Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code

Spiro laughed. ‘Shut up, you clown. You sound like some cartoon character.’

 

 

‘Yesh. Mosh amushing, shir.’

 

Spiro licked his lips, anticipating his coffee.

 

‘For a supposed genius, that kid sure is gullible. Do this right and I might just let you go? He fell for that one hook, line and sinker.’

 

Blunt tried to grin. It was not a pretty sight.

 

‘Yesh, Mishduh Shpiro. Hoo, line an’ shinkuh.’

 

 

 

FOWL MANOR

 

Artemis hung up the phone, his face flushed with the thrill of the sting.

 

‘What do you think?’ he asked.

 

‘I think he bought it,’ replied Butler.

 

‘Hook, line and sinker,’ added Mulch. ‘You have a jet? I presume there’s a kitchen.’

 

Butler drove them to Dublin Airport in the Bentley. It was to be his final act in this particular operation. Holly and Mulch huddled in the back, glad of the tinted glass.

 

The Butler siblings sat up front, dressed in corresponding black Armani suits. Juliet had jazzed hers up with a pink cravat and glitter make-up. The family resemblance was clear: the same narrow nose and full lips. The same eyes, jumping in their sockets like roulette balls in the wheel. Watching, always watching.

 

‘You don’t need a traditional gun on this trip,’ said Butler. ‘Use an LEP blaster. They don’t need reloading, they shoot in a straight line forever and they’re non-lethal. I gave Holly a couple from my stash.’

 

‘Got it, Dom.’

 

Butler took the airport exit.

 

‘Dom. I haven’t been called that in so long. Being a bodyguard becomes your world. You forget to have your own life. Are you sure that’s what you want, Juliet?’

 

Juliet was twining her hair in a tight braid. At the end of the plait she attached an ornamental jade ring. Ornamental and dangerous.

 

‘Where else would I get to bodyslam people outside of a wrestling ring? Bodyguarding fits the bill, for the moment.’

 

Butler lowered his voice. ‘Of course, it’s completely against protocol for you to have Artemis as your principal. He already knows your first name and, truth be told, I think he’s a little fond of you.’

 

Juliet slapped the jade ring against her palm.

 

‘This is just temporary. I’m not anybody’s bodyguard just yet. Madame Ko doesn’t like my style.’

 

‘I’m not surprised,’ said Butler, pointing to the jade ring. ‘Where did you get that?’

 

Juliet smiled. ‘My own idea. A nice little surprise for anyone who underestimates females.’

 

Butler pulled into the set-down area.

 

‘Listen to me, Juliet,’ he said, catching his sister’s hand. ‘Spiro is dangerous. Look what happened to me, and, in all modesty, I was the best. If this mission weren’t so vital to humans and fairies, I wouldn’t let you go at all.’

 

Juliet touched her brother’s face.

 

‘I will be careful.’

 

They climbed on to the walkway. Holly hovered, shielded, just above the throngs of business travellers and holidaymakers. Mulch had applied a fresh layer of sunblock, and the stink repelled every human who was unfortunate enough to pick up his scent.

 

Butler touched Artemis’s shoulder.

 

‘Are you going to be all right?’

 

Artemis shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know. Without you by my side I feel as though one of my limbs is missing.’

 

‘Juliet will keep you safe. She has an unusual style, but she is a Butler, after all.’

 

‘It’s one mission, old friend. Then there will be no more need for bodyguards.’

 

‘It’s a pity Holly couldn’t have simply mesmerized Spiro through the Cube.’

 

Artemis shook his head.

 

‘It wouldn’t have worked. Even if we could have set up a link, a fairy needs eye-to-eye contact to mesmerize a strong mind like Spiro’s. I don’t want to take any chances with this man. He needs to be put away. Even if the fairies relocated him, he could do some damage.’

 

‘What about your plan?’ Butler asked. ‘From what you told me, it’s quite convoluted. Are you sure it’s going to work?’

 

Artemis winked – a very unusual display of levity.

 

‘I’ m sure,’ he said. ‘Trust me. I’m a genius.’

 

Juliet piloted the Lear jet across the Atlantic. Holly sat in the co-pilot’s chair, admiring the hardware.

 

‘Nice bird,’ she commented.

 

‘Not bad, fairy girl,’ said Juliet, switching to autopilot. ‘Not a patch on fairy craft, I’d bet?’

 

‘The LEP doesn’t believe in comfort,’ said Holly. ‘There’s barely enough room in an LEP shuttle to swing a stink worm.’

 

‘If you wanted to swing a stink worm.’

 

‘True.’ Holly studied the pilot. ‘You’ve grown a lot in two years. The last time I saw you, you were a little girl.’

 

Juliet smiled. ‘A lot can happen in two years. I spent most of that time wrestling big hairy men.’

 

‘You should see fairy wrestling. Two pumped-up gnomes having it out in a zero G chamber. Not a pretty sight. I’ll send you a videodisc.’

 

‘No, you won’t.’

 

Holly remembered the mind wipes.

 

‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘No, I won’t.’

 

Eoin Colfer's books