Always(Time for Love Book 4)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

 

 

“Ash,” Brenna whispered, her heart squeezing tight. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him, but it seemed it was all she’d been doing lately. She shouldn’t have agreed with Darren to keep the engagement from Ash and her friends. Now the situation was worse than she’d ever imagined.

 

“When? How? Where?” Ash asked, almost whispering.

 

“About three weeks ago at the hospital, when they had to rush Patty there because of complications,” she answered.

 

“The day we were supposed to be going through the boxes in my garage,” he said, sounding crushed. “Around the time you stopped wanting to stay overnight at my place. I don’t understand this at all, Bren. I thought...”

 

She heard what sounded like a sniff. Her heart broke at his reaction, tears pricking her eyes. She’d expected that he’d be unhappy with the news, but she never thought he’d be this devastated. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you before, Ash. I’ll explain the whole thing later. But we should talk about this in private. I’m in an open-plan office,” she said, surreptitiously dabbing the corner of her eye.

 

There was silence on the other line.

 

“Ash? I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“I don’t think I can, Bren.”

 

“What do you mean?” she asked, her scalp pricking in fear.

 

“I need some time... I’ll call you,” he said.

 

“Ash,” she said pleadingly.

 

“Take care of yourself, Bren.” Then he hung up.

 

“Ash!” she said sharply. What the hell was that about? It sounded like... goodbye.

 

No. No!

 

*****

 

“I don’t know where he is, Amanda. I can’t reach him,” Brenna said over the phone, almost panicky.

 

“When was the last time you spoke with him?” Amanda asked, sounding worried.

 

“Yesterday. I was supposed to drive with him to work today. But he sent me a text late last night saying he had to leave real early so I should make my own way to the city. I called the clinic, but they said he’s uncontactable all day. Have you spoken to him?”

 

“He texted me last night and said he was busy with meetings, so I should talk to you about that invite. I was about to call you. You beat me to it.”

 

“What invite?”

 

Amanda paused. “The invite we all received. He talked to you about that, didn’t he?”

 

“No. What invite?” she repeated, realising there was more to Ash’s reaction than met the eye.

 

“What did you guys talk about, then?”

 

“My engagement to Darren,” she said in a low voice, so as not to be overheard by other people around her.

 

“Yeah, that was what the invite was about,” Amanda said, telling her the contents of the email from Jane.

 

“What?!” Brenna asked in horror. “You have got to be fu-cking kidding me!” She sank in her seat when she realised what she’d said with officemates busy working all around her. A couple of them smiled.

 

“Well, what on earth did the two of you discuss, apart from you getting engaged to Darren? How come the email never came up?” Amanda asked in confusion.

 

“I don’t know,” she said in a hush, almost whining. “He didn’t say anything about the email. He just asked if it was true that—” She clamped her mouth with a hand.

 

“That what was true?” Amanda prodded when she didn’t continue.

 

“He asked if it was true that Darren and I got engaged,” she whispered. “I said yes, but of course I meant it was a pretend engagement.”

 

“Of course it was a pretend engagement. What else could it—” Amanda gasped. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me that my genius brother who topped medical school thought that you really got engaged to Darren.”

 

They were both quiet for a long moment.

 

Brenna replayed her conversation with Ash in her head as best as she could remember. No, she hadn’t used the word ‘pretend’. It hadn’t even occurred to her that there was a need to mention that word.

 

“How could he even think it was for real, Amanda?” she asked, close to tears.

 

“Oh, honey. I guess when it comes to you, Ash thinks with his heart, not his brain. Unfortunately, when it comes to you and Darren, that heart has been bruised and battered repeatedly in the past. Ash’s default mode is probably to believe that you and Darren would get back together, especially with all this pretending you have to do. What’s more, this overreacting and being insecure about the person we love the most seems to run in our family,” Amanda added dryly.

 

Brenna had to smile at her friend’s last sentence, even if anger was fast rising within her. “At least you’re cured.”

 

“Connor’s love was my medicine. Your love is Ash’s, Bren. You just need to keep on forcing it down his throat to heal him of his ailments.”

 

Brenna took a deep breath. “I’m really mad right now, Amanda,” she said in a low voice. “Did he think I’d still be sleeping with him if I was really engaged to another guy?”

 

Amanda huffed. “Yes, that’s really stupid. How could he think that? I’m kind of mad at him, too.”

 

“Argh! This is driving me nuts!” she cried, wanting to scream in hurt and frustration right in the middle of her office.

