Theo said I got it to signify our love. My lips tighten. I may have loved him before, but he’s obviously not the same man I fell in love with all those years ago.
I turn back to fully face the mirror, and my eyes fall on a scar. I run my finger along the line of skin that’s about four inches in length on my lower stomach. Theo told me I was cut with a shard of glass when I was attacked and needed seventeen stitches. Pain etches itself across my chest thinking about Luca being the source of this scar.
I turn away from the mirror and wrap the towel around me, hoping Theo isn’t back yet. Opening the door, I listen and hear no sounds coming from the bedroom or the rest of the house. Letting out a sigh of relief, I leave the bathroom and go to Aria’s bedroom. I silently thank God she wasn’t here tonight. Grabbing a fresh pair of pajamas, I slip them on, then go back for the ones I left in the bathroom. I take them to the trash can in the kitchen, knowing I won’t be able to wear them again because of the blood now staining the material.
With my hair still wet and tangled, I pull it up into a ponytail, already not looking forward to the mess it’ll be tomorrow, but too tired to brush it out tonight.
There’s no way I’ll be sleeping in Theo’s bed tonight, so I go back into Aria’s room and climb into the twin bed. Aria’s scent hits me, and an ache settles inside me. I don’t want to stay here anymore, but I also don’t want to leave Aria. I’ve come to love her in the short time I’ve been here.
Feeling helpless on what to do, I decide to think about it tomorrow. My eyes feel heavy, so I close them, letting sleep take away my troubles for the night.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Luca
I SIT IN MY TRUCK behind an old rusted Astro van two houses down from the one I’m watching, my thumb impatiently tapping at the steering wheel. I glance down at my phone to check the time, then look up just as Theo walks out the front door to his car. Backing out of the driveway, he heads in the opposite direction of where I’m parked. I wait ten minutes before pulling away from the curb and parking in front of the brick house.
As I make my way up to the front door, I notice the grass needs to be cut. It’s not as bad as most of the yards in the neighborhood, but it’s still being neglected. Typical Theo. He doesn’t cut it until he’s forced to.
I rap on the door and stand back, waiting for Jules to answer. I don’t worry about Aria being home, as I saw her get on the bus on the corner an hour ago. I know I shouldn’t be here, but Ella called me yesterday and told me when she spoke to Jules over the phone she sounded weird. I was glad to find out that the two women have formed a friendship. Ella has a big heart when she wants to and when she found out that Jules’s parents have written her off and that she has no one else, she softened toward her quickly. I don’t know how often they talk, but I do know Ella has come to the house a couple times to hang out and has even taken Jules to one of her appointments.
Hearing footsteps on the other side of the door, I brace myself to see Jules again. It always shocks me after days of not seeing her. The woman is gorgeous, and each time my eyes land on her, it seems her beauty grows. But it’s not her looks that shock me, it’s the hyperawareness I feel each time. Like there’s a livewire that’s attached to both of us and when we’re in the same room it sends a wave of electricity through me. And the possessiveness that damn near wipes away all reason.
When the door doesn’t open, I raise my hand to knock again, thinking maybe it wasn’t footsteps that I heard. Movement off to the side has me looking at the window, seeing the curtain flutter.
“Who is it?” Jules’s voice carries through the door.
My brows lift. “Open the door, Jules. I just saw you looking out the window. You know who it is.”
“What do you want, Luca?”
I frown. Something’s not right here. “I want you to open the door.”
“I… can’t,” her muffled voice says hesitantly.
“What in the hell do you mean, you can’t? Are you okay?”
It takes her moment to answer, and when she does, I hear the quiver in her voice. “Because I don’t want to.”
I take a step back and glare at the door, not understanding what she means. Why in the fuck wouldn’t she want to answer the door? It’s clear it’s me she doesn’t want to face.
Understanding dawns, and my stomach clenches.
“You remember,” I state hoarsely.
“No.” Her tone isn’t much stronger than mine. The answer comes out pained, which sends a sharp stab to my chest. “Theo told me.”
I stuff my hands inside my pockets to keep from punching the brick beside the door. I don’t know what pisses me off more; Theo telling Jules what I did or me doing what I did. I should have known Theo would tell her eventually if she didn’t remember on her own. I’m actually surprised he hadn’t done it earlier. Jules has a right to know, and Theo had the right to tell her, but damn if it doesn’t hurt. I don’t want her to think of me with fear or disgust.
Taking my hands out of my pockets, I put them on the door and hang my head in shame. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, but I know she hears me. The door is shit and thin.
I don’t expect an answer from her, but it still guts me when she stays silent.
“I don’t know what to say, Jules. All I know is I never meant to hurt you.”
Hearing her sniffle on the other side of the door plummets my heart into my stomach.
“Do you really not remember?”
“No.” I let out a harsh laugh. “I guess we both have problems remembering the darkest parts of our lives. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or curse.”
I lay my forehead against the door, and I swear I feel the warmth of her doing the same.
“I don’t want to remember,” she says softly. “I don’t want to imagine you hurting me.”
“Jules….” I stop, unable to form the words I want to. How do you apologize for something you don’t remember doing? I am remorseful, but the apology seems dishonest because I don’t know what I’m apologizing for.
Instead I think about the reason I’m here in the first place, or the excuse I gave myself to see her again.
I clear my throat and ask, “Are you okay? Ella said she called you and you sounded weird. Is everything all right with Theo?”
“Y-yes.”
Her stutter on the word convinces me she’s lying. I grind my molars as I think about Theo hurting her.
“What happened?” I ask, letting her know I don’t believe her.
She turns quiet again and the silence grates on my nerves and heats my blood.
After a moment, she replies, her tone firmer than it was seconds ago. It still doesn’t fool me.
“Everything is fine, Luca. I’m just trying to adjust to married life and it’s taking time. Please tell Ella I’m sorry for worrying her, but there’s nothing for her to be concerned about. I’ll call her later.”
“Please open the door, Jules, and let me see you. I promise I won’t come in the house. You can even keep the chain on. I just need to see you, not only for Ella’s sake but mine as well.”
A thump sounds on the door, and I hear her sniffle again before I hear the lock unlatch. The door opens fractionally, but the chain is still in place, preventing it from opening all the way. It both pleases me and sends another stabbing pain to my chest at seeing it, even though I suggested it. She should be cautious of her safety, I just hate it’s against me.
When she peeks through the small gap, I strain against the need to kick the door open so I can see her better. Even so, there’s enough of a gap that I can see she’s lost weight. Jules is already a small woman; she can’t afford to lose more. Her hair is piled on the top of her head, and the shallowness of her cheekbones is pronounced. There’s a frown on her pain-filled face.
“See,” she says quietly. “I’m fine.”