“I had already been down the road you are no doubt traveling now. Abbi was the love of my life, but circumstances meant we kept passing each other by. I met her after I was already stuck in a loveless marriage. We had an affair, but that was no life for her. When the opportunity came for her to marry, I urged her to accept it. I knew it was best for her. I thought then that I would never love again.”
The image of a young Lawrence, smitten with love, entered Amaia’s mind. She couldn’t picture what he would have looked like as a young man. She imagined he could have been handsome in his own way.
“Then my wife died in childbirth along with our stillborn son. We had never been able to have viable children. I was alone, but I couldn’t help thinking that it was better than being married to a woman I didn’t love. I was content to live out my life, but then she returned.” Lawrence stared out the window, his eyes seeming to peer into a different time.
“Abbi?” Amaia felt like a child listening to a bedtime story, and she couldn’t help herself.
Lawrence returned his gaze to her. “Yes. Abbi. Seven years after my wife died, I ran into Abbi when she moved back to the village. Her husband had died as well. She was a fresh widow, looking for comfort and love. I had plenty of both to give. We struck up our affair again. It was amazing how it seemed no time had passed. We had both aged on the outside, but inside we were still the same two young people in love. I can’t tell you how happy I was, Amaia. I wish you could be that happy.”
“Then why did you stop me from marrying Michael? Why did you interfere in my happiness?”
“Because I know the rest of the story. I wanted to be with Abbi forever, but time was not on our side. It didn’t seem fair that we had lost a lifetime together because of bad timing. If I had met her before I married, I would have had her. My life would have been so different. I would have died in my bed a happy old man. I never wanted eternal life, Amaia. I only wanted my Abbi.”
How had this man hidden under Lawrence’s exterior? Amaia was surprised she had spent so much time with him and yet knew so little about who he really was.
“I had known Zenas throughout most of my adult life. I wasn’t a particularly powerful man in my village, but Zenas saw that I had a sharp mind. He liked that. I knew everything about everybody. He used me for information to blackmail people. I don’t know why my part of the world was the one that fascinated him at the time, but it did. He noticed my sadness and asked about it. I told him I wished I could live forever. That’s when he revealed himself to me and offered to turn me. I asked if Abbi could be turned too. He thought our love story was quaint, and he agreed that he would turn us both. We would be able to live out eternity together. His only condition was that I be turned at that moment. He couldn’t risk me changing my mind and the knowledge of his kind being exposed. He didn’t want me telling Abbi until I was a vampire myself. Naturally, I agreed.”
This part of the story sounded familiar. Amaia could understand the desire to live forever. Of course, Lawrence’s desire had come from his love for Abigail; Amaia’s desire had come from a need for control and power.
“I made my transformation kill and went through the metamorphosis. I was so eager to see her when I woke that I fed as quickly as possible and went to her. It was obvious that something was wrong. I hadn’t yet mastered human movement. Hell, I hadn’t even started trying. She was shocked and horrified. I saw the eyes that had only ever looked on me with love harden into a hatred that burns me to this very day.”
The cold passion in Lawrence’s voice bit her.
“I was devastated. I ran away and began to kill. I lost myself in the high. I told you we all do it. I thought if only I could grasp the happiness I felt during my transformation kill, everything would be all right. I failed, as all new vampires do. That particular high is ever elusive.