“Did you now?” Alex could hear the skepticism in his own voice.
Jackson grimaced and said, “Yes, sir.” He shook his head. “I told her I didn’t want to be involved with her, sir, in no uncertain terms. I want to….” He looked down at the floor, miserable. “But I made sure she doesn’t believe that anymore.”
Good.
“I know who she is. Who she’ll be. She’s meant for something better. She’s meant for someone better. Do you know what her children will be? What Councilor Five believes they’ll be?”
Alex nodded.
Jackson continued, “She’s not meant for me. So I told her…. She’s very direct, sir. I was, too.”
Jackson shook his head, focusing on Herrons and Lena turning off into the track bay ahead of them. Alex started walking slowly, and Jackson moved with him.
“And it didn’t go over so well.”
“It did not. I hurt her, sir.” Shame and disgust colored his voice.
Alex nodded. He wasn’t happy, was he? Lena had been hurt, after all. Why did he feel the need to swallow a grin? “Honestly, kid, I’m impressed as Dust that you were able to walk away.”
Jackson grimaced, deeply unhappy. “I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was, sir.”
“You managed something most of the Guardians couldn’t. You should be proud.” He clapped the younger man on the shoulder. “Mastering yourself is critical, as you know.”
They came to the corner, and Alex turned into the bay. “I appreciate your candor. Keep your focus where it belongs. The operation. Keeping her safe. Not worrying about how she does or does not feel.”
Jackson nodded once, a sharp snap of his head. “Thank you, sir.”
Alex grinned at Jackson’s back. Perhaps he’d underestimated the kid? Where in the Dust had he found the strength to walk away from her?
Alex slung his pack into the far corner of the train. Lena seated herself in a forward left seat and stared out the curved window at the glassy black wall beyond it, ignoring all of them. He moved to the console, ran through the starting protocol, and eased them into motion. For Lena’s benefit, he told them they were in for a slightly longer trip than from Azcon to Fort Nevada.
A moment later, she stood beside his seat. “How long will we be gone? Thomas said two days?” She looked at their reflections in the curved window instead of at him.
“That’s right.” They’d shortened the usual three-day rotation in deference to her training. “We’ll leave Herrons behind and hike to our base camp location. Camp overnight, move into position before dawn, relieving the other team. Once we’re in the hole, we don’t leave it. We’ll observe in shifts and head back the following morning after our relief arrives. We’ll be back here late tomorrow night.”
She took a deep breath. “Look, I know I’m not the best of company, but can we spend another night out? Like, head back to the base camp and wait until the next morning to hike back out?” She tried to make her voice brisk, but deep unhappiness threaded through her words. She refused to meet his eyes.
What the Dust had she not been telling him? It had to be more than just the thing with Jackson, didn’t it?
He leaned back. Giving a little to keep her happy wouldn’t cost him anything. Of course, she wouldn’t expect him to make it easy. “Would you make an effort to be cooperative if we did?”
She finally met his gaze. “I’ll be as cooperative as I know how to be.” She rolled her eyes. “Which, I admit, isn’t much.”
Alex smiled at her. He waited until one side of her lips curved up in a returned half-smile. “You’ve got a deal.”
She turned away then, exhaling a long sigh of relief, and returned to her seat by the far window. She still held herself apart, but her demeanor had changed. Her body wasn’t tense and angry. More than anything, she seemed tired.
He knew from personal experience that they had all grossly underestimated the Dust Effect radiating off of a highly-powered female. They’d expected it, yes. Any of them who had ever spent time with a mid-range woman and felt the attraction and the buzz of well-being from her presence could have guessed there would be a stronger response to a woman who was a step up in power. None of them would have guessed it would be like this.
But what was the Dust feedback from all of them doing to her? They were affected by just one of her. How would it feel to have a hundred Lenas, all of them focusing their attention and expectations upon you?