin’s, so I thought I’d make it a little more bearable for you. Thank you for doing this. I love you, Kellan.
Grinning like an idiot, I tucked the note into my pocket. Warmth flooded through me, both from the fact that he knew me so well, in regards to Griffin, and also from the fact that he’d been thinking about me far enough in advance to plan leaving that message behind. He must have put it there prior to the show. Biting my lip, I wondered if this was also a part of his plan. I wondered what else I might find, tucked here and there, just waiting for me to discover them.
We got all the instruments and equipment brought in with only a couple of trips to the van. After Jenny arranged Evan’s second drum set next to his first one, she sighed and came over to rest her head on my shoulder. Placing my hand over the normally perky blonde’s head, I offered what comfort I could. As much as Kellan and the boys missed us, being left behind was so much harder than leaving. I knew we’d all be sifting through our emotional baggage for a while, finding a new mood every ten minutes. Jenny confirmed that for me by brightly popping her head up.
“Oh, we have to remember to pay the neighbors.” I stared at her blankly, not having a clue what she meant. Rent or something? Noticing my puzzled expression, she shook her head. “You know, Matt and Griffin’s neighbors.” Still confused, I shook mine. Jenny tilted her head. “Kellan didn’t tell you what he did?” Narrowing my brows, I wondered just what he’d done. “No…” 200
Laughing a little at my sullen tone, she pointed out the window, to the direction of Matt and Griffin’s suburban utopia. “He paid all the neighbors to not call the cops if the party got a little…noisy.” My mouth lowered. “He paid all the…what?”
Jenny shrugged. “Well, since he knew the party would get started late, I guess he figured it would go until the early morning. Most suburban-ites aren’t okay with that, so he gave them money to encourage them to let it go for one night.” She shrugged again. “He said if they did, he’d double the amount. We’re supposed to deliver that payment.” I shook my head at how much that must have cost him. And all so he could give everyone a good time on the band’s last night in town. Shaking my head, I glanced out the window. “That must have cost him a fortune.” I looked back at Jenny. “Is that even legal?” Jenny shrugged. “I don’t know, but I told him I’d take care of it. He left some money here…somewhere.”
As Jenny began to search for the envelope padded with hush money, I frowned and put my hands on my hips. “Why didn’t he ask me?” I muttered.
Anna, resting on the couch with her feet up, heard me. “Probably because he knew you’d get that look on your face, and object to him throwing his money away.”
She smirked after she said it and I frowned at her. Damn right, I objected. But still…I was his girlfriend, not Jenny. Slipping money under people’s doors should have been my job. Laughter swung my attention around. Jenny and Rachel were in the corner of the room reserved as the kitchen, and were staring into a can of coffee grounds, chuckling.
Curious, I walked over to them. Jenny shook her head, pulling a thick envelope out of the can. “Kellan and his coffee,” she murmured.
I flushed, my own memories of Kellan, coffee, and an espresso stand that I’d never forget, mixed erotically in my head. Not noticing my face, Jenny opened the envelope and did a quick count of the cash. When she 201
got to the end of the wad, she pulled out a piece of paper. Seeing my name on the outside, she looked up and handed it to me.
“Here, it’s for you.”
I smiled as I grabbed it. I smiled even more reading it.
Don’t be angry. I asked Jenny to do this because I knew you’d be upset with me for spending so much money. I had to, though. I had to give you a memorable evening, and preferably one that didn’t end with us all being arrested…although, seeing you in handcuffs…
Anyway, please don’t be mad. I did it for you. You deserved a good night last night. You deserve everything. I love you, I miss you. Kellan.
Gazing stupidly at his handwriting across the paper, I didn’t notice the person reading over my shoulder. I noticed when she shoved me forward. “Goddamn, he’s sweet. I really wouldn’t have expected that from him.”
Folding the note, I looked back at Anna. She giggled and hugged me.
Kissing my head, she added, “You’re one freaking lucky girl, sis. I hope you know that.”
Smiling, I raised my chin a bit. “I do.”
Squeezing my shoulders, Anna laughed a little harder. “And I’m lucky, too. I’m going to have the hottest brother-in-law on the planet!” I playfully pushed her away from me. “We’re not…he’s not…” Slinging her arm around Jenny, Anna continued undaunted. “Can’t you just picture what my nieces and nephews are going to look like?” Jenny laughed as Anna sighed. “Those deep blue eyes, that jaw, those lips…”
“That hair,” Rachel quietly added.
