“Katashi has my mother.” His shoulders tensed.
“He’s been her mentor for thirty years,” I said, unable to keep the stress from my words. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think she’s in danger.” I hated that. And I hated that I hated that. I didn’t want her to be in danger. But I also didn’t want her to be so close to Katashi.
“He’s not soft.”
“No,” I said. “But he rewards loyalty.”
He stared out the window. “Especially if it fits his plan.”
Chapter 24
Idris made a quick call to Bryce to tell him things didn’t go as planned but everyone survived—in about as many words. Aside from that, the ride back to the house remained devoid of conversation.
The quiet gave me way too much time to obsessively review the entire incident. I ached for a nugget of information that would miraculously reverse what happened to me or give me a shred of hope that the effect was temporary. When that line of thinking grew too frustrating, I gave myself a headache by trying to sense the arcane, mentally “squinting” into a spectrum I could no longer see.
But at least I didn’t feel the need to puke anymore. Woo.
Pellini pulled up to the gate and hit the button on the remote. I straightened. “Y’know, we should go to the store while we’re out. We need laundry detergent.”
Eilahn put a hand on my arm. “Enough detergent remains for forty-three normal loads. Your request is irrational.” She opened her door as I scowled at her response. I really really wanted to go to the store. Why was that irrational? “Remain in the vehicle,” she commanded, stepping down from the truck. “Vincent Pellini will drive behind me.” With that, she closed the door and walked toward the gate.
My annoyance gave way to bafflement. “What the hell?”
Idris grimaced. “Aversion wards. They’re attuned to you.”
“Of course they are,” I began, then my heart sank. I cast a despairing look at Idris. “No. They were. They were attuned to the me who had an arcane signature. They don’t recognize me as me.” Because I wasn’t “me” anymore.
Pellini winced and muttered a curse but kept watching Eilahn as she worked. Idris let out a heavy breath then climbed out to help her. I dropped my head back against the seat, gut aching as if I’d been sucker-punched. The urge to do random shopping eased as Eilahn and Idris reworked the wards, but left sick emptiness in its wake.
Pellini followed the pair to the house, parked and killed the engine. He looked at me with worry, but Eilahn bundled me out of the truck before he could speak. Idris set out toward the backyard without a word to anyone.
“You will take a long bath,” Eilahn told me. “That always lifts your mood and helps you relax.”
Pellini headed into the house. I paused at the bottom of the steps and struggled without success to see the warding, to feel the nexus.
Eilahn nudged me forward, and this time I didn’t resist.
Pellini was already in the kitchen when I entered, and Jill and Bryce sat at the table.
“There’s meatloaf on the stove,” Jill said to Pellini. Her eyes rested on me, gaze filled with deep concern. She knew me too damn well to miss that I was a wreck.
I couldn’t stomach the idea of rehashing the nightmare with the others. “You should go to the nexus,” I murmured to Eilahn. “I’ll take a bath.” She offered no protest, a clear indicator of her exhaustion. After escorting me to the bathroom, she trudged down the hall and out the back door.
I closed and locked the bathroom door, started the water and shed my clothes. Scars still covered my torso, hideous remnants of sigils I could no longer sense. I twisted to look in the mirror at the small of my back. Szerain had activated the twelfth sigil there—the only one that wasn’t a scar anymore. It should have glowed a gorgeous sapphire blue.
Nothing. Not a glimmer. Was it simply invisible to me, or had it been deactivated along with my arcane ability?
Straightening, I stared at my reflection. The sight of the scars destroyed the last thread of my stoic fa?ade. If I have to lose my abilities, why couldn’t these terrible things go as well?
Stupid question. Because that’s how shit goes for me.
Lower lip trembling, I stepped into the tub and slid down. The water was only a few degrees shy of scalding, but I barely noticed the sting of it. Eyes closed, I steeled myself to test what I’d put off, dreading the answer. “Mzatal,” I whispered. Even with him withdrawn, I’d always been able to sense his presence when I tried. I opened my eyes, called to him, mentally reached.
Mzatal.
Nothing.
Mzatal.