Blackwood lowered his head onto my knee, almost as if he were melting in relief. I slid down to sit beside him. We looked into the fire together.
“I was wrong about you,” he whispered. “At first I saw you merely as a pain to be endured. But now you’re the only person in this entire house who could understand me.” He wasn’t wrong. We were similar people, keeping vast and terrible secrets from the world. “For the first time in a long time, I’ve wanted someone to think well of me.”
He’d shown me his soul. To be worthy of that, I had to be honest.
“I’m not a sorcerer,” I said. “Mickelmas told me my father was a magician and had my fire abilities. I’m not special. I’m not your prophesied one.”
It should have hurt. It should have been terrible. But all I felt was a sweet, calming relief in telling the truth.
He considered this. “The prophecy called for a girl-child of sorcerer stock. Magicians are descendants of sorcerers. Perhaps that’s what it meant.” A flare of desperation showed; he needed to be certain of my status.
“Mickelmas believes the Speakers wouldn’t make such an error.”
“You can use a stave.”
“I’m a mix of both races, but I was born a magician. You have to know the truth.” My heart pounded as I waited for his reply.
He was silent a moment. Then he said, “We need you. That’s what’s important. The rest is titles.” Gently, he took my hand in his own. It wasn’t a romantic gesture; it was deeper than that.
We sat side by side, our burdens eased, if not lifted.
—
WE WERE SILENT AT BREAKFAST, BUT nothing happened. No letter arrived. Agrippa didn’t leap out of his chair, point at Blackwood, and shout, Off with his head! All Agrippa did was ask for more marmalade. I thought Blackwood would faint by the end of the meal. I didn’t feel much better myself.
I wanted to call on Palehook and find out what was happening, but the day’s preparations made that impossible. Almost as soon as we were done eating, we went through a brief, final round of training, and then began the absorbing task of scrubbing and dressing.
The household was in a bustle of activity all day, with the boys looking for their hats or wondering if their boots were correctly polished or wishing they could grow a proper beard.
Lilly bathed and powdered and primped me until I felt I would run mad. She shoved pins into my hair, scratching my scalp so that my eyes watered. As dusk began to creep into the sky, there was a knock at the bedroom door. Eliza entered with a parcel.
“There. I threatened Madame Voltiana with ruin if she didn’t have this ready by tonight,” she said before flinging herself on my bed in a most dramatic fashion. “You’ll have to relay every delicious detail to me afterward. I’m not allowed at the ball until next year, when I’m sixteen. Tonight I’m to sit home with Mamma and sigh before the fire.”
I opened the package and uncovered the most beautiful gown, intricately stitched gold lace filigree over a white satin base, with a capelike train fastened at the shoulders. The skirt was voluminous, taking up the entirety of the bed. I shook my head, overcome. It was a work of art.
“Eliza, it’s too beautiful.”
“Of course it is. I chose it.”
Lilly ran her hands over the fine work. “Oh, let’s put it on now!” she cried, grabbing fistfuls of the gown.
“Aren’t you a dear?” Eliza cooed, satisfied with such enthusiasm.
I’d one last thing to do. Leaving the girls alone with the cherished dress, I raced upstairs to the servants’ quarters, down the long hallway to Rook’s door. I tried to turn the handle, but of course it had been locked.
“Hello?” he said, his voice faint.
“Rook, it’s me. How are you?”
A pause. “I’m well, Nettie. Resting. Are you on your way to the ball, then?”
“Yes, nearly. Next time we speak, I may be one of Her Majesty’s sorcerers.” I laid my hand on the door, imagining I could simply melt through the wood and into the room.
“You’ll have the life you always should have had.” It sounded as if he was describing that life without him.
“You’ll come with me, Rook. We’re going to get control of this.”
“Yes.” He didn’t sound convinced. If only I could see him.
“I’m sorry for what happened.”
“So am I. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” He sounded afraid. “That’s all I seem to do now.” There was a moment so silent I thought he’d ended the conversation, but then he whispered, “Is anyone nearby?”
“No. What is it?”
“What Mr. Magnus said about…was he telling the truth?”
I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the door. I could just lie to him. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Oh, I see,” he murmured. I could almost sense that he’d put his own forehead against the door, much in the same way. I looked down and found his shadow stretching into the hall, reaching for me. With a gasp, I pushed away. “I’m sorry,” he cried. The shadow slunk back under the door. There was a weak thump, as if he’d beat his fist against the wood. “I’m trying so hard.”
“Rook.”
“Be careful tonight. My scars hurt again.” With that, I heard him move away.
The carriages drew up through the gates and into an enormous courtyard. They delivered us before the palace, white and elegant in appearance, like a wedding cake. Red-liveried guards stood at attention. A wigged footman ran to our carriage and lowered the step. I dropped to the ground and gazed up in wonder.
“Come along,” Blackwood whispered.
They announced us into a ballroom shining with candles and chandeliers. I waited on Master Agrippa’s arm, as frightened as I’d been the day we’d faced the Familiars on the hillside. They announced the Duke of Buckingham, Lady Evelyn Rochester, and then: “Master Cornelius Agrippa and Miss Henrietta Howel.”
As we descended the stairs, I heard whispers passing among hundreds of people, with so many eyes on me. The gold filigree caught the light and glowed as I moved through the crowd. It looks like fire, I realized. Eliza had been cunning in her choice of dress. I kept my face an indecipherable mask, just as Blackwood had instructed. Eventually, the rest of the boys joined us, and Agrippa excused himself to discuss something with the Earl of Southampton.
“You feel it, don’t you?” Dee whispered while elegant men and women glided past, their eyes sweeping over us. “The whole of society is going to pay attention now, notice every little thing we do.”
“I thought you’d be better adjusted to the idea.” I wished I had a spell that turned me invisible.
“No, I don’t really like London. If I had my way, I’d go back to my grandmother’s estate in Lincolnshire and just worry over the cottages and the gardens. I’m not much for society. Not like Magnus.”
Indeed, Magnus appeared completely comfortable with a glass of punch in his hand. He laughed and flirted with a young woman in a white dress—yet another conquest—and I looked away.
Eventually, Dee and I were dragged into conversation with Palehook.
“We expect the pleasure of your abilities soon, Miss Howel. I believe the war shall run smoothly with you officially on our side.” Palehook didn’t smile. I noticed that he appeared sallow and sweaty. He coughed a good deal, and his eyelids were swollen and rimmed in pink.
“Are you well, Master Palehook?”
“I’ve been unwell. Thank you for inquiring. I believe it may have something to do with how much energy I spend in maintaining the ward. Korozoth, you know, exhibits such a forceful attack.”
“The ward is growing thinner, isn’t it?”
He smiled thinly. “It’s through no fault of mine, I assure you.” Dee went to get some more punch. I seized my opportunity.
“Why haven’t you informed all the Masters about Lord Blackwood?” I asked. That certainly surprised him.
“Has Lord Blackwood made mention of our disagreement?”
“He’s told me everything. What are you planning?”