I flushed and smacked my sister on the arm. She was the one that had started this little, embarrassing conversation, and as family, I had the 202
right, no…duty…to wail on her; I was pretty sure that had been covered in my ethics class.
Stepping away from me, Anna leaned over to Rachel. “And you know I’m going to have loads and loads of them, because their parents can’t keep their hands off each other.” As I covered my face with my hands and shook my head, Anna sighed again. “I’ll have to get a bigger place, just so all the beautiful little babies can visit me.” Removing my hands, I rolled my eyes. Anna shrugged. “Just saying.” As I turned to leave the loft, since we were finished with the instruments, I heard my sister murmur to the girls, “I cannot wait to see our dad’s expression when he finds out that a rock star impregnated his daughter…it’s going to be epic.”
They were all laughing as I left the room, my body heating at just the thought of one day carrying Kellan’s child. It was a very nice thought. I wondered how Kellan felt about having kids… Hmmm, maybe I should wonder about how he felt about getting married. First things first and all.
I smiled as I opened the door to his Chevelle. I’d never truly considered marriage with Denny. Maybe because we’d been so young, maybe because I always knew he’d never agree to it until he was settled in his career. With him, it had just seemed a far off goal that we’d eventually reach one day, and I hadn’t felt the need to make that day come any faster than was necessary. But with Kellan…well, my heart beat faster at just the thought of a ring on my finger. And aside from the honor of being his wife, a ring on him would be a back-off symbol to every other girl out there.
I paused as I reached the key to the ignition. I didn’t like that thought.
I didn’t want to marry him just so he’d be “off the market.” I wanted to marry him because he was my world. And he was…but there was an ul-terior motive in me being his wife and I didn’t like myself for it. I guess I wasn’t ready yet. I had to get over wanting to stake a claim on him first. I had to be so comfortable in our relationship that no one outside of it mattered.
I had to learn to trust him.
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We both had to learn to trust each other…and this tour was just what we needed, really. It provided an opportunity for us both to stray. I knew I wouldn’t, and I prayed that Kellan wouldn’t, but either way, we’d know for sure after this.
Anna had to go to work so she headed home, but Jenny, Rachel and I completed Kellan’s task for him. Giggling, we stuffed envelopes with thank you notes into the cracks of people’s doors. None of us wanted to knock on the doors to deliver the money personally, since we really weren’t sure about the legality of it all. We felt a little spy-like dropping off the payment money, and I started to think that this was another thing I could cross off my bucket list. At this rate, I’d complete the entire thing while Kellan was gone. Well, except for the growing old with someone I loved part…I’d need him for that one.
Luckily, Matt and Griffin’s place was backed against a greenbelt, so we only had to worry about the neighbors on either side and across the street. We were finished in no time. The last door we went to was the home of a sweet elderly lady. Jenny was trying to get the envelope to stay in the closed crack of the door when it suddenly opened.
The wrinkled woman smiled warmly at us and held her hand out for the envelope. “Ah, good, my bingo money, as promised.” Jenny and I glanced at each other and then Jenny handed over the wad of sealed cash. Taking it, the stooped woman tried to lift herself up to her full height and look over the top of us. Rachel quickly ducked down behind me, trying to hide from the woman that I was pretty sure couldn’t see farther than a few feet anyway.
“Is that good-looking boy with you?”
Shaking my head, I murmured, “No, Ma’am.” A little sadly, I added,
“He had to leave town for a while.”
The grandmother patted my arm consolingly. “Well, that’s too bad.” She leaned in to whisper, “He was very easy on the eye.” I giggled as the woman leaned back. Yes, Kellan was very easy on the eye…effortless to 204
look at. Shrugging her sagging shoulders, she added, “His bottom was very nice, too.”
Jenny snorted, then girlishly slapped her hand over her mouth. Rachel popped her head up over my shoulder and giggled at the spunky old lady.
The neighbor’s gnarled hand pointed across to where the raging party had been going until the early hours of today. “That was some celebration you all had.” Her eyes glassed over, reminiscing. “I used to tip back a few in my youth.” Shaking her head, she grinned. “It was illegal back then, so we all met underground, in secret places.” She lifted the envelope. “We had to pay people to keep the coppers away, too.” Shaking my head at her, I smiled wider. Man, she was way older than I’d anticipated. I hoped I was as put together as she was when I was in my nineties. Glancing at all of our tired faces, she squinted her graying eyes. “You all look like you’re suffering from the excess. Why don’t you come in…I have the perfect cure.”
