It confirmed what they’d told me. After the surgeries, the scarring had left me with severely damaged fallopian tubes and my ovaries barely functioned. The only reason they’d left them in place was not wanting to put me into early menopause. It was hit or miss whether I’d even get a period. I didn’t want any more surgery if I could help it. They couldn’t fix what had been broken. And it was just my reality.
Seeing it laid out brought it home. The accident had taken a lot from me. And yet, strangely, I was no longer sad or mourning the loss of it. Before, I had no hope. I had nothing but a big fat void inside myself. Four voids. Four missing pieces. Now, the void was no longer there. It had been filled and with it brought a sense of peace and acceptance. I wasn’t lesser or damaged. I was me. Scarlett. A woman who had survived many ordeals. It made me strong, not weak. It made me powerful.
I stared at the tablet for a long moment before turning off the screen and going back to my breakfast.
“I’m okay with the fact I can’t have kids,” I said, making them all look at me with startled expressions. They hadn’t been expecting me to announce it. And I hadn’t either, but the thing was, I was okay. Now all was said and done, it didn’t feel like I was drowning in misery any longer. I was whole.
“I mean, I don’t think I was before, but I felt like I was missing something… when in reality, what I was missing was all of you. I feel like myself again because I have my family back. That’s what I need. My family. Biological urges are all very well, but it’s what I want that matters. And I want you four. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less… just you.”
I looked down at my hands resting on the table.
“What I need to know is if you all feel the same. I mean, I know you do, but we’ve never said it to each other when we’re all together. I need to know you’re okay with it only being us for the rest of our lives.”
The first person to take my hand was West, who was sat next to me. He rubbed his thumb down the back of my hand and gave me a look that spoke volumes.
“I’ve never wanted anything else other than the five of us.”
And if that didn’t say something about West’s feelings towards us, I didn’t know what would. We’d been dancing around the fact we loved each other and strangely, I was okay with it. He wasn’t ready to tell me. Sometimes words weren’t necessary when you could look into a person’s eyes and see the truth. West didn’t hide his feelings from me. He just struggled to openly admit them.
I squeezed his hand to reassure him. He gave me a nod, then turned towards Drake, who was sat at the head of the table as usual. He laid his palm out flat on the wooden surface. I could see the cogs turning in Drake’s head, but he didn’t hesitate to put his hand on West’s, as if this was his connection to me too.
“I didn’t go through ten years of fighting to get you back to make our family whole for nothing,” he said with a low voice, emotion radiating off all the words. “I just want us.”
Apparently, my prodding and insisting Drake open up to me had shifted something inside him. Or maybe it was because we’d shared our feelings finally. Either way, my heart was full seeing him be so willing to declare how he felt and what he wanted.
Drake turned to Francis, putting his hand out to him. As expected, there was no hesitation on Francis’ part to hold Drake’s hand. He looked over at me, his silvery-grey eyes glinting. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. Something about the way Francis looked at me had my body heating like he was stripping me bare in his mind and imagining all the dirty things he wanted to do to me. Whilst it might not be entirely appropriate given the conversation we were having, I didn’t care. It was layered with love too. The love he felt for me. The unfathomable depths of it weren’t overwhelming. I felt the same way. I did about all of them.
“You complete us, Scar. I don’t have need or want for anything else other than this.”
Francis gave me a wink before putting his hand out to Prescott, who took it, then leant across the table to take mine again. Prescott stared at me with those beautiful blues of his. The smile he gave me had my heart racing.
“You four and Mum are the only people who have never willingly walked out of my life without a backwards glance. My loyalty is here and there’s nothing else I could ask for or need other than this.”
He squeezed my hand tight in his. It made me want him so badly, I was up and out of my chair, letting go of his hand and West’s. I was around the table and gripping his face the next moment.
“I love you,” I whispered before I kissed him.
It wasn’t chaste or restrained. I poured out my love and appreciation into it, showing him my feelings. How I would never abandon him, even when things were tough. Never give up on the two of us, no matter what happened in the future. He deserved my devotion. He loved me in a way I couldn’t describe. Gave me things I never knew I needed or desired. He was my king.
“I love you too,” he told me when I released him.
I walked around him to Francis and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling my nose against his.
“You made me blush with the way you were looking at me,” I whispered.
He ran his hand down my chest, making me wriggle in his grasp before curling his fingers around my waist.
“Can’t blame me, can you?”
I chuckled before kissing him. Admittedly, I adored the way he made me feel beautiful and wanted without words. My safety and my home were with him.
“No,” I replied when I pulled away. “But that wicked mind of yours is clearly running riot. No doubt you won’t tell me what you’re planning.”
He grinned and bit his lip.
“Never.”
I pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“I love you for it.”
“I love you more.”
I stroked his face before extracting myself from his lap and going to Drake. He curled a hand around my waist, pulling me against his side as I leant down towards him. Drake tipped his face up to catch my mouth in a searing kiss that had my toes curling.
“My little wisp,” he murmured against my lips.
“My reaper,” I whispered back.
He smiled, stroked my side, and then released me. We’d already made love declarations earlier, so I wasn’t put out by the fact he didn’t say anything further. I skipped around the table to West instead, who looked up at me with his beautiful amber eyes shining with happiness.
I reached down, tucking my fingers under the collar of his shirt and brushing them over the scars I’d given him. He took my other hand and pressed it to his mouth, giving my palm a series of kisses. I craved the reassurance of his embrace.
West didn’t object when I sat in his lap. No, he wrapped his arms around me and let me rest myself against his chest.
“Can I stay here whilst I finish eating?” I asked.
“As my little Scar wishes.”