Chapter Eighteen
“Lily! Answer your phone,” Severine shouted out.
“It’s not my phone, genius.” Lily moved across her bed, grabbed Severine’s phone, and chucked it at Severine’s head.
“I hate you so much right now.” Severine picked up her phone, trying to stop the annoying ringing. “Yeah?” she finally groaned.
“You’re still asleep?” Macsen asked.
“We got home really, really late.”
“I can tell.”
Severine could barely hear him over the sound of wind hitting against his phone. “Where are you?”
“I’m getting ready to pick you up and take you to get some coffee.”
“I look like shit,” Severine warned. As she stated the truth, she shuffled like an old woman across the room to grab some clothes and her toothbrush.
“Sev, I don’t care. I wanna see you. Did I mention coffee?”
“You know the way to my heart,” Severine grumbled.
Macsen laughed. “See you soon.”
“Sounds good.” Severine moved around as quickly as she could to get ready. Her normal routine was out the window, and she hurriedly put the bare minimum of makeup on, brushed her teeth, and yanked on a pair of black leggings and a loose white tunic. The girl that looked back in the mirror didn’t look half bad.
By the time she dropped her stuff off at the room, Lily was passed out and snoring. Loudly.
Severine still nudged her. “Hey. I’m getting some coffee with Macsen. Do you want some?”
Lily made a face and rubbed at the eye crust near her eye. “Yeah.” She waved her hand in the air. “How are you not still out of it?”
Severine slid her arms into her purple, pleated coat, the only one in her closet that didn’t smell of smoke. She covered her messy hair with a black snowcap. “I have no idea.”
Still huddled underneath her sheets, Lily peered at Severine. “You doing okay, though?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Just had too much last night.”
“I’m not asking about that.”
“About me acting like an idiot? Yeah, let’s just forget about that.”
“Ten-four.”
“No truck driver talk, please. Too early for that,” Severine called out from across the room, escaping the conversation before Lily became any noisier.
Macsen waited for her outside. She hurriedly walked over and got into the truck.
“Did you really just wake up?”
“Yeah. I just set a world record for getting ready.”
Sitting across from her with a sweet smile was what Severine needed to see. She leaned over to kiss him innocently and pulled back.
“Hey. You can’t do that and move away,” Macsen said with a grin.
Severine stayed in place, wanting him to kiss her again. When he did, his fingers wrapped around her neck as his tongue entered slowly. Everything about it teased her. Severine clutched at his arm and pushed him closer. His body willingly gave way. He moved the armrest up and clutched her hips tightly in his large hands.
Now wasn’t the best time for a kiss like this. Severine stopped caring the minute his hands lifted her sweater up and spanned her waist. The contact made Severine grab his face and move her tongue into his mouth hurriedly.
Macsen choked out a laugh and slightly pulled back. His green eyes focused on her face, and Severine let out a gasp as his hands crept towards the edge of her bra. For nine in the morning, it could easily become the hottest kiss.
“Hi,” Macsen pronounced leisurely. His fingers drifted across the lace of her bra. When it seemed like he was going to touch her further, he went back to teases.
“Did you really want to get coffee?”
“That was the intention.” He pulled his hands away. They left a lingering touch on Severine’s skin.
Severine pulled her sweater down and turned to buckle up. She needed that kiss. It was an affirmation that everything she was arranging in life should have Macsen included.
His hand reached across the seat and fastened their hands together. “So, did you have a good time last night?”
It was impossible to tell if his question was innocent. Severine answered anyway, “Yeah, it was great. I danced with Chris till my blisters had blisters.”
“That’s what he told me.”
What else did he tell you? Severine nodded and scanned through his iPod. All the titles were unrecognizable to her. She pressed play anyway. The song wasn’t half bad. It filled the silence building in between the two of them. “Chris was an idiot,” Severine replied casually.
“So, no dancing with Thayer?”
Severine frowned over at him. “No, he was with some girl.”
“If Vanessa wasn’t there, would you have, though?”
Her grip on his hand tightened. “No.”
Have you known her long? How do you know her name?
As he turned into the parking lot of the coffee shop, those questions demanded her full attention. She’d never get the answers because those questions weren’t hers to ask.
The truck idled and then became silent. Macsen stared straight ahead. Severine shifted her eyes around, trying to figure out what was going on between them. It could be something small, something so insignificant that you’d never look twice at the issue, but for Severine and Macsen, it was an ugly mess.
“What are you mad about?”
Macsen swung his head in her direction. All his insecurities were exposed and laid out in front of them for her to see. It was dirty; an expression Severine never wanted to see on his face again. “Am I everything you want?”
Her eyebrows rose, and she instantly responded, “Of course.”
Disappointment showed in his eyes. She’d answered too quickly. “Answer me honestly. Not with the first thing that comes to your mind.”
“What do you want me to say? I gave you the truth. You’re making this a harder question than it needs to be.”
“Am I?”
Her patience was wearing thin, along with her guilt. All her fears about who she might be were so close to cutting through the facade she had worked so hard to create.
“Yes!” She shouted out.
“Are you sure that Thayer did nothing?”
“I think you’re freaking yourself out.” Severine faced the door handle. Macsen locked it.
“Don’t,” his demand came out gently. Even when he tried to be firm, he was kind. Severine would, sooner than later, run over him.
“Don’t be an ass,” Severine paused and glanced at his tense body. “Where is this even coming from? Why are you freaking out over nothing?”
Macsen’s anger blasted out of him, and he punched his steering wheel. It was only a smash. It was enough. “My brother worries me!” His breath came out harshly. “I catch every look he gives you. He went last night because of you.”
“Is this about last night? You could’ve come! I wanted you to come!” Severine shouted out. If Macsen wanted anger, she could give him just that. “I can’t control what he does!”
“I think you control more of him than you’ll ever f*cking know!” Macsen shot back.
Severine didn’t need to hear that. Her hands wanted to reach up and cover her ears. There were no take backs. It would all replay later when she was alone. “I’m not doing this with you. You can stay bitter about this. But I’m leaving in a few days for break. I’ll leave whether you’re over it or not.”
When she glanced at those chartreuse eyes, the ones she always loved, they looked crushed. “You’d leave knowing that you could potentially be the fire in my life? The same fire Thayer needs—even though he has no f*cking right to it?”
“No,” Severine grounded out. “I’m leaving with it on my shoulders. I ignited it all.”
He unlocked the doors, and Severine practically clawed her way out. She was leaving early for break. There was no way she was staying on campus any longer than necessary. Her mind needed clarity from everything that belonged to the word Sloan.