Chapter Three
“Hey!” Lily shouted over the blow dryer. “Is Anne here yet?”
Severine looked up from putting her socks on long enough to shout out, “She’ll be here in like five minutes. So hurry!”
Anne lived in the same dorm as them and was the perfect friend to bring along to any party. It was all about the buddy system. And when that didn’t work, Severine made Ben tag along. Tonight she had both options coming with her.
That should’ve made her relax, but her nerves were cinched together and refused to loosen up. As it was, she already knew what, or rather, who, had her emotions so distorted right now. Thayer.
After her encounter with Thayer, she had a headache the size of Russia. It was long gone, but she was still stressed out and edgy. The two of them around each other would equal complete chaos. She wanted to sweep through and triumph over him. Severine knew that the feeling was mutual—he wanted the same thing.
She had always had a streak of competitiveness in her blood. But Severine wasn’t used to it going to this level. It was bizarre, completely unnatural. All that feeling told her was that his brother, Macsen, was where she should place her focus.
A black silk shirt was thrown at her head. She snatched it away impatiently. “Lily!” Severine shouted and sifted through her way-too-small closet.
Between the two of them they were stuck in a room with not enough space...closet space. Cubbyholes in kindergarten were bigger than the square footage of their closet. Severine could handle the tiny room. It was a given, living in a dorm. Both she and Lily decorated their sides with personal touches that defined who they were. It was a miracle the two of them hadn’t butted heads when it came to their room.
Lily gravitated toward bright colors. Sometimes when Severine woke up in the morning, she’d get an instant headache if she gazed over at Lily’s side, probably because Severine preferred dark and muted tones. All her side of the room consisted of was a dark blue, floral comforter, gray sheets and a bunch of pictures in frames on top of her desk.
Clutter made her stress out. If her side of the room was clean and organized, she could take a deep breath of relief. With the entire room clean, she was on cloud nine. But with Lily, that never happened. Severine could come to terms with never having an organized room, but one thing she couldn’t accept was a tiny closet. When your clothes were piled on top of one another and you were in a rush, all you wanted to do was cuss out the poor, innocent space. “That’s your sixth shirt! Chill out, okay?”
“I can’t chill!” Lily quickly straightened her hair near the mirror on her side of the room. It was the fifth time she had straightened that particular piece of hair. Severine kept her mouth shut and dug around their clothes to find a shirt. A brown low cut cross-front shirt was the only thing hanging up. It was the winner for tonight. “Here.”
Lily caught it with one hand and put it on quickly. “Are you sure this is okay? It doesn’t look like I’m getting an interview for Hooters?”
“Not really.” Severine leaned over Lily and quickly put on her lipstick. Her breath slightly fogged up the mirror, but her reflection would be the same as it had always been. Clear or blurry, her green eyes would still be shining. The freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks would always be a reminder of summers spent in the sun. The dark slant of her eyebrows would constantly give her the appearance of haughty superiority. And her lips would always appear plump.
A strand of her dark brown hair fell over her shoulder and curved around the underside of her breast. If Severine could be the girl on those Pantene Pro-V commercials, she’d die a very happy lady. Instead, she was stuck with hair that couldn’t decide between straight and wavy.
Severine referred to it as “stravy.”
Her hair was a daily battle, but it was one that her mom taught her to win at a young age. When she was twelve, her mom handed Severine two items and told her: “These two things will be your secret weapons to prevail over all the waviness. The serum will never let you down. The curling iron I gave you will sometimes be the best invention out there, and sometimes you’ll curse its existence. Welcome to womanhood.”
Severine smirked at the words running through her head and tilted her head so her hair could fall over her shoulder. Tonight she had won the hair battle. These moments were hard to come by.
“Yo!” Lily snapped her fingers and tugged her shirt down. “What do you think?”
Severine pulled back from the mirror and looked her friend up and down. “You’re showing enough, but not enough to say, ‘Hey look! The girls are out tonight!’”
Lily looked down at her chest. “In my case, I think it’s bee stings. Tonight they’re just getting help from the Miraculous. God bless Victoria.”
Severine spritzed perfume on her wrist and grinned, “I second that. Now, are we ready to go?”
“Aren’t we waiting for Anne?”
Severine walked to her closet and yanked on her fall jacket. “We can meet at her room.”
“Wait.” Severine turned back to Lily. “You’re covered up.” Lily’s eyes bulged out in concern. “Are you sick?”
Severine looked down at her brown suede boots, holey jeans, and lace turtleneck. “We’re going for you. I’m simply the messenger who finds out where the parties are so you can see lover boy.”
