“Nothing happened.”
“What’s this other girl’s name?”
“Doris Winslow,” Magnus said, surprised. “When the devil did you find out about her?”
“Just now. But I’d have to have been an idiot not to guess what happened when you came down to breakfast. You couldn’t look at each other, and you were always so comfortable before.” He said comfortable like it was a contagious disease. “I presumed there might be another young woman. You are the lowest kind of filth.”
“I never, ever thought it would go so far.” Magnus sounded disgusted, but I didn’t think with me. “The champagne loosened me up. It’s not an excuse.”
“I should never have sent her home with you. It was like having a wolf nanny a lamb.”
“Howel is surprisingly capable of looking after herself.”
“You could have ruined her life.”
“It won’t happen again,” Magnus said softly.
“And nearly getting that boy sacked.”
“I saved the day there, thank you so much. He’ll be fine.”
“Understand this, Magnus. She is worth ten of you, in every respect, and I will destroy you if you harm her again.” That surprised me.
“You’ve certainly changed your opinion. It’s a waste of time, Blacky. She’s no interest in you; she told me so.” I winced with embarrassment. “Besides, it would be the talk of the town. The great Earl of Sorrow-Fell taking up with some low-blooded girl. Low-blooded was your own term, remember, not mine.” Magnus’s voice was warm with anger.
“Don’t remind me of that,” Blackwood snapped. “I’m not in love with her, but I can see her value.”
“Always about value with you, isn’t it? Why don’t you grow a personality? You’re like a shambling ghost, curdling everyone’s blood whenever you walk into a room.”
“At least I don’t spend my time seducing innocent young women.”
“Someone’s been reading novels again. What’s the title of this one? The Poxy Lordling and the Aggressive Milkmaid?” Magnus sighed. “I tried to leave her alone, but I can’t help myself. She teases me in just the right way—”
Blackwood made a disgusted noise. “I don’t care. Unless you want an enemy, Magnus, leave her alone.”
“Like you did, when she attended that school of yours?” The wall trembled, as if someone had been thrown against it. There was a flash of fire. An instant later Blackwood raced past me, slapping at the smoking sleeve of his coat. “Handing down orders like you were God Almighty,” Magnus called, rubbing the back of his head while he came around the corner. “No wonder nobody likes you, Blackwood.”
“I’m not here to be liked,” Blackwood snapped, heading into the house. “I’m here to do what’s needed.” Magnus stood for a moment, watching him go.
“I know you’re there, Howel.” Blast. I shrank even further into the dark. “You needn’t worry. I won’t tell anyone what happened. I really think they’d kill Rook if they ever found out.” He sounded frightened. “But for all our sakes, I hope you know what you’re doing.” With that, he followed Blackwood into the house.
The butler met me in the hall, instructing me to see Agrippa immediately. Entering the library, I found him in the worst possible mood. His face was bright red with anger, and the veins on his neck bulged as he shouted at me.
“How dare you attack a fellow sorcerer? How dare you leave my house under such circumstances without asking my permission.” His rage almost sent me to the floor. “You ungrateful girl, if anyone knew half of what had occurred, they’d have you out of London by tonight!”
“I’m sorry,” I said, my eyes cast down.
“You attacked me. Me, of all people. I brought you into my house. I fed you, looked after you as if you were my own. I treated you like you were my—” He paused, as if to swallow the unspoken word. “I have never in my life seen such selfish, wretched behavior.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Now you will go upstairs and stay in your room until I’ve decided what’s to be done. Do you hear me? Set one foot outside before I return, and there’ll be the devil to pay.”
“It was an accident.” My throat tightened. “My emotions got the better of me.”
“Get upstairs now!” Agrippa threw open the door, and I ran. The boys called to me, but I wouldn’t answer. Once inside my room, I sat on the bed and stared at the fire. Agrippa hadn’t given Porridge back after I’d dropped it in the obsidian room.
When Cellini had attacked me, they’d taken his stave. The pain of losing Porridge, the mere idea of it, threatened to crush me.
This would be the end, for Rook and for me. Rook. I’d destroyed his hope of relief from the power that plagued him. I’d ruined his chance of security. Heavy with misery, I fell across the bed, closed my eyes, and slept.
—
R’HLEM HELD OUT HIS HAND. “IT’S been some time,” he said. I’d neglected Fenswick’s herbs on purpose. I had wanted this meeting. The mist grew so thick I couldn’t see the room.
“You can’t have a great deal to do,” I muttered, heading to my window. “Popping into my head every so often.”
“I can do many things at once. Why do you want me here?”
I pressed my forehead to the glass. “I don’t know.”
R’hlem ushered me aside and gently unlatched the window. Outside, the streets of London had disappeared. My bedroom perched on the edge of a cliff. The fall stretched before me, seemingly endless. This terrain was unfamiliar, a desert of pink-and-red rock, the earth barren and cracked. A crimson sun broiled above me. Great black creatures with leathery wings cavorted through the sky.
“I want to go home.” I rubbed my eyes. This had been a mistake.
“There is no home for you, is there? I cannot read your mind, but I can guess your thoughts. You live at the mercy of other people.” His voice was soothing and gentle, at complete odds with his appearance. I gazed out the window. In the valley below, the other Ancients walked.
Molochoron rolled, of course, a pulsing mass of moldy gray.
On-Tez, with that grotesque old woman’s head upon a black vulture’s body, soared through the fever-orange sky.
There was Callax. He was so large and bulky with muscle that it didn’t surprise me when he crushed a thick ledge of rock with the effort one might use on an eggshell.
Zem slithered by with his long, sleek lizard’s body. A giant frill fanned out about his head, and he breathed a stream of fire and noxious vapor.
Nemneris, the green-and-purple Water Spider, climbed the side of the cliff to fashion a giant, hideous web.
And there was Korozoth, the old Shadow and Fog.
“Poor child.” R’hlem didn’t sound like a hideous beast. “You need someone to look after you.”
I realized why I’d wanted him to come. My time at Agrippa’s house was over. Hargrove had gone to America. Who would help me now? R’hlem offered his hand again. I finally understood what made ordinary humans flock to him, transform themselves into Familiars. There was safety in service and obedience. And R’hlem was a charismatic leader….
No. My problems were my own. However hard the road ahead, I would walk it.
“Goodbye,” I whispered, and tipped forward out the window, off the cliff.
—
THANK GOD FOR THE KNOCKING AT my door. Bleary-eyed, I stared out the window and found it pitch black. The knock came again. Agrippa stood at the threshold, still wearing his cloak and hat.
“I’ve thought a few things through,” he said. My stomach lurched. Slowly, he brought his hand out from behind his back, holding my stave. “All’s well, my dear. If you apologize to Magnus, I see no reason to drag this out.” His eyes glistened with tears. He seemed as relieved as I.
I threw my arms around him, not caring how improper it might be. He clasped me back as I sobbed into his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” I cried.
He petted my hair. “It was an accident. Accidents can be forgiven.”
R’hlem was right. I did live at the mercy of others. But come tomorrow night, I’d have a true home in the sorcerers’ fellowship. There was a path before me, and I would follow it.