I forced a swallow passed my rickety breaths and against the uneven beats of my heart before opening my eyes. Max was looking right at me, an uncertain look on his face. An eyebrow cocked, I saw the look pass across his features when he realized that something was really wrong.
Before I was ready, if there would ever be a time that I was ready, a voice familiar to me on so many levels broke the silence. I knew that sound in the early morning, what it sounded like angry, the sound of it breaking with sorrow. I knew the pitch it took when he was telling a secret, the deep timbre of it as he came down from an orgasm, the intimacy that was laced through it as he promised the world.
“Hey, Sam,” Blaine said.
I tore my gaze from Max’s, unable to look him in the eye. I glanced up at the face I hadn’t seen for so long, the face I would’ve given anything to see so many days and nights. The face that had been the star of my dreams and my nightmares just the same.
“Hey, Blaine.” Sam’s voice sounded miles away. “This is Max,” I heard her tell him.
He looked to Max, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He hated meeting new people. “Hey,” he said nervously.
“And this is Kari,” Sam said sweetly.
He turned towards me in what seemed like slow motion. I couldn’t smile or frown or even act surprised. I just . . . waited.
He opened his mouth to give the standard “hello,” but he realized a split second before anything got passed his lips what was happening.
His handsome features were swept with a look of incredulousness. His forehead creased, his eyes adjusting as if he were seeing an apparition. He shook his head a second. “Kari?” he asked breathlessly.
I swallowed again, trying to paint the walls of my throat with something to keep them from cracking. The room began to spin.
“Oh, hell,” he said, gripping the back of his seat, not looking away.
I couldn’t look away, either. I had wished to see him so many times—some of those times to hold me again and some of them so I could beat the shit out of him. And now here he was, at the absolute wrong time. At the time I didn’t want to see him. In front of Max. Just when my life was beginning to go right. When things were starting to come together.
The room spun harder and I closed my eyes, forcing myself to breathe.
“Kari?” I heard him ask again, the disbelief just as heavy in his voice this time. “What are you doing here?”
“Do you two know each other?” I heard Max say.
“Yeah, that’s my fia—” Blaine began before catching himself. “You okay, Kari?”
I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.
Just get out of here.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I said, scooting my chair back and avoiding the eyes of everyone at the table. “I’m just not feeling really well right now.” I grabbed my purse off the floor and tossed it over my shoulder.
“Kari?” I heard Max and Blaine say, their voices lacing together and threatening to throw me into a fit of hysteria. The irony was almost too much.
I threaded my way to the front of the restaurant and through the front doors, the cool air hitting me in the face. I knew that I was being followed and I walked as fast as I could, fighting off the madness that was trying to boil up and over the confines of my control.
I spotted Max’s truck and instinctively made my way to it. I just got to the door when I heard his voice behind me. “Sweetheart? What’s going on?”
When I turned around, he was just standing there, concern etched across his handsome features. He reached for me and I wanted him to fold me into his arms, protect me from the world. From Blaine. From the things that had shattered me from the inside out. But I couldn’t do that because it would only ruin him now, too.
MAX
What the hell just happened?
She stood there looking wild and defeated, all at the same time. Kari was this paradox, a mixture of hot and cold, love and hate, agitation and salve, but this was different. This was laced with so much fear I could smell it. Taste it. Feel it.
Everything happened so damn fast I wasn’t sure what was going on. We were laughing and talking and then he came and she took off. It was obvious they knew each other, but in what capacity? Knots were forming in my stomach, multiplying by the second.
“You okay, baby? What’s the matter?” I took a tentative step towards her.
She looked over my shoulder and then down at the asphalt. “I want to go,” she whispered.
I dug in my pocket for the keys to unlock the doors. “Okay. We’ll go then.”
“Kari? What are you doing here?” Sam’s date walked up beside me. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t respond for a long moment. I could see her gather her resolve and when she looked back up, the wall was across her eyes. “Yeah. I’m good.” She looked from Blaine to me. “Can we go now, Max? Please.”
I pushed the unlock button and Kari yanked open her door.
Blaine took a step forward and grabbed the door. “Wait a minute. You can’t just leave.”