Clearing my throat, I tore my gaze from hers and looked back at the cash in my hands. Handling the money shot me back to the time Della had helped me tally up and charge for the hay bales at John Wilson’s place.
Not for the first time, I thought about him. How he was? Did he get another farmhand? Was his family okay?
And not for the last time, I wondered what he’d say now that I’d broken that self-restraint and claimed Della.
Would he understand?
Would he condemn me?
Would he say I told you so?
His warning of finding a way to keep Della as my sister ran through my head as the teller reeled off a figure, and I handed her a bunch of notes. I’d failed in that respect, but really, looking back…I think he knew. He knew there was something more between us, and that was why he’d sent us away.
Because eventually, even if we’d stayed there, we would’ve fallen into bed, and things would’ve gotten messy. Especially with Cassie in the mix.
“Have a pleasant day,” the checkout girl said blandly, already scanning items of the customer behind me.
I grabbed two bags and Della took one as we left the supermarket with its annoying beeps and bright lights and stood on the pavement where the sun reminded us we were wasting one of the last days of camping weather by being cooped up inside concrete and steel.
“I don’t want to be much longer, Little Ribbon.”
“Me neither.” She placed her well-used and scratched aviators on to avoid the glare and strode purposely toward the doctor’s. “How is this going to work, do you think?”
I shrugged. “Same way we’ve always done it. Our name is Wild. We’ll pay cash. We lost our driver’s licenses, so have no identification, yada yada.”
Slowing to a stop, she looked at me, biting her lip. “Hey, Ren?”
My heart pumped faster—as it always did when she looked at me like that. “Yeah?”
“On the form, if they ask what our relationship status is…um, what do I put?”
Goosebumps scattered over my arms as the answer I’d always given her delayed upon my tongue. ‘I’m your brother.’ That wasn’t just incorrect anymore, it was undermining everything good and perfect that’d happened between us.
Putting the groceries down, I tugged her bag free to join the rest, then ran my fingers through her hair until I fisted two handfuls right there on the street. “I never got to give the speech I’d prepared when I came back to find you. I had a whole promise laid out. How I’d come back because I couldn’t live without you. That even if it meant I couldn’t have you, even though it would rip my heart out and leave me bleeding until the day I died, I’d gladly walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. I would’ve given you away to another man, Della, because that was my job in your life. To ensure you had everything you ever needed in which to live. To be happy.”
I trembled as I kissed her softly. “But then I read your manuscript, and I realised I could be the one to make you happy, so I said other things. So much more important things.” Digging my fingers harder into her hair, I murmured against her mouth, “So, if they ask who I am to you…there’s only one thing you can say.”
“What’s that?” she breathed, shivering with matching goosebumps.
“That you share my last name. That you own my heart.” I kissed her hard and fast, long and lingering. “Tell them…you’re my wife.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
DELLA
2031
WHEN REN KISSED me that day on the street, he didn’t know it, but he gave me every hope I’d been nursing since we’d fought with the truth and gave in.
Our last name was as much his as it was mine, and I didn’t want to change. But how could we not when Wild had been a sibling address, and these days, we were so much more than that?
I’d teased with the idea that it could be our married one, sure, but until Ren said the words I’d been fighting, I didn’t think it was possible.
He successfully made me float on air, wrapped me up in daydreams, and sent me gooey with desire.
After that, I didn’t really care what we did as long as he was always near.
We went to the doctor, filled in forms, ignored side glances when we said we had no I.D, and proudly ticked the ‘married’ box without an ounce of shame.
To start with, the doctor refused to see us without some form of identification.
But Ren quietly took him aside and had a few words. I didn’t know what transpired, but after an hour or so wait, I was ushered in to see a doctor who asked my sexual history, if I was aware of the health risks, and prescribed me the pill to prevent pregnancy.
I asked for more than just three months’ supply, but he was adamant my blood pressure should be checked before a refill was given.
At the time, it frustrated me, but then I remembered it would be winter, and we’d most likely be holed up somewhere close enough to a town not to be a nuisance.
After we’d filled the script at the pharmacy next door, taken another handful of condoms from the fishbowl on the counter saying ‘Free: help your frisky selves,’ my stomach growled, and the diner with its sun-bleached specials in the window and paint-chipped green door reminded me of all the times Ren had found ways to make simple excursions into life-affirming treats.
Looking back, it was yet another moment I had no choice but to write down.
Mainly because of what happened next.
I’d dragged him into the grease-infused restaurant all while he grumbled and kept his eyes glued on the horizon where the tips of the trees waved at us in the chilly breeze. I’d forgotten how unsociable Ren was. After living in the city for so many years, he’d relaxed enough not to hanker for freedom or give the impression he was a trapped animal amongst a cage of glass and brick. But he’d been in his element for too long, and it was a visible chore for him to stay away for long.
I felt the same tug to leave, but I also had the tug of hunger. Taking pity upon him, compromising like a good couple, we agreed to order takeaway cheeseburgers and curly fries, eating the naughty but oh-so-good meal in the tiny park across the street.
Once our bellies were full and fingers salt-dusted from french fries, I stood and expected him to march directly back into the wilderness with me trotting to keep up.
However, his eyes landed on the junk store with its vow to beat K-Mart with its merchandise and prices and, with a determined look, he dragged me into the overly cluttered store with its scents of candle wax and plastic toys, smiling as if he had a secret.
This is why I had to write this.
This is why I was so madly in love with him.
“I want to buy you something.”
“Okay…” I narrowed my eyes. “What do you want to buy me?”
“Something you’re not allowed to see until I’ve found it.”
I looked around at the overflowing baskets of tea-towels and dog collars. This place had everything from shampoo and cookies to Easter and Halloween decorations. “And you’ll find it in here?” I raised an eyebrow. “What exactly are you up to?”
“Call it…a gesture of a future eventuality.”
I laughed, drawing the attention of the mid-twenties cashier sucking on a lollypop. “I think we need to get you back into the forest. The city is infecting you with retail therapy and commercial advertisement.”
“You did say shopping with me was a novelty.” He smirked. “While I find what I want for you, you find me something.”
“Like what?” My heart sprang into action, acting nonchalant but already rushing with images of finding the perfect gift. We’d shared many birthdays, but apart from my ribbon tattoo that Ren paid for, and the willow horse he carved back at Cherry River, we had no keepsakes or mementos. Not that we had space.