chapter 13
Are you okay?” Mace asked as she folded the sleeping bag and tucked it into the backpack. She’d been cleaning ever since Raven broke their embrace.
Her hair bobbed in front of her as she nodded, but she didn’t trust her voice to speak. Mace crossed the cave to where she stood and gently took the backpack. He dropped it on the ground and cupped her face.
“Your eyes are red from crying.” He kissed her cheek on one side, then the other, and she melted into him. She didn’t want to. She wanted to feel nothing. It seemed an even worse betrayal to Raven to relish Mace’s touch. Raven. Her heart cracked yet again. How could one girl cause so much damage?
Mace glanced down the rock corridor leading deeper into the cavern. “Where is he?”
“Gone.” She hated her voice. “He said he’d let Will and the others know the seeker is dead.”
Mace’s face troubled. “Is he —”
“Okay? I don’t know.” Nikki pressed her lips together, wanting, needing to tell Mace what happened. “He spent last night listening to me talk about you. How much I love you, how much I need you. And whenever he’d try to bring the conversation back to himself, I got angry.” She watched as the horror registered on Mace’s face. Raven must not have given him all the details.
He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head. “Oh, Nikki. I’m so sorry. You didn’t mean to hurt him.”
She wrenched herself from him and attacked the backpack again. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I did.” She grabbed the empty can of fruit cocktail and took it to the mouth of the cave. Outside, the forest was a blur. She held the can beneath the rushing water then shook off the excess before dropping it into the pack. “Does it matter that I didn’t mean to? Oh, sorry, did I just split that atom? Didn’t mean to. Oops, did I just press the button and start World War Three? I didn’t mean to.”
He came at her. “Nikki, stop.” His hands closed on her upper arms; his touch was warm, almost hot against her skin.
She stared past him to the crack in the cave wall where a line of ants marched. “You know the worst part of this?” Nice, straight rows of ants carrying tiny bits of dirt and food. “He said it gave him freedom, letting me go. And instead of being happy about that, I was hurt by it. How horrible am I?”
Mace’s fingers twitched then loosened on her arms. “You’re not horrible. You’re human. Well, you’re not completely human, but you have human emotions. They don’t come with an on and off switch.”
“If they did, this would have been a whole lot easier.”
“You care for Raven, even love him on some levels.” He raised the side of his mouth. “I’ve come to terms with that. So it’s natural that you’d feel like you’re losing him. And it’s natural that your emotions would react to that.”
She huffed.
“You know, for the very first time, I was beginning to wonder if Raven was the one for you. Then I came here.”
“What a mess the three of us are. You wanting to give me up for Raven, me wanting to let you both go because all I seem to do is hurt you, and Raven giving me up for you.”
“I guess we were all trying to do the right thing.”
Mace caught her chin between his thumb and finger and forced her to look at him.
She tried to break his grip. “How horrible am I for talking to you about this?”
“Nikki, deep in my heart, I’ve always known you and I would end up together. Even though earlier, I was doubting it. Fact is, you’re my match. And I’ve always known that you were scared for Raven, thought he wouldn’t be okay if you didn’t choose him.”
“Am I so easy to read?”
“For me, yes.”
She gave him the tiniest smile, her cheeks stretching and cracking after so much salt from the tears she’d cried. “I knew you could be okay without me. But I didn’t know if Raven could.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I couldn’t live without you, Nikki. You’re air to me.”
In that moment she knew it was all right for her to grieve for Raven, for the loss. That’s what was so remarkable about Mace. His strength, his ability to cut through all the emotions to find the truth. She’d need a little time to heal, and Mace would give her that. No, he’d insist on it. Then he’d challenge her. He’d make her be a better person than she was. He’d force her to fly. “So, what do we do now?”
He put the backpack on his shoulder. “We can go back to the house on Pine Boulevard. Will had the entire group come to Missouri after the seeker appeared. We have to keep a closer watch on Vessler.”
“Everyone’s staying on Pine?”
“Actually, Will’s going to let the girls sleep at their apartment downtown. Zero’s back at the underground.”
Ah, the underground, the mysterious place in Arkansas where Nikki first met the icy-eyed, sharp-tongued Halfling. “I bet he’s glad to be home.”
“You have no idea. And he’s keeping busy watching Omega Corporation.”
