The Story of Me (Carnage #2)

“Well, good morning, Georgia, my love. I didn’t realise you were here again. Would you like some eggs?” For some reason, the word eggs, combined with Cam’s wink throws me.

“Err, I, no, no thank you, Marian. I’ll just have a coffee.” She raises her eyebrows as she turns to look at Cam. I take the stool next to him and sit down.

“Three eggs, scrambled, salt, pepper and a knob of butter please, Marian, and she likes the wholemeal bread, well toasted.” He sips on his coffee and looks at me over his cup, waiting for my reaction. My belly rumbles loudly. Perhaps I am hungry and it’s just all the emotions galloping around inside my head, heart and belly that are making me think I’m full.

“D’ya know what, Marian? That sounds delicious. I think I am hungry after all. Thank you.”

“Well done, Kitten. See, that wasn’t hard, was it?”

I raise my eyebrows, widen my eyes and say to him, “When, in the shower or the bed? Felt pretty hard to me.” He spits his coffee just as Marian is putting mine down in front of me.

“Cameron,” is all she says and fetches a dish cloth to wipe up the mess. Cam sits and stares at me in silence as Marian says, “Oh, by the way, Georgia, I’ve washed and dried your clothes. They’re folded up in the laundry. I’ll just fetch them.”

“Thank you, Marian. I’ll grab them after my breakfast.” Cam is still staring, not saying a word. “What?” I ask.

He gives his usual headshake, “Nothing, nothing at all.”

We eat our breakfast, mostly in silence before I go upstairs and put my own clothes back on. They smell clean and fresh and a little bit like Cam. My belly squirms a little bit as I sit on the edge of the bed and pull on my Uggs.

When I get back downstairs, Cam is in his office and it sounds like he’s talking to Benny. I don’t want to interrupt so I sit at the bench and watch Marian make a lasagne.

“D’ya cook, Georgia?” she asks me.

“Yeah, I do. I actually enjoy cooking.” She turns around and looks at me for a moment and I wonder what she’s thinking.

“You didn’t have someone do the cooking for you then, or a housekeeper or anything, when you were married, I mean?” I instinctively look over my shoulder, wondering if Cam can hear this conversation. A little wave of panic rushes through me, as well as the usual guilt. Is this wrong, sitting here in Cam’s house, talking to his housekeeper about my husband? “Sorry Georgia, I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry…” She folds up a tea towel as she speaks.

“No, no, it’s fine. I… It just feels a bit disrespectful to Cam to be talking about Sean.” I swallow down the ball of emotions rising from my chest to my throat. “It feels a little disrespectful to both of them actually.”

“I lost my first husband. He was killed in a car accident,” Marian states.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She nods.

“Thank you. It was a long time ago now, thirty-odd years. He was only twenty-nine. We both were. I at least had my children though. They were a great comfort, and luckily we were well insured, which is a massive help when you’re left on your own with young children to raise.” I watch as she unfolds the same tea towel and then refolds it, finally putting it down next to the sink. “I never imagined I would love anyone again. We’d married at seventeen, known each other our whole lives. He was the other half of me, but just six months after his death, I met Tony and I knew, I knew in an instant there was a connection and I run a bloody mile.” I smile at her admission and nod.

“Well, it’s a bit different with Cam. We were together before, a long time ago.” I blush as I tell her this for some reason.

“Oh, I didn’t realise.” She folds her arms across her chest and leans back against the sink.