Chapter Four
“How much do you want?”
“Everything you have.”
“Do you wanna get your stomach pumped?”
Severine groaned and held out her hand. “Whatever. Just give me some. I’m dying over here.”
Lily shook out four Tylenol and dumped them into Severine’s outstretched hand. “Why did you drink so much?”
Severine held up a finger and quickly swallowed the pills down. They needed to kick in. Fast.
She looked like shit. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face pale. The first thing she did when Lily woke her up was grab her sunglasses. Lily was determined to keep up with their Saturday routine, whether Severine was hung-over or not.
That’s how Severine ended up at IHOP, staring at the menu until her eyes crossed. “This is your fault,” Severine muttered.
Lily rolled her eyes. “Right. I forced you to sit in front of the Jager-train, held your mouth open, and shoved the liquid down your throat.”
Severine adjusted her glasses and leaned further back in the booth. “I’m glad that you can at least admit it.”
Lily’s food came, and Severine sipped from the coffee in front of her. Last night she acted stupid. Did she regret getting drunk? Hell, yes. Who wouldn’t? The side effects made Severine want to boycott parties altogether. More than anything, she regretted the reason why she drank.
When her vision settled on the dark liquid in front of her, Macsen’s face swirled in the cup. She blinked once, and his face was gone. She was falling apart over a guy—a guy she had only spoken to twice.
Severine grabbed a napkin and picked it apart. Pieces fell to the slightly clean table. She used this as a distraction from the nausea brewing in her gut and the confusion in her head.
Lily’s fork dragged across her plate, and Severine scrunched her face up in pain. “You’re eating like a pig.”
Lily bit into her pancake and made a face of bliss. “Seems like someone’s a little jealous they can’t enjoy all my yummy food.”
“Blech,” Severine grumbled and laid her face on the table.
“Stop. You’re ruining my perfect breakfast. And besides, I have Ben news.”
Severine moved her head and smiled across the table at her friend. “Yeah? Was it a love connection?”
Her fork clanked loudly onto her plate as she leaned forward. This time, the noise was an accident. “He’s amazing! I swear, we talked for hours last night. Ben’s just...so...sweet, attentive.” Lily paused and quickly shook her head. “Okay, now I’m rambling like an idiot.”
“It’s okay.” Severine’s smile was tiny, but she was so happy for her friend. “You’re happy. You deserve to be. So, when are you gonna see him again?”
Lily’s face was blank, “Uh...in class?”
“Oy!” Severine wanted to clasp her head in frustration but that would only bring more pain. “Lily, did he say he wanted to?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Benji, so he probably will. But you need to keep going, no more being shy! And if all else fails, lure him in with pizza.”
“What if he doesn’t like pizza?” Lily asked.
“Then he’s a cyborg robot and needs to be executed immediately!”
The waitress came and took away Lily’s food. When she left, Lily drummed her fingers repeatedly on the table. “Why did you drink so much last night?”
“Lapse in judgment. It won’t happen again.”
Lily’s laugh came out in a short burst. “I’m not judging. It’s just not like you to do that.”
It wasn’t like her to be this confused either. But apparently her mind wanted to travel down a different direction lately.
“What’s going on with you?”
Severine stood up straighter. Lily narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t hide anything from Lily, and even when she could, it didn’t last long. She’d better make it last. “Nothing is wrong. I’m still seeing double. Other than that, I’m fine.”
“I should make you take those damn sunglasses off,” Lily finally muttered.
“But you won’t, because you love me.”
The waitress came back with their bills and handed Severine a to-go box with food.
Lily gave her a strange look. Severine placed her money on the table and slid out of the booth with her food in one arm. “I’m hung-over, not stupid. You better believe I’m getting food to go.”
* * * * *
Being early to class wasn’t for Severine. Showing up late wasn’t exactly either. If she arrived with a few minutes to spare, it was perfect—enough time to settle down and not waste time.
Today she was late. She’d slept through her alarm and was forced to rush around her room like a psychopath. The first thing in sight was put on her body.
As she ran across campus, Severine looked down at her yellow sweater, jeans, and ballet flats. They weren’t her first choice. Her routine had been thrown off kilter, and it left her pissed off. The rest of the day she would feel unprepared.
Her body was already begging to curl underneath her sheets. The option to skip class was there. It wasn’t the most important one to attend, and it made the truth all the more apparent. Severine knew the real reason for her rushed pace. Green eyes flashed in her mind, and she instantly stopped running.
Slow. It. Down.
A deep breath escaped her mouth as she finally walked into her first class and moved toward the front of the room. An open seat was next to Macsen, and she smiled and placed her bag on the table.