Which meant he was watching Vessler. For the briefest of moments it felt like there was something Mace wasn’t telling her; the way his words clipped at the ends. She tried to brush it off but couldn’t. “You going to tell me what’s going on in that stubborn head of yours or do I have to guess?”
“What?” He seemed surprised.
“Whatever it is, you’re avoiding saying.”
His jaw twitched. “We confirmed Vessler is the one who sent the seeker.”
She’d assumed it, of course, but to hear it said as fact made her a little dizzy. Vessler had tried to make her believe he’d cared about her — and on some insane level, she still believed he had — even though his version of love was twisted. But twisted enough to send such a vile creature to hunt her? She thought about it only a moment. Yes, that’s exactly what Vessler would do. “Why does he want me so badly?”
“Nikki, Will thinks we should be close to Omega, but I disagree. I think the safest place for you is at Viennesse. We could go there —”
“And what, Mace? Hide until Vessler comes up with some other scheme? Some other monster from the pit? I’m tired of hiding. Will’s right — we need to be close to Vessler and his operation. He can’t get to me anymore. I defeated the seeker.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re out of danger.”
Ugh. Why did he and Raven keep reminding her of that? Couldn’t they just be happy for two minutes that she’d won? “Mace, people have died because of me. To protect me.”
“You mean the Frenchmen.”
“Not just them. And others died by association. I won’t go into hiding. I owe it to them. To avenge them.”
A smile tilted one side of his face. “Nikki, the avenger.”
She sank a punch in his arm. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not.” His smile faded. “I honestly believe you’ll bring Vessler down. You’ll avenge the deaths that he’s caused. Even your parents.”
Her eyes left him and stared at the crystal clear water at the mouth of the cave. She couldn’t erase the scene that played over and over in her head.
“What’s wrong?”
“When I was hunting Vessler, I saw a man. He looked like my dad, but he was way too thin and just too old, I guess, to be Dad. Like the guy was a brother. He was meeting a man named Townsend and getting something — I think it was money — from him. Townsend left it in a trash can, and the guy looked really, really scared to be there.”
“No wonder. Keagan Townsend is a marksman, Nikki, an assassin. He’s Vessler’s right hand guy. Zero said he probably pulled the trigger on the scientist we dragged from the fire.”
“I just wish I knew who that other man was.”
Mace took her by the arms. “You can’t bring your parents back, Nikki.”
His sapphire-tinged eyes bore into her. “I know,” she mumbled.
“I realize you haven’t had much closure where your mom and dad are concerned, but promise me you won’t go snooping around Vessler or any of his men trying to find out things that won’t change their fate.”
Bleah. Does this whole “challenging me to be stronger” really have to start now? “But maybe I have an uncle.”
His hands dropped suddenly. “An uncle who is meeting with one of Vessler’s assassins. Not the greatest family member, in my opinion.”
“But what if he was trying to find out what happened to me? There could be answers about my family.”
“Nikki! Stop it. You have a family. We’re your family now. Why do you keep reaching into the past?”
“Don’t you ever wonder about your parents?”
“Every day. But it doesn’t change anything. There’s nothing but death back there for you. You said it yourself — you owe something to the people who died at the hands of the seeker.”
And that was another thing she’d have to live with. “Why is one person’s life more valuable than another?”
“We were sent to protect you. You’re valuable to the Throne.”
“Why?”
“Only time can reveal that. The important thing is you’re alive.”
She wasn’t convinced.
“Nikki, I don’t know what plan the Throne has for you. All I know is that he will go to no limit to keep you safe.”
“But why me?”
“Do you think Zero is important?”
“Of course. Zero runs the network. He keeps Halflings connected all over the world. Zero is the hub and no one else can do what he does.”
“Exactly. Zero’s work is vital to Halflings everywhere. If he were to die, the whole network would shut down. Like you said, no one can do what he does.”
“But I’m not Zero. I’m not anybody. I’ve barely learned to fly.”
“But you still have worth beyond measure. When Zero was younger, do you think he knew how important he’d be?”
“I guess not.”
“So stop questioning. Your worth will be revealed one day.”
She gauged his words but still felt there were things he wasn’t telling her. Things about her family, the world she left. For the moment, she’d let it go. “I have wings.”
“Shall we go try them out? Take ‘em for a test drive?”
She nodded and let the excitement drain the apprehension from her muscles.