“Really, Coop? You know what I’m saying here.”
“I do, and I also know you’re putting too much on him. Breaking up with him for that reason is dumb. Hear me out,” he says as I go to defend my decision.
I slouch back down, closing my mouth.
“If you don’t want Kitt to be your main focus all of the time, then don’t let him.”
“That’s it?”
“I thought it was sound advice. You scared of buttons? You don’t touch buttons. You don’t want the cooker to burn you? You don’t touch the cooker.”
I stare at him, dumfounded. “Coop, have you taken anything?”
“No, I’m giving advice. You make things way too complicated, and I don’t know if that’s all the estrogen or what, but it doesn’t need to be that hard.”
“Sexist pig.”
“That’s not sexist. My mum and sister are the same, and me and the old man aren’t, so I’ve taken an educated guess.”
“Whatever.” I can’t argue that right now. I’m so over arguing, and I genuinely have no idea how online trolls picj fights all the time. I mean, what the fuck must be wrong with you?
“All I’m saying is, don’t let pride get in the way of happiness. It ain’t worth it, and when you’re old and looking back, you’ll wish you’d chosen to be shit-eating happy.”
So, I don’t know how eating shit and happiness go together, but Cooper is right. I suppose.
“He’s desperate to work this out, Tex. I’ve never seen him like this before. Honestly, I search for his balls nearly ten times a day.”
“Men are allowed to be upset following a breakup, Coop.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Will you talk to him?”
“Are you just here to do the bidding for your mate?”
He narrows his eyes and leans forward on the table. “I’m here to make sure you’re okay. I’m here because I missed the fuck out of you. But, yeah, I’m here for him as well because, as much as I think he’s been a whiny prick since you two got it on, he’s a mate. I love him like a brother. Please put my brother out of his misery and make up. And my misery, too.”
“Your misery?”
Coop rolls his baby blues. “He really has been a nightmare. You wouldn’t believe how many sappy songs I’ve vetoed.”
“How difficult that must have been for you…”
He shakes his head, dead serious. “Texy, you have no idea.”
I give him a look because what Coop’s been feeling is nothing compared to how hard missing Kitt has been for me. I didn’t know emotional pain could be physical. I feel it in every inch of my body.
It sucks.
“Where is he?” I ask.
“He’ll be outside in his car by now.”
I freeze. “He’s here?”
“Like he was going to stay at home if there was a chance you’d speak to him. I’m good to wait here if you want to go out there. A chick just walked in, and I want her to sit on my face.”
“What the hell?”
Cooper laughs. “Joking. I’ve got weeks of making you do that face at me to catch up on. I’ll just sit here and have a beer.”
“I honestly think there’s something wrong with you, Jack Cooper.”
“You, too, Texas Knight? Now, go see my boy, please.”
I don’t want to seem too eager, and I’m not entirely sure why, so I take another sip of my water, wishing I’d ordered something stronger. Then, I pick up my bag.
“No promises, Coop. I don’t know what I want yet.”
Sitting back, he tilts his head to the side and gives me a look that I know means he doesn’t believe me.
Okay, so you obviously do know what you want. Kitt.
But I don’t know if I can go through this again.
Screw you, fear.
Just go and see him, and you’ll know how you feel.
Turning, I head out the door. The car park is private, so we’ll be alone. Plus, Kitt’s black Range Rover has tinted glass. He looks like a bloody drug dealer but a private one. As I approach, the door opens. Kitt must have seen me coming.
My heart starts to do somersaults.
“Hi,” I say, jumping up and sliding onto the seat. I slam the door shut and bite my lip.
Oh my God, he looks incredible, and he smells edible. Being so close to him is the most beautiful kind of torture.
With a charming smile, he murmurs, “I was about to say that.”
I bite harder. I want to reach over. All I have to do is crawl onto his lap, and everything will disappear. There will be no pain, no wanting, no fear. He has the power to make everything better. But, more importantly, I think, he has the power to cut out my already weeping heart.
We lapse into a somewhat awkward silence that radiates off every surface. I don’t know if he wants to kiss me or run. I don’t know what I want to do either.
Kitt groans. “I hate this. I don’t know what to do, Tex. Can you tell me what to do here?”
“I don’t have all the answers. I wish I did.”
Most of the time, I feel like I don’t have any of the answers. And that’s because I don’t. The biggest decision I had to make until Kitt was whether I should have streaks of red put through my hair or not. I went for not.