A weird expression crossed Lily’s face. “You sure?”
Holding up two fingers, she smiled at her closest friend. “Girl Scout honor. Now, come on. Let’s go!”
Lily grabbed her coat and followed. Severine shut the door behind her and wondered just how long she’d keep telling that lie to herself.
* * * * *
People poured out of the frat house in front of them, some already plastered and staggering with the help of their friends.
Lily, Anne and Severine stared at the sight. “It looks like we’re the first ones here,” Anne said dryly. Looking at Anne in all her petite glory, you’d never know she had the mouth of a soldier, and the humor to go with it. Her black hair was pushed back with the help of a headband, and her dark eyes scanned the grass like a predator looking for its first prey.
Anne was gorgeous, completely striking in her own right, but she was intense. It scared the hell out of most guys. And that made her the perfect party buddy. She had your back.
Severine let go of a deep breath and looked at Anne and Lily. “Okay. Before we go in, let’s reiterate: if we lose sight of one another that doesn’t give any of us the right to go all depend-a-ho.”
Anne pulled away with a funny look. “Dependa what?”
Lily smirked, and Severine stared solemnly at Anne. “Depend-a-ho is a female that sits around, waiting for a dude. She often scours the room, adjusts her dress constantly, and stutters around a guy because she thinks it’s cute.”
Lily nodded her head. “It also includes lip biting and constantly twirling your hair.”
Severine snapped her fingers. “Shit. I forgot those two points. Just don’t be ‘that girl,’ Anne.”
Anne snorted. “Don’t insult me. I get the picture. We stick next to each other.”
Severine looped both arms between her friends and walked up the stairs with them by her side.Fall was spreading throughout campus, and they huddled tightly together. This wasn’t her first party. It was freezing, but coats remained in the car. The chances of them getting ‘lost’ at this party were extremely high.
They walked across the porch and music was already blasting through the open windows. Severine squinted as they walked in. She used her height to her advantage and peered over the girls around them. She spotted a body that towered over everyone else and her eyes narrowed at Thayer.
She practically grunted in objection when she saw that Ben stood next to him. Instantly, she grabbed Lily’s hand, and Lily grabbed Anne’s. The three of them made their way through the heavy crowds of laughter, dancing, and people practically having sex on the open wood floor.
They were steps away from Ben when Tim’s voice boomed above the music, “HEY! It’s you!” His words were slurred, and Severine was pretty sure that half of his drink landed on the dude next to him.
“It’s me! Figure that!” She called back.
He laughed like she’d said the funniest thing in the world. “Come over here. Are these your friends?”
Severine glanced at Anne and Lily and acted shocked. “No, they’re two homeless people I found on the street. Instead of food, they wanted to go to a party—something about a bucket list...”
“Ah, cool, cool.”
Lily snorted on her laughter, and Severine smiled. Tim blocked their way to where Ben stood, and she nudged Lily. “Lover at twelve o’clock.”
“My twelve o’clock or yours?”
“What are you guys talking about?” Anne asked confused.
Severine ignored Anne’s question and gave Lily a funny expression. “Lily, what other twelve o’clock would there be? He’s in front of us, you dumb ass!”
She jumped slightly and smiled widely. “Oh!”
“What are you guys talking about?” Anne asked louder. She was sharp, but the girl couldn’t hang onto a conversation if someone paid her to.
“One word,” Lily shouted across Severine, “Benjamin.”
Anne looked confused. “Who?” Her eyes registered quickly, “Ohhh...I know him.”
Severine wrapped an arm around her closest friend. “Lily’s interested in him, if you haven’t noticed her drooling all over herself.”
A bored look crossed Anne’s face as she looked at the people around them. “So this is why we’re here?”
Severine looked around with her. “Exactly why.”
“ And we’re gonna have to make Lily dance with him or at least talk to him?”
“Yep,” Severine confirmed.
Anne nodded her head. Her task had been handed out, and she was on a mission.
“Gotcha.”
“You sure you wanna dance with Ben?” Tim asked Lily with a wink.
Her friend was branching out of her comfort zone, but that didn’t mean she was going wild with the best of them. With a red face and bugged out eyes, Lily shook her head. She looked at Tim slowly, taking in his high and tight haircut and blue polo. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
“Tim!” Severine shouted out. “You’re gonna give her a heart attack.”
College was a minefield of freakishly good-looking guys. Severine was just now getting used to it. Lily would sometimes relapse and drool like an idiot. Now was one of those times.
Thayer sauntered up to the circle they were slowly starting to form. “Dude, where have you been?” Tim asked him.