Macsen looked up from his book and grinned widely. He shoved the sleeves of his gray zip-up toward his elbows and leaned back in his chair.
“Taken?” Severine asked.
“You wanna sit next to me again? I think dear Severine Blake is the stalker of the school.”
She smirked. “You could only dream I was stalking you.”
Macsen leaned closer. Severine smelled the scent of his cologne. She busied herself with her bag but she could still smell him.
“How was the rest of the party?”
“Oh!” Severine turned from her laptop and stared at him with shock. “You don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?” Macsen leaned closer. Severine’s gut clenched over the action. Those gorgeous eyes that she couldn’t see Friday night were clear and bright and right in front of her.
“Everyone danced around, and a few girls cried their hearts out over a boy feud and looked like raccoons with mascara running everywhere. It was epic.”
Macsen whistled, “I missed all that?”
“Yes, but don’t worry. I’m sure somewhere, somewhere, a YouTube video of the whole thing will pop up. Until then, I will hold it above your head.”
He smirked and went back to his book. Severine slid a notebook from her bag and flipped through the pages. She was searching for nothing; it just gave her something to do. “So, how is Haley and her I.B.S.?”
A book held between his hands dropped to the table. He stared at her with wide, shocked eyes. “Her what?”
Severine flipped her braid over her shoulder. “You know, Irritable Bowel Syndrome? By how quickly you guys left the party, I figured that was what she had. She was in the bathroom for a really long time.”
Severine continued and smiled at his open mouth. “My Uncle Allan had it.” Severine shuddered and kept speaking. “He had to constantly keep laxatives around the house. Needless to say, I never stayed long at his house during family gatherings.”
Macsen slowly shook his head. A smile was hidden. It was barely there, but Severine saw it. “She doesn’t have that.”
“Are you sure?” Severine asked with raised brows.
“Yes, I’m sure!” He abruptly stopped speaking. His lips kicked up in a small grin. “I can’t believe we’re talking about shit this early in the morning.”
“You seem tired. Chances are, you got more sleep than me.”
“Rough weekend?”
Severine kept her voice evasive. “You could say that.”
“I heard you had a lot of fun after I left the party.”
“Checking up on me, Macsen?”
“My brother was there.” Macsen shifted closer and let his statement hover in the air. She took her fill of his eyes, noticing the light green etched around his pupils.
Severine gave his shoulder a friendly pat. Just from observing him, she could tell that he was lean. Muscles didn’t define his sleeves. But underneath her hands, there was more strength than she thought there would be. Briskly, she moved her hand, placing it on her thigh. “Funny, once you left I wondered what your ambitions actually were!”
“Yeah, sure.” He didn’t sound convinced. “You danced your life away.”
“Your stalker tendencies are showing again. You gotta control it.”
He laughed loudly. And there it was—that emotion Severine couldn’t pinpoint, singed throughout her body. It burned.
“I’ll do my best,” Macsen responded back.
Severine watched him tap his fingers on his knee to an invisible song. He glanced at her and looked away. His expression was almost shy. “I want to be a journalist.” His gorgeous, genuine eyes looked at her once again. “Are you happy now?”
He had just confided something personal to her. She could tell from his tense shoulders and cautious stare it was something he didn’t disclose to many people. “I’m not surprised. You have that look about you.”
For a moment, his eyes grew slightly. “I think that’s probably the biggest compliment you could ever give me.”
“That you have that look about you?”
Macsen nodded.
“Well, I never lie,” Severine stated confidently.
“How can you tell?”
“I just can,” Severine tried to appear annoyed. She failed when she saw Macsen’s slow grin. “Stop pestering me. I can’t concentrate, and you’re agitating my psychic vibes.”
“You have psychic vibes?”
“No. But I can tell you it’s been a full five minutes since you’ve looked down at your book.”
He scrutinized her closely. “You sound accomplished.”
“I am.” Severine appeared confident, when inside, she was coiled tight with skittish nerves. “Can you even tell me who the main characters are?”
He remained silent.
Class started minutes later. Severine’s mood morphed into happiness. She couldn’t school her facial muscles into any other expression. Talking to Macsen just did that. He diligently listened to the professor and seemed to practically absorb every word.
But a few times he’d fix a stare in her direction, and it made half her body prickle with awareness. Severine knew that when his attention was on her, he had no idea what was being said in front of them.
For the first time, the minutes in class rushed past. She was almost sad to leave. Slowly, Severine gathered her stuff.
Macsen stood back and patiently waited for her. While she took her time, he finally spoke up. “So what’s going on? Why are you really sitting next to me?”