 

Brenna understood that for Ash to heal, he needed to see that he was truly her first and foremost priority, before Darren or any other man. But the best proof she could think of was to stop pretending to be Darren’s girlfriend—err, fiancée. How could she do that without affecting Patty?

 

Gosh, she needed a voice of wisdom to guide her.

 

*****

 

“Thank you for seeing me, Magda,” Brenna said. “I’m sorry for turning up unannounced.”

 

“Don’t be silly, dear,” Magda said with a dismissive flick of her hand. “Come sit over there with me.”

 

Magda led her to a beautiful wrought iron bench under a magnolia tree in the massive garden of Magda’s primary residence.

 

“I’m assuming that since it’s Friday afternoon, you left work early to deal with problems of the heart?” Magda asked as they sat down.

 

Brenna flushed. “I don’t know what to do, Magda. I can’t see a solution to my problem that would give a satisfactory outcome to all concerned. I was hoping you could help me see things I’m not seeing.”

 

“Tell me what’s been happening so far,” Magda said.

 

She did, repeating some of the things she’d already told Magda when she last saw her at Zach and Bec’s pool party, and adding all the details that had happened since then. “I want to prove to Ash that he’s the one for me, not Darren. And I do want to stop all this pretension that Darren and I are doing. But I feel guilty about what it would do to Patty. And I know Ash would feel guilty too, if Patty were to be affected negatively because of a decision I made because of him.”

 

“What do you think is Patty’s motivation for wanting you and Darren to be together?”

 

“She wants someone to be there for Darren, primarily.”

 

“It seems that she likes you a lot. What was she like when you and Darren broke up the last time?”

 

“She was very disappointed, to say the least. She thought it was just another one of our breaks. But that time, Darren and I really saw that it was the end of the road for us. We’d tried our hardest for long enough. We knew we were better off apart.”

 

“Did Patty try again to bring the two of you back together?” Magda asked.

 

“She called me a couple of times. But I think she quickly realised we were serious about our decision. She left us alone after that, and we were only in contact with each other during important occasions like birthdays.”

 

“So if it weren’t for Darren not having anyone during this very trying time for them, she would probably still be okay with you and Darren not being together?”

 

Brenna thought about the question. “Yes, I’d say so.”

 

Magda grasped her hand. “Things like this are never easy. I admire you for being there for the both of them.”

 

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m glad I’m helping them in my own small way, Magda. But it seems hard for Ash to accept that Darren and I pretending to be together won’t lead to a reconciliation. And since I refuse to think that Patty will not get a donor in time, this pretense could go on for many more months. I just can’t see a way out.”

 

“Is all this making Darren happy?”

 

“He’s happy because Patty is happy. But this is hard for him too. He’s not free to be himself. He told me a few days ago he started seeing someone, but he couldn’t fully immerse himself in dating her because of this situation.”

 

“Ah, then that’s your answer,” Magda said.

 

She frowned, trying to figure out what Magda saw.

 

“If Darren is unhappy because he can’t be with the woman he wants, I doubt Patty would be happy. Isn’t Darren’s happiness and well-being her primary concern?”

 

Brenna nodded, hope starting to creep in. “But won’t she be devastated when she learns that we’ve been lying to her all along?”

 

Magda squeezed her hand. “Believe in the power of love, Brenna. Communicate to her from the position of love instead of fear. Trust that her love for her son will see her through. I’m sure she’ll understand why you did what you did.”

 

Brenna smiled, truly thankful for this amazing woman before her. “Rebecca and Sarah are really lucky to have you as their grandmother-in-law, Magda.”

 

Magda chuckled. “Come now, dear. Haven’t I already adopted you, Amanda and Gemma as my additional granddaughters? Please don’t treat yourself as an outsider in this family.”

 

“Thank you,” she said, her eyes watering with gratitude.

 

“Now, if only Gregory would get interested in settling down...” Magda said, actually pouting.

 

Brenna laughed. Magda always said that every time she saw her.

 

“Gemma’s a great girl,” Magda said. “If Greg doesn’t wake up to that, he might miss his chance completely.”

 

Brenna’s eyes widened. “Gemma and Greg?”

 

Magda sighed heavily. “Something’s brewing between those two, but they’re still oblivious to it. And I’m afraid my grandson will fight it all the way. Honestly, I don’t see what he sees in the single life.”

 

“Maybe we should simply trust that both Greg and Gemma will follow their hearts when their soulmates call,” Brenna said softly.

 

Magda smiled. “Now, that’s very wise.”

