She sighs and throws herself back against the seat.
She's quiet for a while before speaking again. “Have you ever had sex?”
My foot slips off the gas pedal. “What? Mother of God, Silvia, can we never talk about this, ever?”
“I'm just curious.”
“That isn't something you just ask people.” I choke back the disgust rising in my throat.
She turns in her seat to face me. “I should be able to ask you anything.”
“No. No, you should not.”
Silence fills the car. I hope that we don't have to speak again until this trip is over.
But after a while Silvia opens her mouth. “Do you think it's better with someone you care about?”
I know she means me. I know she means us. But my thoughts go to Syd. The way her hands feel working me over. Her gasps and shudders, and the look afterward, like she will never leave my side.
“Yes,” I say, “it's definitely better with someone you care about.”
***
We roll into Albuquerque around five in the morning. The sun is starting to peek up, and I've had enough of Silvia's just-about-to-ask-something expression. She's brainstorming hard, and I rarely like the aftermath.
I turn off the highway and pull into the parking lot of a hotel.
Silvia blinks. “What are we doing here?”
“We're going to sleep,” I say. “You'll be able to take that shower, too.”
She gazes at the hotel, one of those places that probably doesn't even have a name. “It looks haunted.”
“Just because it doesn't have valet parking doesn't mean it has poltergeist.” I laugh as she continues to stare at the windows. “Let's go see what they have available.”
I step out, and she follows me into the lobby and to the front desk.
“Need two rooms.” I start to pull out my wallet.
Silvia slaps her J.P. Morgan Palladium credit card onto the counter. “One room.”
I look at her.
“Two beds,” she says, as if assuring me. Then she raises her eyebrow at the clerk.
He glances at me, and I shrug. “The princess has spoken.”
He gives an appreciative laugh, because he thinks I'm joking. He checks us in, and then we return to car for our luggage. At least she didn't ask for a bellhop.
She grabs up two of her bags and wanders toward the back of the hotel. She takes in everything as she goes, like we're in freakin' Wonderland.
I grab her other bag and my own, slam the trunk, and follow after her. Our room is on the second floor. She unlocks the door and props it open for me with her foot.
It is self-aware, after all.
As I drop the luggage between the beds, she crosses the room to the balcony doors.
“It looks like Phoenix,” she says with a hint of disappointment, gazing at the purple mountain skyline.
I take the bags from her and add them to the pile. “We're still in the desert, and will be for some time. Why don't you go wash up?”
She turns and heads to the bathroom without a word.
I get the feeling this road trip isn't all her excitable little mind had anticipated.
A while later, I'm staring blankly at something on the TV, and she emerges from the bathroom showered and dressed in loose pajamas. She crawls into bed under the covers. Her gaze fixes on me. Again. I've never been able to figure out what she's thinking when she does that. I probably don't want to know.
I toss my bag onto my bed and unpack clean clothes. We have a full day of driving ahead of us when we wake, and I don't intend to make any more stops than necessary.
Silvia speaks out of nowhere. “Can we have pancakes before we leave?”
I glance at her. “Uh, sure?”
“Thanks, Dim.” A little smile slides onto her lips.
Her eyes close, and she's asleep before I even head for the shower. I expect her to be awake when I get out, but she doesn't stir as I turn off the lights and settle into my bed. My body melts against the mattress. I consider texting Syd, but my phone is in my jeans pocket across the room and I'm too tired to get back up.
I'm not sure what to say to her anyway.
***
My eyes flutter open. Sunlight oozes around the edges of the curtains drawn over the balcony door, but does little to fill the room.
Silvia is sitting on the floor next to my bed, resting her head against her arm on the mattress.
I nudge her shoulder. “Silv?”
She looks up, blinking, and settles her chin on her wrist.
“What's up?” I prop myself on my elbows, trying to clear my head. “Bad dream?”
She doesn't reply, but pushes up onto the mattress.
She's naked.
“Holy shit.” I put my arm out to block her as she crawls up next to me. “What the hell are you doing?”
She gazes down at me, a small contemplative frown on her lips. “I don't want our first time to be like that.”
“Like what?” I choke on my words.
“I don't want you to have been . . . summoned,” she says. “I want it to be because we—you—want to.”
“Uh, that's never, ever going to happen.” My hand tries to figure out an appropriate place so I can push her back.