CHAPTER NINETEEN
Ash followed the verbal directions given to him, and arrived at his intended destination. There were only two people in the room, and they were huddled close together in a corner, holding each other’s hands tightly, conversing in hushed tones.
Quietly, he sat on a chair furthest from them. He didn’t want to announce his presence. It seemed like an intrusion at a time like this.
He had to admit that a small part of him—okay, a big part of him—still didn’t like seeing Brenna that close to Darren. Or any other man, for that matter. When it came to her, his possessive streak couldn’t help but act up.
But he was tolerating this vision of Brenna and Darren comforting each other. He’d accepted the fact that the two were friends and always would be. He was just relieved that Darren also had a girlfriend now. It made him breathe easier. Speaking of whom, he wondered where Monica was.
“Ash!”
“Hey,” he said, getting up and walking towards them.
“How long have you been sitting there?” Brenna asked, frowning and searching his face.
“I just got here.” He gave her a genuine smile, wordlessly telling her he wasn’t bothered by the scene he’d witnessed. And seriously, only an ass would be so misunderstanding.
Brenna smiled back and put her arms around his waist. “Thank you for coming.”
He squeezed her tight, kissing her temple. “Always.”
They let each other go and he went to give Darren a man-hug. “How are you holding up?” he asked.
Darren let out a huge sigh. “I’m a bundle of nerves at the moment. What do you think the chances are of this operation going badly, Ash? I mean, Mum has been quite sick already. Do you think her body will accept her new liver?”
“She’s being operated on by the best liver transplant surgeon in Australia, Darren. I’m sure everything’s going well. And post-operation, she’ll be looked after and monitored by a top team. She’s in good hands.”
Darren nodded, sitting down. “Whoever that person was who died in the car accident, I’m so grateful for her for being a donor,” he said, his eyes watering.
“We’re all grateful,” Brenna said softly.
“Darren!”
Sally rushed to her nephew, followed by two women. Brenna introduced them to Ash as Sally’s daughters.
“Where’s Monica?” Ash whispered to Brenna.
“She was in Canberra for work when Darren got the call that there was a compatible donor for Patty. She’s on her way back now.”
“How are you?” he asked, cupping Brenna’s face so he could inspect it properly for signs of stress.
She smiled serenely at him. “I’m okay. Nervous for Patty, but very glad.”
He gave her a quick peck. “I’m afraid I have to leave for the eye hospital in a few minutes. I have a cataract operation to perform.”
Brenna nodded.
“I assume you’re staying here with them?”
She nodded again. “I hope that’s okay with you?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” he said, smiling. “Did you drive here? I can pick you up later if you want.”
“No, I drove. I’ll see you at home tonight.”
“Okay.” He still got a thrill whenever Brenna called his place home.
*****
Ash stood in his roomy walk-in closet, surveying it with satisfaction. Brenna’s clothes were all unpacked now, and her stuff took about sixty percent of the closet space. He didn’t mind. And he knew he’d end up moving some more of his less-used things to the spare bedroom. Women always needed more room than men.
“Ash?” Brenna called.
“In here,” he answered.
Brenna appeared, her face alight.
“How’s Patty?” he asked, gathering her to him.
“The operation went well. She’ll be staying in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks, but the doctors don’t envisage any major problems.”
“That’s good news. It’s a great Christmas present for her and her family.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Brenna said. “Darren is gonna try and see if he can get in touch with the family of the donor—to extend his gratitude and condolences. We hope that their grief at losing their loved one will somehow be lessened by the knowledge that she'd saved a life."
Ash nodded solemnly.
“Will you go with me next time I visit Patty? She really likes you.”
“I’d love to. She’s a lovely woman,” he answered, hugging her tight.
“So what are you doing back here?”
“I realised that you have sixty percent of the closet space.”
“Are you trying to figure out how you could claim some of your space back? Unfortunately, Dr. Payne, if you want me here, you’re gonna have to learn to share.”
“Share? You’re right. What would you say is fair? Fifty-fifty?”
Brenna giggled. “I thought seventy-five/twenty-five was more the norm for couples, with the woman getting the lion’s share, naturally.”
“Seventy-five/twenty-five? Where did you get that figure from?”
“You’re not complaining, are you?” she asked, pressing herself against him.
He shook his head. Yes. Ashton Payne. Wrapped around Brenna Ward’s fingers. And no, he wasn’t complaining at all.
*****
“You have to give me a clue on what I’m looking for, Ash.”
“Like I said, babe, you’ll know it when you see it,” he answered, slitting open one of the boxes in his garage.
“What if this thing was in one of those boxes that Amanda and Connor went through last time? Are you sure they haven’t inadvertently chucked it away?”
“No. They would have known it was important if they saw it,” he answered.
“You’re intriguing the hell out of me,” Brenna complained. “Just one clue?”
“Patience, my love. Patience.”
*
Ash finished sorting through his box, replacing most of the contents back and labelling it with ‘donate’. Then he pushed it to a corner where the rest of the to-be-donated boxes were.
