Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code

It was at that moment, dramatically, that a voice emanated from the C Cube’s micro-speaker mesh.

 

‘Mister Spiro?’ said the voice. ‘This is Ireland calling. Do you read, Mister Spiro?’

 

Jon Spiro was not a man who spooked easily. He hadn’t seen a horror movie yet that could make him jump in his seat, but the voice coming out of that speaker almost knocked him off his chair. The quality was incredible. Close your eyes and you’d swear that the person speaking was standing right in front of you.

 

‘You wan’ me do anshwer da?’

 

‘I told you to shut up! Anyway, I don’t know how to answer this thing.’

 

‘I can hear you, Mister Spiro,’ said the voice. ‘You don’t need to do anything. Just talk. The box does the rest.’

 

Spiro noticed that a digital wave meter had appeared on the Cube’s screen. When he spoke it registered.

 

‘OK then. We got communication. Now, who the hell are you? And how did you get this box working?’

 

‘The name is Mo Digence, Mister Spiro. I’m the monkey from Carla Frazetti’s team. I don’t know what kind of box you have at your end; I just have a plain old telephone.’

 

‘Well, who dialled the number then?’

 

‘A little kid I have here by the scruff of the neck. I impressed upon him how important it was that I talk to you.’

 

‘And how did you know to talk to me? Who gave you my name?’

 

‘Again, the kid. He was very eager to tell me everything after he saw what I did to the metal man.’

 

Spiro sighed. If the metal man was damaged, he would have to pay the Antonellis a fine.

 

‘What did you do to the metal man?’

 

‘Nothing permanent. But he won’t be aiming any guns at kids for a while.’

 

‘Why did you feel it necessary to damage your own partner, Digence?’

 

There was a pause on the other end while Mulch got the supposed sequence of events sorted out.

 

‘It was like this, Mister Spiro. Our instructions were to escort the kid across to the US. But Loafers goes crazy and starts waving a gun about. I figured this was the wrong way to go, so I stopped him. Forcibly. Anyway, the kid gets so scared that he tells me everything I want to know. And here I am now having a conversation with you.’

 

Spiro rubbed his hands together. ‘You did the right thing, Digence. There’ll be a bonus in this for you. I’ll see to it personally.’

 

‘Thanks, Mister Spiro. Believe me, the pleasure was mine.’

 

‘Is the Fowl kid there?’

 

‘Right beside me. A little pale, but not a scratch on him.’

 

‘Put him on,’ ordered Spiro, all traces of depression vanishing.

 

‘Spiro, it’s me.’ Artemis’s voice was aloof, but with an unmistakable tremor.

 

Spiro squeezed the air, as though it were Artemis’s neck.

 

‘Not so cocky now, kid? It’s like I told you, you don’t have the guts for this job. Me, on the other hand, if I don’t get what I want, then I’ll have Mo put you out of my misery. Do we understand each other?’

 

‘Yes. Loud and clear.’

 

‘Good,’ said Spiro, clamping a huge Cuban cigar between his teeth. It would be chewed to a pulp, but not lit. ‘Now, talk. What do I have to do to get this Cube working?’

 

Artemis’s voice sounded even shakier than before. ‘It’s not that simple, Mister Spiro. The C Cube is coded. Something called an Eternity Code. I can remotely access certain basic functions: the phone, MP3 player and so on, but to disable the code completely and unlock the Cube’s potential, I need to have it here in front of me. If you could just bring the Cube here…’

 

Spiro spat out the cigar.

 

‘Hold it right there, Fowl. Just how stupid do you think I am? I’m going to bring this priceless technology back to Europe? Forget it! If you’re going to disable this thing, you’re going to do it here. In the Spiro Needle!’

 

‘But my tools? My lab?’

 

‘I got tools here. And a lab. The best in the world. You do it here.’

 

‘Yes. Whatever you say.’

 

‘That’s right, kid. Whatever I say. I want you to fuel up the Lear jet that I happen to know you have, and do a quick hop across to 0’ Hare Airport. I’ll have a chopper waiting for you.’

 

‘I don’t suppose I have a choice.’

 

‘That’s right, kid. You don’t. But do this right and I might just let you go. Did you get all that, Digence?’

 

‘Loud and clear, Mister Spiro.’

 

‘Good. I’m counting on you to get the kid here safely.’

 

‘Consider it done.’

 

The line went dead.

 

Spiro chuckled.

 

‘I think I’m going to celebrate,’ he said, punching the intercom button. ‘Marlene, send in a pot of coffee, and no low-caffeine junk either. I want the real thing.’

 

‘But, Mister Spiro, your doctors said…’

 

Spiro waited for his secretary to realize who she was arguing with.

 

‘I’m sorry, sir. Right away, sir.’

 

Spiro leaned back in his chair, lacing his fingers behind his head.

 

‘You see, Blunt. This is going to turn out fine, in spite of your incompetence. I got that kid just where I want him.’

 

‘Yesh, shir. Mashderfully done, shir.’

 

Eoin Colfer's books