With the young men gone, Eliza turned to me. “I’ve had a delicious thought. Once you’re commended, we can design a Howel seal. No one’s designed a new sorcerer’s seal in ages, so it’ll be marvelous! Are you partial to unicorns?”
“Not really,” I said with a smile.
“Oh. Well, just a small one, then.”
At some point, we were obliged to take our seats in Blackwood’s box. We’d a good view of the stage. Men and women squinted through small pairs of opera glasses to better watch the play, and to better watch one another. I wondered, uncomfortably, if any eyes turned toward our box. I craned my neck to look up at the domed ceiling, at the crystal chandelier, at the red velvet drapes and the magnificent painted screen in front of the stage. I could never have imagined such a place, and I was so overwhelmed I scarcely read my program. As the lights dimmed, small, mothlike creatures fluttered down before us. I almost swatted them with Eliza’s fan.
“Don’t,” she whispered, “they’re usher faeries.” Indeed, upon closer inspection I noticed the small human creatures attached to those wings. The one in front of me shook its silver-blond hair and giggled, a thin, almost inaudible sound. The faeries flew to the stage, and the play began.
I enjoyed every moment. The four lovers were hilarious, though I found Helena stupid with all her crying and screaming. Titania and Oberon, the faerie king and queen, were so beautiful it practically hurt. Titania’s skin glowed even when she stood far away from the lights.
At some point in the play, an unfortunate man named Bottom was given the head of a donkey. The faeries actually turned the actor’s head into an animal’s. The audience shrieked as the donkey brayed at us, a bit hard to understand with his mulish lips. Puck, a boy with green skin and leaves for hair, appeared and disappeared in the laps of several audience members. He even materialized in our box, kissing Eliza’s hand and swiping a rose from me. Magnus swung to get it back, but Puck vanished.
“It’s all right,” I said. Magnus had had too much to drink, and frankly so had I. What a delicious experience champagne was! What was I on, my third glass? Magnus put his lips to my ear.
“He should have kissed your hand. You’re the most beautiful girl in London tonight,” he whispered. My whole body felt warm, somehow heavier.
Puck, at the end of the play, appeared before us on the stage. “If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended.”
Magnus leveled his stave at the actor.
“What are you doing?” I snapped.
“Steal a rose from you, will he? I’ll give him roses.” He aimed at one of the candles, and the leaves on top of Puck’s head caught fire. Everyone screamed. The little faerie squealed and beat at his hair to put them out. Once he’d done so, he pointed to our box.
“Sorcerers! You behave yourselves, you drunken reprobates!” The theater erupted in laughter and applause.
Pointing his stave toward the ceiling, Magnus yelled, “For Her Majesty!” The boys and I all joined him (except Blackwood, naturally). The audience cheered. I had never felt so alive or wonderful.
With the play ended, Blackwood ushered me aside, grabbing my arm when I stumbled. “You’re drunk, Miss Howel.”
“I am perfectly all right.” Really, he shouldn’t look at me with such horror. I only tripped because the carpet was uneven.
“I’m taking you home. If anyone saw, your reputation would be damaged.”
“Don’t need a reputation.” I stared at his shoes. They were lovely shoes.
“I want to get smashed, too,” Eliza whispered.
“Eliza, be quiet. Put your head down, Miss Howel, and we’ll—”
“Keep your hair on, George. I’ll take her home,” Magnus said, settling my wrap around me. “I can hold my liquor. You’ve got your sister to see back.”
Blackwood nodded. “Fine. Be careful, the both of you.” He escorted Eliza away. She waved to me and flashed a look at Magnus.
“Thank you, Father,” Magnus grumbled. Snickering, we stole off, tripping once on my skirt.
—
WE CLIMBED OUT OF THE CARRIAGE, singing funny songs about fish. The butler looked less than pleased as we stumbled inside. “Shall I send Lilly up, Miss Howel?”
“I’ll ring her when I’m ready. Thank you.” Magnus and I clomped up the stairs. I held out my hand to shake. “G’night. Sleep well.”
He kissed my hand, never taking his eyes from mine. “Good night, Howel.”
That warm, liquid feeling returned. I walked to my room, trying to clear my head. I’d just gotten to my door when I heard a noise and turned. Magnus was behind me.
“What is it?” My voice sounded hoarse.
“I forgot something,” he said. His eyes had the strangest light.
“What?”
He put his hands to my waist. I gasped, but he held me. He brought his lips to the corner of my mouth and kissed me.
“Wait,” I said. He pulled back.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it? I’ll leave, if you wish.”
That was exactly what he needed to do. There was Rook upstairs, the commendation, the war.
“Stay.” For a moment, I couldn’t believe what I’d said. Take it back. Now. But his kiss…
He slid his arms around me, brought his lips to the other corner of my mouth. I groaned as I turned to catch him, but he cupped my face in his hand, holding me in place. Gently, he pressed his lips to mine, only for an instant. I leaned forward, burning for more.
“Please,” I said, the world swimming before me. This was so wrong, so disastrously wrong, but at the moment all I could do was feel how warm he was against me, how soft his mouth was.
“Oh my darling,” he whispered, and kissed me again, harder this time. I ran my fingers through his hair. He kissed my neck, breathed against the hollow of my throat, and nipped my bare shoulder. Every molecule inside me exploded with light and heat. Magnus kissed my eyelids and then returned to my mouth. “To hell with all this,” he whispered.
The hall spun. I heard my bedroom door close, and he pressed me against his body so that we lined up perfectly with each other. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered into my ear, sending small signals of fire running down my spine. “You’ve wanted it, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” I said. Now I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I couldn’t seem to stop. It was like when I set myself on fire, the spark giving birth to a full blaze. I trailed kisses along his jaw. He groaned and pulled me closer.
“You’re an adventurous creature, aren’t you?” His voice was rough, his breathing harsh. He ran his hands down my back.
“I don’t know,” I whispered as he kissed my neck. It felt as if I were running down a steep hill, my heart pounding with exhilaration. I made him look at me, traced my fingertips over his face and through his hair. Touching him was overwhelming. Did all people find kissing this intoxicating?
“You are adventurous,” he murmured. I felt the flicker of his tongue as our kiss deepened. He touched my hair, cried out, and brought his hand away with blood welling on the tip of a finger. “How the devil—?”
“The roses? We missed a thorn,” I said, half afraid he would stop. He laughed as he pulled the flowers out of my hair and kissed me again. My feet left the ground. I was lying down now, the canopy above me whirling. Magnus pulled my skirt up inch by inch, revealing my leg—
“No!” I yelled. I pushed him away, rolled off the bed, and fell to my hands and knees. No amount of alcohol would make me forget myself that much. I staggered to my feet and hung on to the bedpost. Magnus sat up, his hair rumpled.
“What are you doing?” I asked. What was I doing? How had we got here so quickly?
“I thought—well, weren’t we going to?”
“No, for God’s sake.” I could barely speak the words.
“But what else are we supposed to do?” He sounded confused.
“That is something you save for marriage.”
“But, my darling,” he said, as if I were slow, “you know I can’t marry you.”
“Excuse me?” The drunken effects vanished. I’d never been more aware of anything.
“You know I’m engaged to be married.”