He went to stand behind Brenna and kissed her neck.
“Hey, none of that. I’m working here.”
“I distinctly remember that we created a rule. We kiss after finishing a box. Well, I’ve just finished one.”
Brenna twisted and gave him a quick smack on the lips. “There. Now get back to work. I’m on a mission to find this mysterious thing you intrigue me with.”
He chuckled, eyeing the five remaining boxes yet to be checked. He couldn’t believe that after more than three years, he was finally getting rid of them. He was also glad that Amanda and Connor hadn’t stumbled upon what he wanted Brenna to find. It was still hidden, waiting to be discovered.
He frowned. Surely it was here somewhere?
“What?” Brenna asked, noticing his expression.
“I do hope Mum packed it.”
“Well, she packed everything you didn’t, right? So it must be here.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I’m hoping we’ll be finished before dinner. I’m cooking for you tonight, remember?”
“You know I always look forward to your cooking, honey,” Brenna said. “But I’m not leaving this garage until I find it, whatever it is. And because you haven’t told me exactly what I’m supposed to be looking for, I’m checking each content thoroughly—even if it’s only a pencil case or a box of paper clips—to see if it’s special enough to be the mystery item. It’s taking forever!”
He laughed, knowing full well that Brenna was enjoying herself with this search.
He went to open a new box and was delighted to see it full of his old CDs. They included those he’d bought when he was still in his early teens. He started checking them, putting aside the ones with the songs he wanted to download to his devices later.
He was playing a tune in his head when he heard a sniff. He glanced at Brenna and saw her holding a piece of paper in one hand and dabbing a tear from the corner of her eye with the other.
His heart pounded. She’d found it.
Silently, he looked over her shoulder. The file he’d marked Important Medical Documents and had secured with a rubber band was open in front of her. The loose sheets which were inside it were all there for her to see. He was glad that Brenna was thorough and nosy enough to open that file and check it.
“You found it,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
Brenna swung around and threw her arms around him, sobbing softly.
He held her tight, kissing her hair repeatedly. When her sniffing had eased, he leaned back and wiped her face with his shirt.
“You’ve been writing poems for me since I was eighteen?” she asked.
He smiled. “I meant for them to be songs. I was big into listening to music then. But of course, I know nothing about creating melodies. So yeah, I guess you can call them poems instead.”
“There are several of them there,” she said, looking back at the open folder.
“Uh-huh. You probably haven’t gone through the ones at the bottom yet—I have them in date order. But the later ones are love letters. I’d become so busy with work that my brain simply couldn’t come up with nice rhymes. So I wrote you letters instead.”
“You’ve never shown them to me,” she said, tears returning.
He shook his head. “You know why, Bren. And since I couldn’t tell you how I felt in person, I found that writing about my feelings helped me cope with them. They’re the reason why I wouldn’t let anyone touch those boxes. I didn’t know where that file was. And I also hadn’t wanted to come across it myself.”
Brenna went back to check the sheets. “The last one is dated almost four years ago,” she observed.
He took a deep breath. “You were on one of your breaks with Darren. It was leading up to Christmas, and you were so devastated. So I took you to a Renoir exhibit at the Art Gallery to help you take your mind off things. We were looking at one of the paintings when you said out of the blue how much it sucked when someone you love didn’t appreciate you fully. I said that you need to move on from Darren, and that I appreciated you fully. And you said...”
“I said I was lucky to have you. That you were the best big brother anyone could ever have,” Brenna murmured, her lip trembling.
He nodded. “I said to myself then that it was time for me to find someone who’d love me back. It was nothing but sheer stupidity to be hanging on to the hope that you’d see me as a love interest. So I made a commitment to myself to move on. As you can tell, I wasn’t very good at keeping that commitment.”
“I’m so glad you weren’t,” Brenna said, hugging him fiercely. Then she lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I love you, Ash. So much. I might have been late in realising that, but now I can’t imagine loving anyone else but you. I’ve never felt this way before with anyone, not even Darren.”
His brows rose.
“It’s true,” Brenna said quietly. “It’s different with you. I find myself being swept away rather than feeling like I’m pushing uphill, which is what I felt with Darren most of the time. Darren and I cared for each other, and I think that’s why we tried our hardest. But the real magic just wasn’t there for us. But with you... the moment I opened my eyes to the thought of you and me as a couple, I felt like I was being pulled by some force I can’t define. You’re like my black hole, Ash Payne. You sucked me in and I can’t escape. And I don’t want to escape. You’re the only one I want to be with.”
“Oh, baby,” he murmured, his eyes stinging and his heart expanding so much it almost hurt.
He kissed her softly, tenderly, his spirit soaring as it flew hand in hand with Brenna far beyond the stratosphere.
“The next time you get mad at me,” he said against her lips, “remember I’m a black hole, not an asshole.”
They laughed together, and he knew his life would be full of love and laughter, as long as Brenna was there to share it with him.
Now he needed to figure out how he would ask her to spend the rest of their lives together.