Yeah, he walked right into that one.
He winced and tried to shake his head. The movement stalled, and he barked a laugh. “I suppose.” He could hear how guarded his own response was. He had to work on that. Somehow, at some point, she’d have to learn to trust him.
“So our government was founded by a shady, deceitful agent. And the people who are trying to fix the system are…agents…who are basically the same thing?”
Fort Nevada was not filled with deceit. “No. No, we are not basically the same thing.” Alex leaned back, his hand thumping on the bench beside him in frustration. He opened his mouth to speak, but she waved him off.
“It’s okay. I’m not trying to antagonize you. I only wanted to know what he was referring to. So, my second question is a little more personal.” She shifted on her bench and looked down at the ground. “The breeding program made all of us…all of the Sparks? So we’re all descended from the same group of men?”
He nodded. “More or less. The ability is a native one. All humans could have it. But yes, the strongest of us are descended from the men the scientists…refined.”
“How many were there?”
“Originally? Sixty-four. But only fifty-two of them participated.” It wasn’t a big number, which was why they had built in the safeguards.
“Fifty-two? That’s not many.”
“They keep records. They were very careful, especially in the beginning. It’s one of the reasons why the Wards are sent out to new Zones when they become agents. And why they can’t go back.” The old pain twinged. With her, he didn’t have to keep it from his voice. She understood.
“New blood.”
He nodded.
“And it’s the real reason all of you want me?”
He could see the fresh wound on her face.
“I can’t speak for Jackson,” he answered her. “But I’d be lying if I told you it wasn’t a factor. Terrible as it was, the reason the breeding program was so effective is the Spark breeds true. Your Spark will, too. And as a weapon against the Council, a future filled with Sparks who can do what you do, maybe more? I’m sorry. That’s more important to us than feelings.”
“My Spark will breed true?” She shook her head. “You’re all assuming I’ll allow it to breed at all.”
Alex felt his brows draw down. “Allow it? You can control your fertility—of course you can control that.” As soon as he’d seen her expression, mocking him for thinking she wouldn’t use her gifts to make her own life easier, he’d amended the question. “Here we all were, thinking the only issue would be who you chose. But it isn’t just who, it’s also when.”
“No. It’s if. I don’t even know that I want children, and it’s certainly not going to happen until I tell the Dust to allow it.” She looked down at her hands.
Because she’d turned her face to the ground, he almost missed her next, soft question.
“Is that why Jackson kept backing off? Thomas decided Jackson was an inappropriate choice and he just…caved?” She nodded, a faraway look on her face, and it seemed to be an answer to her own question. “I thought he cared. I thought….”
She needed comforting. He didn’t want to do it. What was the point of telling her a lie? Love gave the world a weapon it could turn on you. They’d both lived that.
But he found himself rising to his feet and crossing to her, anyway. He lowered himself to a crouch in front of her, taking both her small hands in one of his and using the first fingers of his other hand to tilt her chin up.
“If Jackson won’t take a stand for you, then he’s a fool,” he said. He could tell her that much. It was the truth, even if the kid would have been bucking Alex’s own orders. “A fool. And any man who is given the chance to win a piece of your heart and doesn’t claim it….” He shook his head. “Worse than a fool.”
“Is that right?” She searched his face, as if looking for the lie. Not finding it, she softly smiled.
The urge to lift his fingers a few inches to trace those lips surged through him. Instead, he stood up and backed away. He gestured for her to stand.
“C’mon. I have an idea. I want to try something.”
She sighed.
“Seriously, I have a new idea. C’mon, get up.”
Get up, Lena. I need the focus.
She rose and stood with her arms crossed, waiting.
He focused, grateful for the shift in mood. Instead of trying to affect the Dust inside the body, as she did in her attacks, he’d try for the Dust attracted to the outside of her. Perhaps the Dust living inside was simply too protective of their very strong host? He breathed out and reached with his mind.
Nothing happened, exactly like all the times before.
“Um.” She wrinkled her brow. “Did you start yet?”
Alex groaned in frustration. He dropped his gaze to the ground at her feet, not wanting to see her expression after the latest failure. Push, dammit!