She looked at the floor. “So?”
“So . . . I’m sorry about that. You’d make an amazing mother and I’d have been honored to be the father of your children, but—”
“There’s no buts,” she interjected. “This isn’t a negotiation. Nothing you can say will change that.”
“Okay. What’s your point?”
She sighed and walked around the coffee table, putting some distance between us. “I won’t do this to you, Max. I won’t do this to your family.”
“Do what?” I said, getting a little frustrated. This gorgeous girl was gonna be the death of me. “I’m not asking you to do anything, Kari, but love me back.”
“I’m not going to ask you to love me when loving me means you can never have a family, Max. I won’t do it. Damn it, I love you too much to even consider that.”
“Too bad for you that it isn’t your choice, now isn’t it?”
Her eyes widened.
“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s gonna take a lot more than that to walk away from me.” I snorted, feeling myself get more than a little angry. “As a matter of fact, I don’t think there’s any reason I’d ever find good enough to let you walk away from me.”
Her bottom lip quivered and I saw a faint smile ghost her lips.
Believe it, sweetheart. Believe in me. It’s time you realize that we are forever.
“You can’t throw your life away,” she whispered, her hand wrapping around her throat.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Shaking my head, I smiled, “Throw my life away? Darlin,’ you’re gonna have to explain that one to me.” I took the few steps it took to reach her and grabbed her by the shoulders. She looked up at me through her lashes. “Stop it. Stop this nonsense,” I insisted.
“Why would you want to be with me?” Her voice trembled. “You come from this huge family and being with me guarantees you one thing—that you won’t have one.”
“Do you think that’s what I thought when I saw you? ‘Oh there’s the mother of my children?’ Because it’s not. When I saw you, I saw a beautiful woman. And when I talked to you, I heard an intelligent woman. And now when I see you smile, I see my soul being completed by the woman of my dreams. I hate it for you, that you’ll never know what it’s like to carry a child again. I hate that Blaine walked out on you. I hate that you’ve been scared to tell me this all along. But I know now and it doesn’t change a damn thing, Kar.”
“You don’t look at me now like I’m flawed? Your mother won’t look at me like less of a woman than Isa? She wants to be a grandmother and I’ll be robbing that from her.” She looked at the floor. “She’ll never forgive me for that.”
I tipped her chin back up. “You don’t give my mother enough credit. And no, I don’t look at you like you’re flawed. You’re as perfect as you were an hour ago.”
She half snorted, half laughed.
“You are.” I took a step back and narrowed my eyes. “It doesn’t matter to me if you can have a child. I don’t care if you aborted the baby.”
Kari’s eyes widened in horror, her jaw dropping. “What did you say?” I took another step back as her eyes lit with fury. “What did you just say to me?”
“I told you that Sam had said that Blaine’s ex had an abortion while he was gone.”
She stood straight, her eyes wild. “That’s a bunch of bullshit! That’s not what happened at all!”
I put my hands up in defense. “Okay. I didn’t know . . .”
“How could you believe that?”
“I didn’t know. I told you that at dinner, remember?”
Anger rolled off of her. “I hate him for saying that. I hate him for leaving me. I hate him for destroying me so much that I lost the baby.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” I said, trying to reach to her.
She turned away from me, shaking her head. “Yeah. I lost the baby. I lost the one-in-a-thousand chance I had because of him. I didn’t abort it, for heaven’s sake, although I’m sure he’d like to think that. Probably helps him sleep better at night.”
I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. I just wrapped my arms around her from behind and pulled her into my chest. I rested my chin on top of her head. “What can I do to make this better?”
She eventually gave up and nestled her head back against me, letting the closeness soothe her. “There’s nothing you can do.”
We swayed back and forth, looking out the window. The sun had gone down and the landscaping lights were starting to turn on. It looked peaceful and beautiful.
“If you want me to go, I will.”
“I want you to shut the hell up.”
“Max!” she exclaimed, not used to hearing me talk like that to her. But I couldn’t help it—I was over pretending that we were over, that this revelation was the end of us.