It took him only a second to grasp my meaning. “Damn. I didn’t know that was possible.” His mouth twisted in thought. “They wanted you neutralized, not dead.” He exhaled. “Then again, with Rhyzkahl’s and Szerain’s influence on you along with Kadir’s, it’s safer for everyone now. Even you.”
For a moment I couldn’t breathe, shocked to my core as much by the casual delivery of the comment as the words themselves. Would he be this casual if they’d killed me? Gee, that’s too bad, but at least we’re all safer.
Pellini’s hands spasmed tight on the steering wheel. “You’d best turn your ass around and keep your mouth shut for a little while, son,” he ordered. Idris opened his mouth to respond, but I found my voice first.
“Did you just say . . .” My voice shook so much I had trouble getting the words out. I shoved to sit more upright and tried again. “Did you just say it’s fine and cool that I’ve lost my arcane ability because it’s safer?”
He scowled. “Sure. For now. You’re not a player anymore.” His tone was patronizing, as if I was an emotional idiot to be so worked up instead of seeing the bigger picture. “You won’t be a target, and they can’t use you. It buys us a little breathing room.” He finished with a there-you-go shrug that sent my fury spiraling higher.
“You arrogant, unfeeling asshole!” I sputtered. “Would you say the same thing if I’d been blinded? Because that’s what it feels like. That’s what it is!”
“Blinded?” he said, incredulous. “Give me a break, Kara. It’s not the same thing at all. I get that it sucks, but at least some good comes of it.”
Gravel crunched under the tires as Pellini pulled the truck onto the shoulder and threw it into park, but I barely heard it over the hammering of my pulse. “And it’s cool that you still have all your skills,” I said through ragged, uneven breaths, “because you’re so perfect and untouched and uninfluenced?”
“I never said I was perfect,” Idris retorted, face flushed, “but I’ve been cleared by Mzatal and Elofir.”
Agonizing rage tore at my essence. “Cleared?” I let out a harsh sound—more sob than laugh. Loss and betrayal goaded me on. “You’re hauling around more influence than everyone in this truck put together considering Rhyzkahl’s your dad!”
Idris gave me a withering look. “That’s the best insult you can come back with?”
“Enough of this bullshit!” Pellini snapped. “I’m taking Kara home.” He leveled a black glare at Idris. “You either shut up or get out and walk.”
But my reply spewed out. “We’re cousins,” I snarled at Idris. “I have the DNA results to prove it. My aunt was manipulated to think her baby was stillborn. But he wasn’t. He arrived after she spent time in the demon realm. With Rhyzkahl.”
Silence descended. Idris glared at me, a heartbreaking range of emotions galloping through his eyes. After several tense seconds he flung open the door, climbed out and slammed it, then strode off down the highway shoulder.
Pellini muttered a stream of obscenities under his breath and killed the engine. “My goddamn truck better be here when I get back,” he said then pulled himself out and started after Idris.
Two seconds later I opened my door and vomited onto the gravel, dry heaving when nothing more came up. After a moment the nausea faded, and my rage drained away with it, leaving me empty and cold. My cheeks were wet, but I didn’t know when I’d started crying. Nice going, Kara.
Shaking, I pushed myself upright and closed the door. I made a tentative mental reach for Mzatal but pulled back when I felt nothing. I didn’t have it in me to extend and try again. Not now. Couldn’t face that possible loss yet.
I abruptly realized Eilahn had gone silent and unmoving, and a fresh wave of misery settled over me. Had she known about Rhyzkahl and Idris? I found it difficult to believe she had, not that it mattered at this point. I wouldn’t blame her one bit for being furious at me for blurting that out. Even if she wasn’t, I was angry and upset enough at myself for both of us. “Eilahn?” I said tentatively. “Are you okay?”
“I am well, Kara Gillian,” she replied, voice steady and without the faintest hint of anger. She was disturbed, though. I’d known her long enough to recognize how unease manifested in her human form. A faint crease between her eyebrows. Her lower lip jutting out ever so slightly. No. She hadn’t known.
I lowered the window, suddenly desperate for air or a breeze or maybe a tornado that could suck me up and away from all of this. A few seconds later Eilahn lowered the window on her side, though her forehead remained creased.