Jennifer let us stay the night. Like we were fucking leaving anyway. Mark and I slept on the sofas in the living room. Texas was fun last night. Something’s changed with her. She was more assertive and confident. Those aren’t things she’s particularly struggled with in the past, but now, she’s as strong as iron.
It looks good on her.
But then everything—and nothing at all—does.
It’s 5:34 a.m., and I can’t sleep. Mark is awake, too, but so far, he’s not let on. I want to go and find Tex, but waking her is never a good idea. Kind of how you never slash your own leg and then run into a lion’s den. For weeks, I’ve missed her more than I care to think about, and now, she’s so close that I can feel her presence.
Last night, she acted like our relationship never happened. We were friends.
Today, I need to fix that.
“Can’t sleep either?” Mark says, breaking the thirty-minute silence.
I sit up. “No. Do you think she’ll come home today?”
“She doesn’t have a choice.”
“Except that, at nineteen, she does.”
Almost twenty. Mark needs to let her go.
He sighs, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I know.” His voice is a scratchy groan. “I don’t have to like it.”
“You don’t, but if you don’t want to ruin your relationship with her, you’ll do it with a smile.”
“When the fuck did you grow up?”
Laughing, I look up to the ceiling. “About the time I fell in love with her.”
He smiles. “Do you think she’s really thought this modelling thing through?”
“Yes, I’m not a baby,” Texas says, folding her arms.
Mark and I both jump at her sudden presence.
Jesus, she’s beautiful. Even when she’s angry. Especially when she’s angry.
“I’m sure about my career, and I know things will change for me, again, but I’m prepared for that. This is my choice,” she says.
“Do you think you’ll be able to deal with the extra attention better than you did with these ridiculous baby rumours?” I ask.
“I dealt with that fine. You know that’s not why I left.”
“Bullshit,” Mark says, standing up. “When someone is talking about the person you love, it gets to you. Maybe not right away, but it does.”
“You speaking from experience there, Dad?”
Yeah, is he?
“There was a big fallout after Jennifer headed back to work, and you came with me. Your mother and I will never be together, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel anything for her back then. I hated people talking about it.”
No one speaks for ten long seconds.
Mark clears his throat. “From those first articles that said you’d probably end up damaged, I vowed to make—”
“Dad, stop. We can’t keep going over old ground. It doesn’t matter what anyone has said about any of us. Their opinions don’t matter. I just need us to be okay.”
Does that stretch to me and her, too? Because I sure as hell can’t do this without her.
Apparently, I’m a pathetic twat alone.
“She’s right. We need to draw a line in the past right now and move forward,” I say.
“And what does forward look like?” Mark asks.
I have no idea what she wants, so I look at Texas. The ball is completely in her court.
She sighs. “No more arguing. I want things to go back to normal.”
Normal before or after we got together?
I take a breath, trying not to get my hopes up. “Does that mean you’re coming to Australia?”
She shrugs. “I’m not sure yet.”
“You want to stay here?” I ask in disbelief. Fucking hell, a month ago, she couldn’t stand the idea of living with Jennifer, and now, she wants to make it permanent.
“I’m not sure, Kitt.”
“What will you do here?” Mark asks.
“Well, there’s that campaign for Whitney, for one. I have a job now. I can’t chase rock stars around the world for the rest of my life.”
She could. She doesn’t want to. I love that she wants to do her own thing. I’d never want her to be unfulfilled, but I hate that the thing she wants will take her even farther away from me. She’ll have shoots, and I’ll have tours. It’s just another excuse for her to say we won’t work.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I won’t be removing anything in front of a camera again. You guys can go do whatever publicity you’ve got before Australia.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. “Yeah, not happening,” I say. “Cut the bitchiness, Tex. It doesn’t suit you.”
She grinds her teeth and straightens her back. “You can leave, Kitt. We’re done here.”
“You know what? I will go,” I snap, getting up and pushing past her on my way to the door. I don’t need this.
But shit. I do.
I freeze.
She wants me to leave her, to walk out, so she doesn’t have to admit that breaking up with me was bullshit.
Don’t leave. This is a mistake. She’s testing you. Show her you’re forever.
Mark is shaking his head at her when I get back in the living room.