Two twins were underneath each of his arms. That’s where he had been.
A clumsy grin was on his face as he nodded at Severine. “I’ve been busy.”
God, two minutes around this dude, and she already needed to start breathing treatments to control her anger. He took his arm away from one of the girls to tip his head back and take a drink of his beer. His eyes stayed on Severine the whole time.
She watched his fingers latch around one of the redhead’s shoulders. It looked like it was more out of support. With both arms around the girls, it made his black v-neck shirt ride up slightly, enough for Severine to see the gray line of his boxers and the block writing of Calvin Klein. When her eyes reached his face, he was waiting. His gray eyes were void. She’d never be able to construe his thoughts. That’s what probably drew every girl to him.
“So, what do we have here?” Tim asked Thayer. His arm was still around Lily, but he smirked at whore one and whore two.
One of the perky redheads answered for the two of them. “Oh, I’m Farrah,” she pointed toward her twin, “and this is Faith.”
“A few of my brain cells just fizzled out,” Anne muttered into Severine’s ear before she broke their circle and shouted out, “I’m getting a drink!”
So much for the buddy system. Severine didn’t blame her, though. You could have fun without your crotch hanging out. Obviously, Farrah and Faith didn’t receive the memo. Severine cocked her leg out and crossed her arms. Thayer followed the action with his eyes. “Wow, this is just awesome. Two future Playboy bunnies in the making, standing right in front of me!”
The two dummies in front of her smiled, clearly not catching onto Severine’s sarcasm. Thayer grinned, and she wanted to punch that deprecated look off his face.
“SAVE-uh-Reen!” her name was boomed across the room as Chris barreled toward her. It came out of his mouth, always in syllables, and always pronounced differently. “Dammit, I’m f*cking happy to see you!”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.” He nodded his head and smacked Thayer on the shoulder. “My buddy here thought you wouldn’t show up.”
“Why would you think that?” Severine directly asked Thayer.
“Yeah, why would you think that?” Chris crossed his massive arms and smiled widely.
Thayer remained silent, but his body language showed just how tense he was. He lifted a wide shoulder. “You don’t seem like the party type.”
It was a barb. Instead of walking away or ignoring his bait, she stood taller. With heels, she towered over every girl here, but next to him she didn’t even come close to doing the damage she wanted. He looked down at her and smiled. “Do I go to parties? Yes. Do I go to parties to find my next hook up? No. That might be why I’m not on your radar.”
Chris laughed loudly and clapped his hands together. “Shit. Mac needs to hear this.”
Severine was in a standoff with Thayer. She could hear Chris shouting, “Hey! Anyone know where Mac is?” She taunted him to respond. Her feet shifted forward slightly, not even enough for anyone to notice. Thayer’s eyes dilated somewhat, and she grasped the fact that she could cause a reaction out of him.
Thayer reached out and grabbed Chris from walking away. “Who said you weren’t on my radar?” With his arm still holding Chris, he waited for her to answer.
She pointed to her chest, waiting for him to take a look. His gaze rested on her face. “The girls aren’t out to play. I’ve never said the phrase, ‘Like, who does that?!’ and my Facebook status doesn’t have some annoying quote saying, ‘To the world you may be one person. To one person, you may be the world.’”
Chris nudged her and laughed, but she was burnt raw. Her emotions were chafed, barely holding onto the rope that was keeping her from saying something callous.
His lips contorted in a smile, and her gut clenched tightly. He was doing it again.
Severine waited impatiently for him to respond. All he did was draw the girls closer to his body. “Ladies, why don’t we go dance?” The three of them turned, and Thayer left Severine’s sight.
She forgot the pain and smiled in Lily’s direction. “I need a drink, you?”
“Uh,” Lily watched Severine’s movements. She was unsure of how to respond. “Yeah?”
“Great.” Severine grabbed her friend’s hand and snatched it from Tim’s. She left both guys behind, and walked toward the kitchen. Her emotions were in possession of her actions. You better believe it found the alcohol in seconds.
“What. The. Hell.” Lily stated.
Severine walked across the old kitchen tile floor and sidestepped the spills from previous drinks. Out of the entire kitchen, there was only one counter that was semi clean. Severine chose that spot, gripped the counter behind her and rolled her neck in a circle. “I’m gonna lose it around that dude.” Lily’s eyes gleamed like two bright stars. Curse her. “I’m serious! You know, it’s not even the fact that he’s clearly a douche. The problem is, he knows he’s a douche.”
Lily took a sip out of her cup and scrunched her face up in pain. “So many douches in the world.”
Severine nodded. “He’s king of Doucheville.”
