Between the Lives

chapter SEVENTEEN


Roxbury, Tuesday


Ethan brought in a tray of dinner, placing it on one of those wheelie tables before taking up position in the armchair.

I struggled with the bread – almost as much as with the silence. The broth, however, was good, and soothed my raw throat.

After I’d done what I could with the meal, Ethan stood, collected the tray and left, returning a moment later, phone in hand.

He held it out to me. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to stay in the room. I’ll try not to intrude,’ he said awkwardly.

I took the phone and punched in Capri’s number as Ethan moved to the window, his back to me.

‘Yep,’ Capri answered. Her standard greeting.

‘Capri, it’s me.’

‘Sabine?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You sound awful. Where have you been?’ Her voice dropped. ‘If you were at some all-night party on Sunday and are just coming back to the world of the living now, I’m gonna be so pissed!’

My smile was grim. Capri was so wrong, but so right at the same time. ‘No. Nothing like that. I, um … I’m not well.’

‘Where are you? I went round to your place. Your dad flipped out and wouldn’t let me in. So Davis and I climbed that big-ass tree outside your room and broke in. You weren’t there, obviously.’

‘Wait, how’d you get the window open?’

‘Oh, that.’ I could almost see Capri’s face scrunching up into her guilty expression. ‘Well, Davis had a crowbar in his car and we figured it came down to a safety issue. That window’s been stuck for, like, ever. I mean, what if there was a fire and you really needed to get out of there one day. It was a public service more than anything.’

I dropped my face into my hand. ‘You don’t know how right you are,’ I mumbled, wishing Davis and his crowbar had been around when Team-Insane-Recruiters had turned up to haul me out of there.

‘What?’ Capri replied, sounding hopeful she was off the hook.

‘Nothing. And you’re right, the window doesn’t matter.’

I heard her blow out a breath. ‘So, are you home now?’

‘No, I, um … I’m … I’m staying at a clinic,’ I said, my voice still hoarse.

‘Oh my god! Why?’

‘It’s just … some bug or something. They don’t know, so they’re testing me for a bunch of stuff,’ I fumbled, realising I hadn’t fully prepared for this conversation.

‘Oh, you poor thing. Angus and I will come visit you in the morning before school. Davis too, he’s been really worried, Sab.’ I knew where this was leading.

‘Capri, would you please drop this Davis stuff. I don’t like him like that. I never will.’ I don’t know why, but at that moment my eyes darted to Ethan’s motionless frame, his back still turned to me. I’m not sure what I expected. Nothing, I suppose.

‘But –’

‘Capri!’

‘Okay, okay, got it. No Davis. So when can I come see you?’

‘Oh. They, um … don’t want me to have visitors at the moment. You know,’ I tried to keep my voice light-hearted, ‘in case I’m contagious.’

‘I don’t mind. If I get it they can just give me the bed next to yours. Ooh, we can both blow off the last week of school!’

My heart clenched. ‘You’re a great friend, you know.’

‘Save the pick-up lines.’ She snorted.

‘Ha ha. I just wanted to let you know where I was. Mom and Dad are really foul at the moment. I’ll let you know what’s going on in a couple of days. I just … I need to ask a favour.’

‘Name it,’ Capri said without hesitation.

‘Can you check in on Maddie? She’ll be worried. Don’t tell her where I am. Mom and Dad have probably told her I’m in Disneyland for all I know.’ I couldn’t hide the sting in my voice, but Capri let it slide. Her mom was no picnic either and she hadn’t seen her dad in three years. ‘Can you just make sure she’s okay? That she … she knows I’m thinking of her and that … I love her?’

‘Jeez, Sab, this is heavy. Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘Yeah, it’s just important that she knows. And that I’m going to be fine. Tell her that, please.’

‘Okay,’ she said hesitantly. ‘I’ll be babysitter.’

I blew out a grateful breath. ‘Thanks, Capri. I, um … I better go. Take care, okay.’

‘Sure thing. Call me soon,’ she said before hanging up.

I put the phone down. Ethan was still standing by the window. He didn’t turn around.

‘I’m … I’m finished,’ I said.

‘So I hear,’ he said, his voice low.