Severine frowned and walked through the door. Macsen followed. “Uhh...because I want to?”
“Really, what’s the truth? This whole semester you’ve sat in the top row and flirted with every male in the classroom. So what’s your gain?”
Her happiness deflated instantly, but she still kept her smile in place. “No gain, Macsen.”
He rejected her answer instantly and frowned. “Please, you’re that girl.”
Macsen’s words were a punch she would’ve never expected. It was a blow. The guy could strike with his words better than most girls. “What girl?”
Did she really want to know the answer to that? He didn’t notice her glare and slashed his hand through the air. “The girl that flirts from guy to guy and does it just because she can.”
Severine kept her anger at bay and took a deep breath. “That’s a bad thing because...?”
“You don’t deny it?”
Their shoulders touched, and Severine discreetly moved away. She wanted to leave this conversation and go her own way. Pride could be painful sometimes. And right now, hers was suffocating. “What would I deny?” Severine stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to Macsen. “That I do what every single guy does?” He halted his steps and turned to her with an angry guise.
Funny, that should be her expression.
He stepped closer. There was no giving or taking when he was around. Severine couldn’t pick what she wanted to feel. If that were the case, then right now she wouldn’t be so bothered by his statement.
Macsen was robbing her of everything.
“Maybe I’m seeing you differently.” He uttered his words firmly, with finality. “Why show them something you’re not?”
There were no words to shut him down, to protect her. She opened her mouth, but all that escaped was a deep breath. He nodded his head toward her once, accepting her silence for what it was. Her shock was bright enough for anyone to notice.
Severine watched him walk away. She was beginning to doubt herself. Bodies shifted past her, going in every direction. She followed them blindly. His opinion shouldn’t matter, but it did. Her shelter, the one that she used at every turn, felt yanked from her fingers.
At the thought, her fingers reacted and gripped her bag tightly. She was still Severine. She was still herself. She was secure with her actions.
But you’re not. Her thoughts jeered back in response.
She crossed her fingers that he didn’t notice her struggle. It was the worst, thinking he might know how much his words truly bothered her.
Now, right now, she was feeling like that girl. It pissed her off and carried a deep amount of shame with it.
“Severine! Wait up!” Lily caught up with her and squealed loudly. “I did it!” She proudly announced.
Severine’s mind wasn’t really focused enough to have a conversation with anyone. She repeated back Lily’s words to herself, but her eyebrows still formed a tight v. “What?”
Lily rolled her eyes and looped her arm through Severine’s. “I took your advice and walked up to Benjamin. I suggested we get together and hang out or something.”
“That’s great, Lily!” Severine meant it. Her sullen thoughts were bumped down to a lower shelf. They were still there, waiting for a quiet time to sneak their way to the top.
“He wants to hang out tonight.”
“I completely approve,” Severine stated.
“Really?”
Severine bumped her hip against Lily’s. “Uh, duh. You grabbed your confidence, slapped it around a little and look what happened! You’re meeting up with him later!”
“I thought you’d be pissed a little,” Lily confessed.
“Because?” There was always a because.
Lily shrugged and made no eye contact. “He wants me to meet him at the Sloan’s apartment. I told him you’d come with me.”
Her hand made contact with her forehead the minute she heard the last name of Sloan. “I’m not going!”
“It’s a study thing,” Lily quickly said.
“None of us share the same class,” Severine whined. “How would it be a study thing?”
“Ben and I do!”
“Yes,” Severine said slowly. “But I don’t. You see the trifecta? Oh wait, we don’t make one!”
“But I want you there. Look, I’m not comfortable enough to go there myself. Hell, I’m lucky I even approached him today. Baby steps, Severine, baby steps.”
Severine was proud of Lily, but that didn’t mean she was going.
“So, will you come?” Lily prodded gently.
Severine’s lips dropped down in thought. “If I hear the name Sloan one more time, I’m gonna cut my ears off. I’m not in the mood to deal with them.”
Lily glanced at Severine thoughtfully. “I thought you were fine with Macsen?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“When, later?”
“When we’re on our way to their place, and you swing by a coffee shop to get me a pumpkin spice frappe.” Severine was weak. That should make her cringe. But for her best friend, she’d do just about anything to see her happy. Being weak sometimes wasn’t the worst thing.
Lily bounced around and hugged Severine tightly. “Oh I love you, chica! I do!”
Severine’s lips remained tight. “I love you too. This will be great.” She was going to hell. She didn’t mean anything she had just said.
“Great? It will be freakin’ amazing.”
There was nothing to really say to that. Severine nodded her head and kept her lips sealed tightly shut.