“Didn’t we just establish that you have no recon experience?”
“We did. But I have other skills. And you want me to be involved, right? So involve me.”
Thomas shook his head.
“It’s just watching. It would be a learning experience. Please.”
He looked at her, considering. When he spoke, his words were pointed. “I’d have to send you with Jackson.”
She blinked, and her head shifted as if to shake it. She caught herself. “So?”
He tilted his head at her. “You know that I know everything, right? I see all, I hear all, in spite of what everyone else seems to think.”
“Well, that’s a little scary.”
He grinned, baring his teeth.
She could pretend. And then he’d call her out on the lie. Difficult, omniscient man. “If I have to deal with Jackson, fine. I can deal with anything if it means I can be out doing something. Please. I need to help. I need to act. Alex told me I’d be helping.”
“I’ll think about it.” Thomas wasn’t promising anything. But that was enough for now.
Chapter 19
The ride to Fort Nevada gave Alex more than enough time to think about the potential folly of the trip and taking Lena north. He changed into his field uniform then sat back, blind to the reflected smear of light from the glassy walls of the tunnel. Since the beginning, when he’d convinced Thomas that fieldwork best employed his talents, Alex had been careful to balance his responsibilities at home with the maintenance of his cover in Azcon. This trip was not an effective balance.
His issue with the trip had nothing to do with securing the position that would make the rest of the operation fall into place. He’d been promoted over Merritt and had spent the last five weeks reveling in the intensity of his dual responsibilities—learning to control his Spark at Fort Nevada in the evenings and the workings of Councilor Three’s Security at Azcon during the day.
It also didn’t matter that Three believed the four days away were a pre-planned solo hunting trip, meant to keep Alex’s skills sharp. A little praise of Three’s intelligence and leadership of the Zone, coated with put-on sexual tension to flatter the omnivorous ass? It made Alex’s skin crawl, but the Councilor rubberstamped whatever Alex wanted. Alex knew how to play the Councilor. It didn’t make leaving Azcon right now any smarter.
It wasn’t even the danger of taking Lena so far from Fort Nevada, and so close to potential peril at the prison. She needed to be a part of it all. It was time. This jaunt to run recon on the prison was both an established route and, since the transfer they’d expected hadn’t happened, would likely be the most uneventful introduction to their activities they could manage. He agreed with Thomas: it made a good first mission for her.
No, his struggle had started the minute he’d written the message to Thom that he’d be going, too. He’d sent it off with their courier anyway.
When he’d challenged himself on the decision, his explanation was logical. There had simply been too many unknown variables to crop up in the past few months, and Alex wasn’t willing to take any chances with Lena.
She needed to take a more active role, yes. It didn’t mean they had to be reckless with her. She was too important to their future.
For every question or doubt he raised, he had a ready answer. But what about that constant itch to go back? His mind bobbed and weaved in an attempt to avoid the answer.
The train slowed, and the tunnel lights separated. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He still didn’t have a solution.
After pulling the train in, he went straight to the ready room. The rest of them were already there. Lena sat at the end of the conference table, legs tucked up and crossed beneath her on the chair. She had on the same grey-green field uniform the rest of them wore, though hers was likely a Ward uniform—the only size that would fit her.
She leaned across the table to peer at the map Thomas and Jackson were reviewing. Her red hair fell around her face. The pressure that had been building inside of Alex began to ease, as it did every night when he showed up to work with her.
Was it the sight of her? Or a proximity response? He’d asked the same questions before.
With a deep breath, he buckled down and focused. Was it Lena? Or the Dust? She was young, damaged, and irritating. But she was also attractive, smart, and strong-willed, and her laugh echoed in his memory when he was far away in Azcon. It didn’t really matter whether it was her or the Dust. He was compromised, period.