Lily snorted on her drink.
“He owns Douchedome. All a*sholes compete in the douche form of the Olympics at Douchedome.”
“He must be busy then,” Lily remarked with a smile.
“You’re not helping,” Severine gritted out. “You’re supposed to agree with me!”
Lily finally gave up and dumped the liquid from her drink into the sink, “I do agree with you. But what do you want me to say? The guy gets to you. I think on a perverse level, you kind of like it.”
It was perverse. Gross. Wrong. All of it was sick and twisted. Right now, it was Severine’s state of mind.
“Can we keep playing this game? It’s fun. I wanna see how many phrases we can come up with.” Lily clapped her hands together, and Severine smirked. It was nice to have a friend who had a jacked up sense of humor like she did.
“Wasn’t the mission to have Lily dancing with Ben, or, ah, whatever the hell his name is?” Anne asked as she walked into the kitchen and snatched an unopened beer out of a random dude’s hand.
“You’re kidding, right? You left my side to get a drink. Where was my wing man when I needed her?!”
Anne snorted darkly, “You were hardly alone. I saw you talking to Thayer.”
Severine threw her hands up in the air. “Am I the only one who didn’t know him up until a few days ago?”
Both Lily and Anne nodded in agreement. Finally, Anne spoke up. “If you think about it, it’s kind of understandable.”
Severine jumped up onto the counter. “Oh, I have to hear this.”
“The ego on the two of you is enough to make the windows shatter. So you’re in Severine-land, and he’s chilling in all his hot dude glory. You are like two magnets repelling each other. The magnetic field is too much.”
Lily nodded her agreement. Severine flicked her gaze between the two of them. “That’s the worst example, ever. Please tell me, why are we friends again?”
Anne squeezed Severine’s cheeks together and cooed. “Because I give you the world’s cheesiest examples, and I’m gonna find Ben. Then I’m gonna make him dance with Lily. That’s why we’re friends.” She grabbed Lily’s hand and stomped towards the front room.
“I hate you!” Severine shouted.
“You freaking LOVE ME!” Anne screamed back.
She rotated on the counter-top and stared at the people dancing. For once, she wasn’t out there. She wasn’t in bliss. Her mind wasn’t content.
Severine felt like shit.
Thayer glanced across the room at her. She wanted to look anywhere else. Her mind whispered that it’d be incredibly weak of her to turn away first. But she did anyway.
Her feet touched the wood floor. She needed some air.
“Mac, I think we should leave. I hate-”
Severine heard the name Mac, and her ears perked up. The voice that was speaking was high-pitched and annoying. It was Fran Drescher on a bad day.
Macsen and Haley stood huddled together in the tight hallway. She didn’t know what was going on between the two of them. Truthfully, Severine didn’t really care. Macsen was here, and it perked her mood up slightly.
Her lips turned up in a smile. There was something about this guy. He had on a baseball cap, and even in a shaded, dark hallway, it fit him. He stood tall, leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed as he listened to Haley talk. His eyes were focused on her, but they looked vaguely bored.
“Macsen, oh, Macsen!” Severine sang out.
His head snapped in her direction, and recognition showed in his eyes. Her confidence was back. It made her movement fluid, her smile secure. Unlike his, which was hesitant as she came closer. “Hey.”
Severine leaned against the wall. She attempted to stare at his eyes, but it was too dim. “What are you doing here?”
His expression was dull, almost uninterested. “It’s a party. What do you think I’m doing here?”
“I mean literally. Why are you here?” She made a face and tapped the wall behind him. “You’re standing in a creepy, dark hallway that looks like the set for the next Freddy Krueger movie.”
He smiled widely, and Severine’s heart escalated into a never-ending hammer. It was wrong that she could amass so much satisfaction from their encounters. But it was a good kind of wrong.
“So what are you doing here? Thayer’s...” He flung his hand toward the sounds of people. “Well, he’s somewhere. Shouldn’t you be with him?”
Did he still think she was after him? It was Severine’s turn to give a dull expression. “If I wanted to get in his pants, don’t you think I’d be with him now, close enough to be a second skin?”
Macsen’s cheeks colored. It seemed like every time Severine talked to him, she always managed to take him off guard. And when she did, his face showed his shock. His eyes widened before they flicked down to the ground. He scratched at the black stubble on his face and rubbed his neck. He didn’t hide anything: annoyance, anger or happiness. Severine could read his emotions. It sent a feeling of euphoria through her body.
He shook his head back and forth and slowly grinned. “Do you ever not say what you’re feeling?”