 

“It would be great if they end up together, though,” she mused, liking the thought of Greg and Gemma as a couple.

 

“It would. But you should concentrate on your problems first before getting distracted with other people’s issues,” Magda censured lightly.

 

“I will. Thank you, Magda. I think I’ll go see Darren now.”

 

*****

 

Brenna sat next to Patty in the lounge room, pleased to see the older woman looking relatively well.

 

“I’m glad you guys visited me tonight,” Patty said. “I didn’t think I’d see you until next weekend.”

 

Darren grabbed his mother’s hand, stroking it lovingly. “Mum, you know I love you, right?”

 

“Of course, darling,” Patty said.

 

“And you know Brenna loves you too?” Darren continued.

 

“Yes,” Patty said suspiciously, looking first at Darren, then Brenna with her brows furrowed.

 

Brenna tried to remain relaxed, focusing on sending Patty loving vibes. What she and Darren had to say to the sick woman wasn’t going to be easy.

 

“Oh, no,” Patty said. “You guys are breaking up again, aren’t you?”

 

Brenna exchanged glances with Darren.

 

“Mum, I know my happiness means a lot to you. If I’m unhappy, would you be okay with that?”

 

“No, of course not, Darren. Is this your way of telling me to be okay with the fact that you guys are no longer together?”

 

“Yes,” Darren said with a gulp.

 

Brenna rolled her eyes at him. “Patty,” Brenna said softly, taking Patty’s other hand. “Darren would do anything to make you happy. Do you know that?”

 

Patty nodded, her eyes round.

 

“Do you know that if you lose your hope and zest for life, it would make him lose his?”

 

Patty’s eyes widened even more, seeming to see that particular truth for the first time.

 

“It was hard for me to watch you be ill and not want to fight, Mum,” Darren said.

 

“I don’t want to be a burden to you,” Patty whispered.

 

“If you died because you gave up, instead of dying because it couldn’t be helped, it would be a big burden that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. I’d think I’d failed you.”

 

“Oh, Darren, please do not ever think that!” Patty cried. “I’m much happier now though, am I not? Because I see you happy?”

 

“Do you know that being with Brenna doesn’t make me happy?” Darren asked gently. “And Brenna feels the same way about me. We care about each other, but we’re not in love with each other.”

 

Brenna held her breath for Patty’s response, her heart pounding. To her immense surprise and relief, Patty nodded, a resigned smile forming on her face.

 

“I guessed there was something amiss when the two of you refused to get an engagement ring,” Patty said.

 

“You’re okay with this, right, Mum?” Darren asked hopefully.

 

Patty smiled. “Darling, why would I want you—the two of you—to stick with each other if you don’t love each other? I’ve been worried about how you were coping with my illness so soon after your dad’s death. As long as you promise me that you won’t hold your life back for me, Darren, even though you want to look after me, then I won’t worry.”

 

Darren’s eyes misted. “I promise, Mum.”

 

Patty turned to Brenna. “How are you with all this, Brenna?”

 

Brenna smiled serenely, letting Patty see her relief. “I’m fine, Patty. Thank you.”

 

“There's something else, Mum,” Darren said.

 

Brenna and Darren told Patty the whole truth, both of them letting her know that their actions were born out of love and concern for her.

 

Patty’s expression was horrified. “Oh, my darlings. You shouldn’t have.”

 

“It’s all my fault, Mum,” Darren said.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Patty whispered.

 

“Oh, Patty, why are you sorry?” Brenna chastised. “Please see what we did for you as a gift to make you feel better. Please.”

 

“Okay,” Patty said, tears choking her. “Thank you.”

 

“Um, and there’s another thing, Mum,” Darren said.

 

“There’s more?” Patty asked. “Oh, Lord, I don’t know how many more surprises I can take tonight,” she said, looking up to the heavens.

 

Brenna grinned. She knew Patty would be okay.

 

“I want to introduce you to someone I’m going out with,” Darren said shyly, flushing a little.

 

Brenna almost laughed out loud. Darren blushing? This new girl must be someone really special.

 

“You have a girlfriend?” Patty asked with restrained glee. “A real one?”

 

Darren laughed. “Yes, a real one.”

 

“Oh, thank God,” Patty said, slumping back in her seat.

 

Darren’s face went alight, his relief obvious. He looked at Brenna and mouthed ‘thank you’.

 

She nodded, smiling.

 

“What about you, Brenna? Are you going out with someone?” Patty queried.

 

The smile faded from Brenna’s face.