Jenny and I looked at each other and shrugged. My headache had dialed back at lot since this morning, but it still ached and throbbed, especially when I moved my head too fast. Plus, I hadn’t dared to eat anything yet. My stomach was only mildly queasy…I didn’t want to push it over the edge. Maybe the former flapper knew a sure-fire fix. We’re always being told to listen to our elders, right? Surely that includes hangover advice.
So, the three of us spent a good chunk of the afternoon having a really horrid cup of tea with a surprisingly interesting old lady. I’d have to tell Kellan all about her when he got back. He’d get a kick out of her. I probably wouldn’t mention that she enjoyed his backside, though.
Once finished delivering the rest of our payments, I went home to get ready for work. Anna was long gone and my home was empty. Running my hand along the back of Kellan’s favorite chair, the chair he’d given me when I’d involuntarily moved out of his place, I wondered where he was now. Probably in the middle of nowhere, probably out of cell range.
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Sighing, I pushed it from my mind and went to take a nice, hot shower. After a long night of partying, I’d never felt so grimy in all my life. The ancient woman’s miracle cure kicked in once my body was cleaned and refreshed, and I amazingly felt one hundred percent better when I stepped from the shower. Better…and starving.
After quickly dressing into my work clothes and throwing my wavy locks into a haphazard pony tail, I made myself a meal fit for a Queen.
Okay, it was a bowl of spaghetti, but I was so hungry it felt like the best meal on earth going down.
Feeling full and content, more like myself, I pulled my cell phone out of my jacket and stared at it for a moment. Running my thumb over the screen, I considered trying to call Kellan. Maybe he was close enough to a large town that he could pick up a tower now. On second thought, cell towers lined practically every freeway in the world nowadays. Maybe I was wrong about him being in the middle of nowhere. Middle of nowhere didn’t really exist in our world anymore. With modern technology, you could almost always be found, anywhere you went.
But, I’d just talked to him this morning, and he had said he’d call tonight. I didn’t want to be “that girl.” The obsessing girlfriend that checked in every hour on the hour. I wanted to learn to live my live fully and completely without him, as well as with him. That was the mistake I’d made with Denny. Letting my happiness revolve around him for so long.
When Denny had left for Tucson, it had left a hole in me, a void that Kellan had filled. I didn’t want to repeat that pattern. I didn’t want anyone to fill Kellan’s place, now that he was the one that was leaving. So I had to fill the ache of him being away with something healthy, something all my own. I wasn’t sure what yet, but I was positive that I could. Losing Denny the way I had, doing what I’d done to him…that had forced me to grow up some.
Guilt and regret flooding me, I dialed a number that I hadn’t in a while, a number that I should really call more often. Bringing the ringing phone to my ear, I bit my lip while I waited for the other line to pick up.
It did on the third ring.
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“Hello?”A familiar voice said happily, clearly mid-laugh.
“Uh, hi…it’s me.” I rolled my eyes at my awkward greeting. Really, after everything, things between us shouldn’t be awkward anymore.
“Oh, hey, Kiera.”
Denny’s accent wrapped around my name and I smiled, memories coming back to me. In the background, I heard a female voice asking him a question. I instantly did the time zone math in my head and cringed. It was late Saturday afternoon here, so it was Sunday morning in Australia.
He was probably having a leisurely brunch with his girlfriend, Abby.
Being the honorable man that I knew he was, Denny answered her question truthfully. “It’s Kiera. I’ll just be a minute, Abb, then I’ll show you how to make pancakes without burning them.” In the background I clearly heard, “That was not my fault! You completely distracted me.” Denny chuckled at her and I instantly felt stupid for calling. He had his own life, he really didn’t need me interfering in it. Thinking I should just tell him that I’d call back later, his voice shifted back into the phone.
“What’s up? Everything alright?”
I sighed, forcing the image of him with another woman out of my head. He was happy. That’s all I’d ever wished for him. “Yeah, no, everything’s fine, Denny. I just, we haven’t…” I sighed again, not knowing exactly how to put my feelings into words. I’d really have to work on that, since English was my major. “It’s just…we don’t get to talk as much as we used to, and the last time we talked things were…weird. I wanted to make sure you were…okay.”
I bit my lip, hating that I’d brought up that conversation. Kellan had drunkenly talked about our sex life with him, something Kellan had been really careful to never do, not since the night of the fight, the night Denny had broken his arm, nearly broken my skull.
Denny sighed. “Yeah…I already got a call from Kellan this morning, Kiera. The two of you really don’t have to worry about me. You don’t need to walk on eggshells. You don’t need to treat me with kid gloves. I get it. You’re together. I know what…that entails. I’m fine with it, Kiera.