Amaia wasn’t foolish enough to go home. The only possession that meant anything to her rested on her finger. Besides, she had no home. She’d never really had one. It had been Lawrence who had made each stop along the years home. He was nothing to her now. An enemy. He always had been, only now he was exposed. She preferred it that way. Discovering her enemy had forced her to acknowledge her loyalties. The lesson proved painful, but she had to believe it would be worthwhile in the end.
When she entered the alley behind the hotel, the hair on her arms stood on end. Lawrence was nearby.
“You don’t think I know your friends are here?” Lawrence’s voice emerged from the shadows.
Amaia shivered. It had been the right choice to make them stay behind.
Lawrence took a step toward her. In less than a full second, Amaia had him pinned to the stone wall of the boardinghouse. Her triumph was short-lived when she realized he hadn’t put up a fight and still wasn’t.
“I could kill you.” The words came out low through her gritted teeth.
“Yes, you could, but you won’t.” Lawrence appeared unruffled. She sensed no fear in him.
“Don’t be so sure.”
“I am, my child. You’re mine. I know you better than you know yourself, better than your lover boy knows you. You may think he’s fine with the knowledge of what you are, but I assure you he’s not. Maybe he thinks you can be turned back into a mortal. Maybe he thinks he’s fine with it. But eventually, it will wear on him. He’ll realize that you are never going to change. You’re incapable of it. And when he realizes that, he will leave you without your sire, your clan, or your friends.”
Lawrence’s words touched her insecurities. He was right about one thing: he knew her better than anyone. She was his child, in both her mortal life and her immortal existence. She couldn’t sever that tie. She couldn’t end the man who had given her everything, even though he had simultaneously deprived her of her mate. In his twisted mind, he had only been saving her, and she couldn’t kill him for it. She couldn’t alter her worldview any more than she already had.
“Have you told him?” If Zenas knew, her time was measured.
“Yes, but he’ll take you back. You only need to let us kill Michael. You won’t even have to watch. Once he’s dead, you’ll need to humble yourself, pledge your allegiance to Zenas, and then everything will be right again.”
“You told him to gain leverage over me, in hopes that you could force me to stay.”
“Of course. What other reason would I have? I don’t want to see you dead. You’re too important to me.”
Amaia shook her head. “I’ll not betray Michael. I can’t let you or anyone else kill him.”
“I had thought there wasn’t any softness left in you. You realize if you leave, if you go to him, you will be hunted?” Lawrence’s self-control was almost strong enough to hide the worry in his eyes.
“Yes, I know.”
“It’s a shame. I had hoped when you didn’t feel guilt that I had cured you of your heart’s weakness. I had thought you had more loyalty than that to me, to our cause. We could have been great together. We could have overshadowed Zenas’s power.”
“He should have killed you.”
“Yes, he should have, just as I should kill you now. Go. He’s issued your death warrant.”
As much as Lawrence spoke against love, he showed his own weakness now. There was no reason not to kill her other than whatever trace of affection he held for her.
Amaia knew she was turning her back on her sire. There would be no chance to return. Zenas wouldn’t tolerate it. Even Lawrence wouldn’t be able to sway him. It was entirely possible that he wouldn’t even be able to save himself. Something inside her ached even while she knew it was the right decision. Lawrence didn’t deserve her loyalty. Still, it hurt.
Chapter 41
Outside Paris, February 1799
Amaia ran. Her legs stretched over the ground, carrying her as far away from Lawrence and Meg as she could get. For the first time in her existence, running was not an act of freedom but an act of survival. Zenas would set every vampire he controlled after her. She wasn’t simply breaking the rules, she was defecting. Zenas wouldn’t tolerate it. He couldn’t. Amaia would lose all respect for him if he did.