“It’s not like that.”
“Oh, sweetheart, it is. Think about it from my perspective for a second. I had to make a fool out of myself to get you to move in with me. You won’t marry me. You won’t tell me things about you. But Blaine—you got engaged to. You were gonna move across the damn country with him! You told him all the things I had to find out by pure happenstance. Then he calls you and I’m supposed to not be at all irked by that? Nah, sweetheart. Fuck that.”
Her jaw dropped.
I took another long pull of my beer.
The things that had begun to take root in my mind when I walked in the house were getting watered. Blaine was back . . . the love of her life was back.
“I can’t believe you just said that to me,” she breathed out.
“I love ya, Kar. I’ve loved you for a long time, probably since the first time I saw ya. But I’m starting to wonder if this is a one-sided thing, if I’m not some fill-in for Blaine because he walked away and I hate that. I hate that.”
A little gasp escaped her lips. “I can’t believe you’d ever think that.”
“What am I supposed to think?” I asked quietly. I didn’t want her to cry, but I didn’t want to be second best to some other guy, either. “I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get us where we are now. And then I see that you handed everything over to someone else. And now he’s back and . . .” I pulled the lid of my hat down over my eyes.
“And what? You think I want him? I can’t stand him! I wish he’d fall off the face of the planet. Don’t you see that?”
I tilted my head back and looked at her. She was perfection if I’d ever seen it. A cute button nose. High cheekbones and an olive complexion. Lips I wanted to kiss ’til the end of time.
“I see someone I love that I hope loves me the same. I’ve never given you a reason to not trust me. I’ve never given you any inclination that I’d walk away but you hold back from me. That is what hurts, Kari. Not that he called you. None of that shit. The fact that you don’t trust me. You won’t give me your heart. Like you did him.” I shook my head slowly. “That. Fucking. Hurts.”
She ran up the stairs and, for the first time, I didn’t chase her.
MAX
I was sitting on the couch, watching some guy go on and on about college football on ESPN. I didn’t really care about who was ranked number one, but I didn’t know what else to do with myself, either. I didn’t know whether to go upstairs to Kari or give her time to think about what I said.
I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. But I needed to know she wanted me, too—that she wanted me for me and not because she couldn’t have Blaine.
Or maybe she can have Blaine now.
An hour or so later, she came downstairs with a bag in her hand. “Cane just called and wants me to go stay with Jada tonight. He said he’s leaving in a little bit for Payson because he has an appointment with someone there tomorrow and he doesn’t want Jada alone.”
Cane has an appointment in Payson? I scratched my chin. The only person he has in Payson is his attorney. That can’t be good.
“Did he say what was going on?” I asked, wondering why he hadn’t called me.
She shook her head. “I didn’t ask either. But I’m gonna go . . .” She paused in the doorway before turning around and leaving.
“Kari!” I called out.
She paused but didn’t turn around.
“I don’t know what to do about everything that’s happened. I know the things you’ve told me don’t matter to me—it doesn’t make a lick of difference. But I need to know that you love me the same way I love you.”
I saw her shoulders crumble before she started walking again. “I love you, too.”
And I watched her walk out. I allowed the love of my life walk out of my house because I wasn’t sure if I was the love of hers.
I listened to her car start and heard her leave.
I threw my Corona against the wall and it shattered everywhere, pieces of glass scattering around the room.
Fuck that.
My jaw working overtime, I grabbed my keys out of the dish and jumped in my truck. I didn’t know where I needed to go, just that I needed to get outta there. I was angrier than I’d been in a helluva long time—angry with Kari for leaving without some sort of reassurance. Angry at myself for not knowing what to do. Pissed as hell at Blaine for breaking her heart but mad, too, that he came back in her life.
Do I let her go? Do I chase her the hell down and make her talk to me?
I was sitting at a light, trying to figure something the fuck out, when Cane called.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Hey, man. Listen, I’m sure you know this, but I gotta head to Payson tonight. I’m meeting with my attorneys in the morning.”
“Kari told me. What’s going on?”
I heard a door open and close. “I got a letter in the mail today.”
“And?” I prompted.