No piece of paper is going to make that any different. If she’s not ready, I just have to back off. Grady married Layla and that shit fell apart, so it’s not like marriage is foolproof. I just feel this desperate need in my bones to keep her forever. When I got her nickname tattooed above my heart, I thought that would make her give in to marrying me. Because tattoos are more permanent than marriage and a fuck lot harder to get rid of. But she didn’t budge. She just said she wanted something similar one day soon with my name above her heart. I may not have my ring on her finger, but once I have my name inked on her body, I’ll feel a little bit better. That when she says forever, she understands what that means. It means that we live together until one of us stops breathing. And even then we don’t move on. Because I can’t bear the thought of her touching someone else. Or making them smile. Or giving them her body. When I say forever I fucking mean it more than anything I’ve ever meant.
“I know you’re not ready,” I say. Shit. I’m turning into some kind of sappy fuck. Normally all these feelings piss me the fuck off, but I’m just so goddamn grateful that she finally hit one fucking target that I’m saying shit I don’t unless my dick is wet.
“I’m ready,” she whispers Her eyes flutter for a moment, and then she rights herself and toughens up. But she’s lying. Cub’s emotional and she’s fucking lying, just saying what she thinks I want to hear.
“No, you’re not. And I’ll wait until you are.”
She nods slowly and bites at her bottom lip. With a deep breath, she thinks on that before responding.
“Once it’s safe.”
That could take a damn long time, but if it’s what she needs, it’s what I have to give her.
“Okay,” I say.
She rests her head on my shoulder and peers up at me. The angle is awkward, but she’s comfortable and her body is relaxing into mine, so I deal with it and look down at her. She’s more than just pretty. She’s beautiful. And she’s mine.
“I, Alexandra Mancuso, take you, Ryan Stone, to be my man.”
They’re not exactly wedding vows, but they’re fucking close. I can’t say anything as I watch her lips form the words. A year ago I never would have thought I’d be here, especially with the chick Ma spent the last twenty years mourning. I didn’t know I could feel this shit. She does things, and it’s like she’s peeling back layers and discovering a human being under the motherfucker I have to be for the club. He’s a man who’s finding out he can not only love, but love deeply. A man who now knows that the love between Ma and Pop can be recreated.
And it has been.
“Forever,” I whisper and press my lips to her forehead, remembering what she did when she told me she loved me for the first time. A kiss to the forehead is a promise of protection. I’ll protect her—every part of her—for always.
Because this shit is forever.
That’s my solemn fucking vow.
The End