He laughed. “You’re sure saying a lot right now.”
I paced a circle, ignoring Titus scratching at the door. “I’ve waited for years to tell you what a piece of shit you were for leaving me like that. And now,” I looked at Titus and he cocked his head, knowing something was wrong, “and now I don’t even know what to say to you. I’ve always thought I would go into some big speech about how much you hurt me.” I took a breath and spotted a picture of Max and me at a football game. He was kissing my cheek and holding the phone out with one hand, snapping a selfie. A calmness settled over my soul. “But now, I don’t think any of it matters.”
There was a pause, both of us waiting out the other.
“Seeing you sitting there last night . . .” He cleared his throat again. “Seeing you again was like my worlds colliding. I’ve wanted to call you a million times since that night, but I’ve been so ashamed of myself that I couldn’t.”
“You should be ashamed.”
Blaine sighed heavily into the receiver. “Kari, I’m sorry. I just . . . meet me for lunch. Give me the chance to explain things.”
I snorted.
“By the time I wrapped my mind around what had happened, I heard you lost the baby. I just couldn’t call you after that. How could I?”
“You weren’t supposed to. You were supposed to be by my side. By our side.”
“You’re right,” he whispered. “Please, at least see me. Let me get this off my conscience.”
“Get what off your conscience? The fact that you left your fiancée and she was so devastated that she lost the baby she was carrying?” My voice betrayed me and broke on the last word. I sniffled back my emotions, determined to be strong. “Sorry, Blaine. I really don’t give a fuck whether you feel better about this or not. God knows I’ve lived with it for years—guilt, memories, feeling so empty. Things you’ll never feel. Things you’ll be saved from ever feeling.”
I opened the door and Titus rushed in, jumping up and resting his paws on my thighs. Max didn’t let him get away with things like that, but I appreciated his concern. I petted his head and he licked at my fingers.
“I’d say I’ll talk to you later, but I won’t. Don’t call me again, Blaine. Ever.”
MAX
I looked out the doorway of my office and into Sam’s cubicle. She was pouring over the bid list for all the jobs in the State of Arizona, highlighting everything that met a certain set of qualifications I had given her.
We had been at it for hours. Sam was in the parking lot when I arrived at seven and we got started right away. She hadn’t mentioned the night before and I hadn’t either. Instead, she had entered a couple of jobs into the system and researched a few specialty items while I had a meeting with Cane and then began the work I should have looked at the night before.
She looked up and caught me watching her. She smiled shyly before going back to the bid book.
I kicked back in my chair and tossed a quick text to Kari. I didn’t know what she was up to and I wished I was with her, hiking somewhere or sitting through some ridiculous movie she made me watch. She liked the cheesiest romantic comedies and even the action movies she liked were corny.
Dumb or not, I’d be with her and that would be better than being here.
I got back to the plans on my desk, doing some calculations and comparisons when Cane knocked on my door.
“Did you see the job in Tempe? Mill Expansion, I think it’s called. Bid’s due in a couple of weeks but it looks exactly like what we need.”
“Nah, I didn’t see that one.”
He sat a spec book on my desk. “Let’s take a look at this one. It’s pretty similar to the one we just lost. Grady actually called me about it this morning.”
“He did?” I asked, leaning forward. “That’s interesting.”
“It is, it is. Wade wants to meet for lunch and take a look at it. I think he feels bad that Chalgon got our number on the other one.”
“He should. That fucked us.”
Cane leaned against the door way, folding his sunglasses into the front of his shirt. “It’s going to be alright.”
“What? Cane Alexander turning into an optimist?” I chuckled. “I’ve obviously been working too damn hard. I’m hearing things.”
“Fuck you, Max,” he said with a huge smile on his face. “I just think things are going to work out. I don’t know how, but I do.”
“I hope so.”
“What’s going on?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up. If anyone on the planet could read me, besides my mother, it was Cane.
I opened my mouth to respond, but Sam peeked her head around the corner. “I’m finished,” she said softly. She looked from me to Cane, her smile fading as his expression didn’t budge.
“Do you have anything else?” she asked, looking back to me again and fidgeting nervously.