His hand went to his face, and for a brief moment I wondered if he was wiping away a tear. Before I could say anything he suddenly spun around, his dark eyes fixing on me, causing my breath to lodge in my throat. I braced for him to say something, but after a second he just snatched the phone off the edge of the bed and left the room while I stared open-mouthed after him.

Ethan didn’t come back until 11.40 p.m. I know this because he brought a clock with him. Battery powered – no cable I could hang myself with. I held back the sardonic laugh; I didn’t want to risk being without a watch or clock again.

‘Thank you,’ I said shakily.

Ethan shrugged. ‘Here,’ he said, holding out a piece of paper.

‘What is it?’ I asked, puzzled by the list of questions.

‘Do you know the answers to any of these?’

I studied the questions briefly before turning to him in confusion. Maybe he was the one who was insane.

He sat down in the chair, watching me.

‘You said your memory goes with you, and that there were some things that are the same in both worlds. General constants.’ He pointed to the piece of paper in my hand. ‘That’s a list of things I want you to tell me straight after midnight.’

I glanced down at the list again.

• Two numbers whose sum is 26 and product is 165

• Cardiovascular benefits of chocolate

• Translate: Thesaurum omnis vitae



‘Look, this isn’t some game. I can’t … I can’t take this list with me, it won’t travel.’

Ethan crossed his arms and swung his feet up on the edge of the bed. ‘Well, start memorising.’ He gestured to the clock, looking irritatingly smug. ‘You only have fifteen minutes left.’

I started to scoff, but he was looking right at me, into my eyes like no one had before. I tried to ignore the unwelcome tingle it set off in my body. Was … was he daring me? Challenging me? Or even … willing me to prove it to him? Suddenly a steely determination settled over me. My eyes darted from the list to Ethan and back.

‘Sabine?’

This was a chance. My chance. I looked at the clock, swallowed back the midnight nerves and nodded.

‘What language is the last one?’ I asked.

Ethan just looked at me.

I rolled my eyes, but didn’t waste much time before getting back to memorising the list.

The minutes flew by as I read and re-read each question. But when there was only two minutes to go, I couldn’t take it anymore and I dropped the list, my hands and body shaking all over.

I really didn’t want to throw up in front of him. Again.

‘Is this normal?’ Ethan asked, sitting up, watching me too intently for comfort.

I took a deep breath to stop from being sick. ‘When I’m awake for the Shift,’ I tried to explain.

‘Is it involuntary?’

‘It’s fear, okay!’ I snapped, embarrassed.

He shut up and moved back in his seat.

I closed my eyes and tried to recite the questions to myself, using them to distract me. After a few rounds I realised I should have Shifted by now and opened my eyes. I was still in the clinic. Ethan was still sitting in front of me, watching as closely as ever.

Shit.

I looked at the clock. 12.04 a.m. How can …?

I looked at Ethan again. His expression was intrigued and … nervous.

I glanced at the clock again. 12.05 a.m.

‘So,’ he said casually. ‘Do you have my answers?’

I was so confused. This had never happened before. Oh my god, what did this mean? What in the hell was happening to me?

I glanced at the clock again. The clock Ethan had just brought me. Suddenly it clicked and I turned to glare at him.

‘You son of a bitch!’

‘Sorry?’ he responded, playing dumb.

‘Oh, you heard me. You changed the time! It’s not midnight yet! You tricked me.’

His eyes widened, but he tried to cover it up by acting suspicious. ‘How do you know that?’

‘Because I didn’t damn well Shift! How long?’ I shrieked, because right then, I didn’t care if he believed me or not, didn’t care one bit. What I cared about was the frickin time! ‘How long, damn it? Do you think this is a game? My life? Do you have any idea how awful it is, getting ready to Shift? Shit! What’s the time?’ I was losing my breath, grabbing at my hair, trying and failing to hold myself together.

Ethan looked horrified at my outburst. ‘Okay, okay. I’m sorry. It was a lousy trick. I just … I thought it might help.’

I stilled and turned a cold stare on him, speaking low and level. ‘Ethan. What. Time. Is. It?’

He pulled a watch out of his pocket. His face was stark as he looked back in my direction.

‘Sabine, I –’

But it was too late. It was midnight.