“N-no!”
“Ovailia was right.” He roared at me, and I almost missed what was coming. His fist pulled back as the skin of his hand glowed red, his magic fueling his anger as he moved to punch me.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t make my magic respond. I stared at him, tears flowing down my cheeks. The part of me that still held out hope that this was not the Ryland that hunted me died when he moved to do that which I had come to believe he always did. Hurt me.
His fist moved toward me at a speed I couldn’t even comprehend, the knuckles making contact with the side of my face. I howled at the impact. My voice rising up as burning pain spread through my skull, as I fought to get away from what Ryland would do next. Before either of us could make another move, a gust of wind flew through the room and lifted Ryland off of me. I didn’t look to see who had rushed in, I only howled as I rolled off the bed onto the ancient stone and slid myself underneath the heavy wooden bed.
Hiding was my first defense now. It felt safe here. I could feel the pressure of both the bed and the floor pushing against me. I tried to keep my breathing and cries to a minimum in the hope of not being found, but I was not sure it mattered. Ilyan and Ovailia’s raised voices had entered the room, the screaming match in Czech having only intensified at what they found.
“But he didn’t hurt her did he?” Ovailia yelled as she transitioned smoothly to English.
“Ovailia, he punched her when I came into the room!” I heard Ilyan’s feet move toward me, his stocking feet coming into sight. I cringed at the possibility that he would pull me out. But he stayed there, guarding my hiding place.
“I didn’t see that.” Ovailia lied, I heard Ryland chuckle next to her and my insides stiffened.
“He’s going to lie anyway, Ovailia. He’s been feeding her lies. Just as you said.” I stuffed my fist in my mouth at the sound of Ryland’s voice to keep from screaming.
“What lies have you been telling him, Ovailia?” Ilyan asked, the amount of fear in his voice alarming.
“Nothing much. Two can play at this game, Ilyan.” Her voice was sweet as honey but I knew better. Because this wasn’t a game, no matter how many times Cail had told me that.
Cail.
Without warning I began to howl again. My safe place suddenly felt like a prison. I could hear Ovailia laughing beyond my screams.
“I want you out, Ovailia! Leave the Abbey, and take your games with you,” Ilyan roared above my yells. I could just make out Ovailia’s laugh as Ilyan removed her and placed the door back in place.
It took a second before his face appeared in the gap under the bed, his hand reaching to help me out. But I couldn’t see through the fear enough to respond. I only howled more.
I felt Ilyan’s magic flare inside of me, his warmth moving through me as he steadied my heartbeat. My voice died into nothing, my anxiety lessoning. Ilyan reached forward again, but I just looked at him, not quite willing to leave the security the bed provided me. Ilyan waited another moment before relaxing his hand, his body lowering as he lay down on the ground beside me. His body was stretched out on the floor while mine was crammed under the bed.
“I’m sorry, Jos.” His voice was soft. And while I could feel some of my panic edge away, it wasn’t quite enough. “I will make you safe. I will make you whole again.”
I stared at him, my eyes wide. I tried to convince myself that what he said was true, that I was safe, that I would be whole again, and that I would no longer feel this panic and pain that controlled my body.
But I didn’t know if I could believe him. I wasn’t even sure if that was possible.
Ilyan began to wedge himself under the bed, his tall, wiry frame moving right up against me. I could feel the warmth radiating off of his skin.
Without thinking, I reached up and pulled at one of the short locks of hair that covered his head. He smiled at the action, his body moving closer as I brought my hand back.
“I cut it for you, after what you said in Italy. When you couldn’t wake up… I was…” his voice caught, and I could almost swim in the emotion that was emanating from him, the fear and the terror. I knew what he must have felt, because I had felt it too when I was first trapped in the T?uha.
I curled myself into him as he lay beside me, his body wrapping around me tightly. I laid my head against his chest as the space around us filled with his song. Ilyan whispered the words roughly, the sound surrounding me in comfort.
I stayed stiff in his grip as he sang, his hand rubbing over my back, his lips heavy against the skin on my temple. Deep inside I was still waiting, waiting for someone to attack, waiting for blood to come. Waiting for Ryland to hurt me; Ryland, who wasn’t even safe in the real world anymore. I knew that place was gone. I had made it out, right to where I wanted to be.