“Yeah, I’ll give you that one. I wonder who will tame him,” I say.
“Cooper with a girlfriend? Nope, I can’t even imagine it.”
Laughing, I sit back and wait for Cooper to get ready. This had better work because there is no way I’m leaving this country without being back on with Texas. I’m willing to do whatever it takes.
Ten minutes later, Coop barges out of his room, dressed in tight leather trousers and a black T-shirt.
“You robbing something?” I ask.
He points at me. “I pull this off, tosser.”
“No, you look like a giant dickhead,” Milo says.
“He’s right, man,” I add.
“Do you want me to help you?” Cooper asks. “Because, right now, I’d be telling Texas to run.”
“All right, all right.” Holding my hands up, I smirk. “You look…dark.”
He deadpans. “Good enough. I’ll text you when I’m there. I actually want to see her for a bit before I’m on her shit list.”
I salute as he grabs his phone and heads out the door.
“Think you’ll win her over?” Milo asks.
“I have to, man.”
We belong together. There’s no way either of us will last long without the other. I’m tired of feeling like I have half of a heart, of waking up with a hole in my chest, of feeling like I’ve accomplished so much but have nothing.
There are replacements and make-dos for a lot of things in life. Love is not one of them.
TEXAS
MONDAY, AUGUST 3
NOTTING HILL, ENGLAND
I leap up the second I see that blond head. My God, I have missed Cooper.
He looks around, light eyes scanning the crowded small restaurant. He settles on me, and his smile melts my heart. Opening his arms, he dashes past a table of two gawking women. I waste no time in jumping into his arms. Everything about him is home. They all are.
None more so than the one who’s broken my fragile heart a hundred times over.
The last occasion is down to you and your fear.
But I can’t feel the way I did when I broke up with Kitt again. I wouldn’t survive.
“I missed you, girl,” he says, sweeping me up in his strong arms and squeezing the life out of me.
“I missed you, too,” I whisper, sinking into his chest.
His body tenses. He grips my upper arms and pulls back. “What the fuck then, Texy?”
I groan. It was only a matter of time before things turned serious. “Can we sit? I think I’ll need wine for this conversation,” I reply, looking away and taking my seat.
The table is square, and instead of sitting opposite, Cooper plonks down to the side. I have a feeling he wants to be closer, so he can grab me if I run. I’m not going anywhere. If I’ve learned anything from the topless incident, it’s you can’t run from inevitable conversations.
“Let me sum up,” he says. “You come back to England, you break up with Kitt, you go off the rails, you pose topless.”
“Yes, great, let’s do bring that up as often as possible,” I reply sarcastically.
“I ain’t complaining about the topless thing—although it would’ve been nice to see some nipple.”
I glare. His eyes widen, but his lips quirk.
Holding his hands up, he says, “We’re moving on. I get coming back here. You needed time and space, and you wanted Kitt to rock without worrying. That’s sensible. But why did you break up with him? You know women were going to come out of the woodwork when you guys came out.”
“They’re not the problem, not even the one who claims to have his baby. I trust Kitt, and I know he has a colourful past.”
The pregnant bitch hasn’t been heard from since, but as of yet, she’s not retracted her story. People are bored of it now anyway. Kitt will prove he’s not the dad in due course, and that’ll be it.
“I’m not seeing the issue, girl. You’re going to need to spell it out for me.”
“It was too stressful for us both. This tour is crazy full-on, and he had no time. I found myself being consumed by him and what he’s doing and when he’d eventually get around to calling me back. And I wasn’t worrying that he was doing someone else. I knew that would never happen. I didn’t like the person I was becoming, Coop. My life became planning when he’d be done with appearances, sound checks, performances, and everything else that goes along with it. Then, when he’d call or I’d wake up and find a quick ‘I’m sorry’ text, I’d feel so deflated. I love Kitt so much, but I don’t want him to be the only thing I love.”
Something thick lodges in my throat.
Don’t you dare cry.
I’m avoiding the whole thing as much as possible. I won’t let myself think about him too much because the pain leaves me breathless. Logically, I know I can’t skip to the end, but right now, I can’t deal with it. I wish there were a switch you could flick to fast-forward time. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be over Kitt Daniels. He’s my first everything.
“You don’t love me?” he says, holding his heart and faking hurt.