Severine smiled mischievously. “Do you want me to?”
Briefly, his eyes glanced behind her. His eyes were deep in concentration, almost callous. Before Severine turned to look behind her, his eyes drew back to her face. With a light smirk on his face, he leaned closer. “No, I don’t think I do.”
Someone coughed loudly behind Macsen, and he jumped at the sound. He was lost in her. But, then again, she had also forgotten Haley was there.
“I need to go to the restroom,” Haley bit out sharply.
Severine watched as he nodded and smiled a friendly smile. Friendly. She stored that away in her head.
The bathroom door slammed. Severine cringed and moved toward the opposite wall.“Are you two together or something?”
Macsen dug his hands deeply into his jean pockets. His expression was amused as he looked at her. “No.”
“Not together, but she acts like she owns you.” Severine tsked lightly. “Sounds like there’s something there.”
He shrugged. “We’ve known each other since high school. We’re just good friends.”
“Ooo-kay,” Severine drew out slowly.
“She’s just a protective friend,” Macsen admitted.
“That’s what the passive dumb girl says about her abusive relationship with her boyfriend.”
He remained silent and Severine continued, “So all this time we’ve had the same class together...”
“And two others,” Macsen said quickly.
Severine gave him a look and said, “No, we don’t.”
“Yeah, like, we totally do,” Macsen said in a girl’s voice.
“Fine, name them.”
“Psychology 101 and Literature. And if you don’t believe me, you usually slip in before class begins and sit near the back with your friends.”
“So you watch me? Are you one of the quiet, stalker types that silently keeps watch of all the girls in the room?”
“What kind of predator description is that?”
Severine looked up at the ceiling in thought and snapped her fingers. “Ted Bundy! Hah!”
“No, that’s a serial killer,” Macsen smiled widely. “You compared me to a serial killer. Nice.”
“You never know, it could happen.”
“All right. Okay, fine. If I become a serial killer all because of this conversation, I am bringing you down during my trial.”
“An accomplice?”
“Precisely.” His expression showed his amusement. She finally realized that she didn’t know where Lily was, Anne could be in a fight with some dude, and her mind hadn’t thought about Thayer in...a while. It felt good.
“I think this is the most messed up conversation I’ve ever had,” Macsen said slowly.
Severine schooled her features into shock. “What? You usually don’t talk about your ambitions? I’m honored to be the first.”
His laughter came out choked. “I think my ambitions are directed toward a different road.”
“Oh yeah? Where...”
“Mac, I’m ready to go,” a voice snapped out. It cut their moment in two.
Haley locked her hands firmly on her hips. She pierced Severine with a harsh stare, eyes flared with a challenge. Severine arranged a smile on her face, one that showed just how relaxed she was with this girl. There was nothing to prove against Haley.
“You okay?” Macsen asked her with concern.
Haley shook her head. “You’re my ride, and I don’t feel good.”
“Oh.” Macsen glanced at Severine with conflict in his eyes before looking at Haley. “Yeah, come on. I’ll take you home.”
“I’ll see ya later, Macsen,” Severine called out.
He nodded his head slowly. It was like he was recognizing her for who she really was. “I’ll definitely see you later.”
He brushed past her and walked down the hall. Severine waited. Whatever was coursing through her, she wanted more. There could be substance between them; a level of interest with Macsen that she didn’t expect. Before she had walked into this house, Severine knew the element that held her the most was curiosity. It was eager and intense. But how much of her interest was inquisitive? And when did it morph into something more?
No one would ever know where Severine truly came from. No one would know that her dad was a magician that never seemed to stop disappearing.
Anyone who looked at Severine would see a girl that was confident and strong.
Her mom’s voice flashed into her head, along with the memory of her mom wiping away the tears from her face.” You should never show your emotions. Someone will steal them away, and you’ll be left with nothing, Severine...”
Severine didn’t want to be crumbled into nothing. But she wanted to have that feeling. Severine wanted to know if she was really missing out—was there something to relationships that she just wasn’t seeing? Was it truly worth it?
But Macsen might be. He seemed like a risk she wanted to try to take.
She walked back to the island next to the kitchen and leaned in the same spot she had been in before.
Tim slid up beside her and pointed at Ben and Lily. They danced close together, and Severine watched her friend with a smile that was genuine, yet pensive.
“They’re really hitting it off,” Tim stated.
“Yeah, they look good together.” Severine grabbed his beer and took a long drink. She was over- thinking everything. Why was she building a situation up that wasn’t even there?
Severine turned and placed the empty bottle on the counter behind the two of them and yanked his hand. “Come on, let’s dance.”