“Ruby loves all of these guys. I wouldn’t trust her judgment,” I say.
“Did you come here to rag on me about Ryan?” she asks. I shift uncomfortably in place and blow out a heavy breath. I’m taking my shit out on her, and that’s not cool.
“Sorry, I just—Duke told me about all the shit that’s gone down,” I admit. She’s had the shit beat out of her already. The last thing she needs is my judgmental ass giving her crap.
“Oh,” is all she says. Her eyes travel around the room before they land on mine. She shrugs and sighs. Embarrassment shows in her features, and now I feel even more uncomfortable. It’s like I can’t say anything that’s not going to upset or embarrass her. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“I mean, whatever. If you’re happy,” I say.
“That’s the thing, I’m not exactly happy,” she says. “Everything that’s going on right now makes happy kind of difficult. But Ryan is really good to me, and I do love him. When he lets himself be, he’s funny and kind.”
“And the rest of the time?” I ask, giving her a sarcastic smile. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
“Love doesn’t work that way. I don’t get to pick and choose which parts of him I love,” she says. A smile returns to her face, and she slaps her knee. Scrunching her face up in sudden pain, she takes a moment to blow out a strangled breath. When her face refocuses on mine she shakes her head.
“I swear, I keep finding more bruises,” she says.
“Your life is so fucked up right now. I don’t even know what I’m allowed to ask about,” I admit. I mean, I want to ask her about her brother, and more about Ryan—God help me—and even about Ian. I know he’s not handling shit well, but the curiosity is going to kill me.
“You can ask me anything.”
“How are you dealing with the mom thing?” I ask. She lets out a short laugh, winces, and then settles back against her pillows that prop her up.
“I wasn’t at first. There’s nothing like a good old fashioned ass beating to put things in perspective,” she says honestly. “My adoptive mom died a long time ago, and I feel really guilty about this, but I’m kind of angry at her. She did everything my father ever wanted her to—apparently including raising his mistress’ kids—and she wanted me to be like that, too. It’s like I’m betraying her, but I’m really happy to be getting to know Ruby as my mom.”
“She’s pretty awesome,” I say. Alex’s head tilts to the side.
“I thought you didn’t like my mom.”
“It’s not that. Everything is complicated,” I say. After what Duke told me, I’m feeling more sympathetic to Ruby’s plight. She’s been mom to so many of us rejects. She deserves better than I’ve given her in recent years.
“Doesn’t seem complicated to me. Duke likes you and you like him. And I like you, and he’s growing on me. I think you guys could be good together,” she says.
“What is this, the biker love connection?” I say in a snarky tone. “But really, I can’t talk about the thing with me and Duke.”
“Can’t or won’t? I’m stuck in this house, and that means my primary source of information is Ryan. The only updates he wants to give me are ones that involve nudity. What he’s told me is a total mess.”
“What have you heard?” I ask, leaning in. I may not have many friends, but I know better than to pass up the chance to get a little dirt on what the club thinks is happening with me and Duke. Quite frankly, it might help me sort out my own head. I’m so into finding out what Alex has to say that I barely hear the heavy boots on the hardwood floor as they near the bedroom.
“You ladies talking about me?” Duke appears in the doorway, making me jump halfway to the ceiling. A smirk appears on his face as he nods at me.
Alex purses her lips and smiles big at Duke. She says, “Word on the street is you’re wifed-up.”
Duke nods and grins, saying, “I got me an Old Lady, and you got yourself a prick.” Alex scowls at his comment, but Duke just looks to me with an apologetic smile on his face, saying, “Sorry, babe. We gotta go.”
My face heats, and I scramble off the bed. Despite having enjoyed my time with Alex, my brain isn’t in the best place to gossip about relationships right now.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I turn to Alex and say.
“Visit me?” she asks. Begrudgingly, I nod and allow Duke to lead me out of the room. Maybe my next visit I’ll even say hi to Ruby and Jim.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and when I check to see why, there’s a new text waiting for me from Darren. WHERE ARE YOU, it reads. I send a quick text back saying HAVE 2 CANCEL. GONNA LET CLUB TK CARE OF DAD. BUT THNX.
Chapter 20