“Go on.” Ren pointed down an aisle full of ugly porcelain vases and weird bachelorette party gimmicks—let me tell you there were a lot of penises: penis straws, penis shot glasses, penis aprons, and unicorn horns shaped like dildos. “You trying to tell me I’m missing an appendage you want, Ren?” I couldn’t stifle my snicker. “’Cause you know, I rather like playing with yours so I can see the allure—”
“Honestly, Della.” He grabbed my bicep, yanking me into the aisle and away from the nosy sales keeper. “You always know how to get a rise out of me, don’t you?” His voice was brash with temper, but his eyes glowed like chocolate syrup.
Things with wings erupted in my heart as I stood on tiptoes just as Ren’s mouth crashed down on mine.
He kissed me so fierce and swift, I stumbled backward, directly into a shelf of penises with wind up legs that all bounced and whirred from the unwanted collision.
We broke apart, laughing as penis after miniature penis committed suicide off the shelf.
“You break it, you pay for it!” a voice yelled from the front of the store.
Ren and I only laughed harder.
Funny how memories like that—the ones that are so simple and stupid—are the ones that stick in your head with such clarity you can transport back to every smell, heartbeat, and yearning.
I want to share every detail, but I also want to rush and tell you what Ren bought for me and I bought for him. Because, honestly, they were two gifts that became our most treasured belongings. No mud, snow, dust, or grime could make us remove them. Even now, I still wear it. Even now, after so long.
“Ten minutes, Little Ribbon.” Ren kissed the tip of my nose. “And no peeking at where I go.”
“I have no idea what to get you, so I’ll be using those ten minutes wisely, not stalking you.”
“Good.”
“Fine.” I grinned. “See you at the cash register.”
“No, see you outside. Here.” Forcing a twenty-dollar bill into my hand, he kissed my cheek as if he couldn’t not kiss me whenever we were close. “Pay for what you find and meet me on the street.”
*
Sorry, I let memories take over and forgot to type.
Who knew writing about something so silly would be so utterly heart-breaking—not because it was sad but because it was so good?
So perfect.
So sweet.
I was so incredibly lucky, and I’m just glad I recognised just how lucky, rather than take Ren for granted.
The older I get, and the more I grow, I’m always struck by two things:
One, no matter my age, I always feel the same. No more adult than child or wise than stupid. I keep expecting myself to snap into a grown-up, but it’s never happened.
And two, nothing beat just hanging out with Ren.
Nothing.
No trip or gift or fancy new experience.
Nothing could beat just existing with the love of my life.
Remembering is almost bittersweet, but I suppose I better finish this particular chapter before I close my laptop and go in search of the very man I’m writing about.
I’ll skip over the mad rush through the carnival ride of junk and pointless figurines and
not bother to mention the adrenaline rush of finding such a random, childish, and exquisitely perfect gift that Ren would no doubt roll his eyes at and laugh in that affectionate, perfect way of his. The way that opened his entire face from suspicion and ruthlessness into a window of trust and devotion.
I couldn’t stand still as I waited for him on the curb and spun to face him when the junk store bell jingled.
In his hand rested a small, brown paper bag.
He gave me a half-smile. “This feels like a ridiculous idea now.”
“I think it’s the best idea you’ve had in a while.”
“You’re saying I lack good ideas, Della?” He narrowed his eyes, but behind his fake annoyance, laugher bubbled.
“Well, you have to admit the best idea we’ve ever had was sleeping together—and that was mine, so you’re welcome. You can thank me later, but right now, you’re handing over my present.”
“You’re saying all of this, our relationship, the fact that I told you to call me my wife, was your idea?” He put the shopping bags on the ground, delaying giving me the gift just like he had when he’d presented me with that tea-towel wrapped horse.
Delay tactics were Ren’s way of pretending he wasn’t nervous by covering it up with bluster and brawn.
“Yes, all mine. Been my idea for years.” Shooting my hand out, I held up my own paper bag. “Stop changing the subject and swap.”
He huffed dramatically, playing along with the familiar way we joked and ribbed. “I don’t know why I put up with you most of the time.”
“Too late now. You married me.”
His face lost its joviality, slipping straight into steely sternness. “Not yet I haven’t. But I’m working on it.”
My tummy let loose a torrent of floating balloons, filling my insides with helium.
“Here.” He passed me the gift, taking his in return. “It’s not much. But it’s a promise of more.”
I don’t mind telling you—mainly because you’ll have figured it out for yourself—but I wasn’t good at delayed gratification. I should’ve clutched that paper bag and paused in that moment. That delicious, perfect moment where the happiest future I could’ve ever imagined teased.
But I didn’t.
I was too impatient.
I ripped at the bag and tears instantly appeared as I tipped out a ring with a blue gemstone dancing in the sun.
It wasn’t real.
It wasn’t silver or gold or sapphire.
But it was the best thing I’d ever received.
Ren’s shadow fell over me as I swiped at the tears trickling down my cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Della Ribbon.”
“I know. Sorry.” I looked up with a watery smile. “I just…Ren, I—” I shook my head, grasping for words on just how perfect he truly was. How grateful I was that I had his heart. How I’d never take him or his thoughtfulness for granted. Ever. “I just…I love you so much.”
He smiled, tilting his head like an eagle would while pitying a poor mouse for falling in love with him. An eagle who could soar away at any moment and kill that little mouse with just one talon. “I know.”
Taking my hand and the ring, he slipped it onto the finger where engagement rings belong. “This is exactly what it implies. We’ve messed up the usual steps of a relationship. We met young. We loved each other in so many different ways before the one that truly mattered. But now that I have you, this is the only way forward. If it’s too soon, tell me. If you’re having second thoughts, better put me out of my misery now. But if you want me as much as I want you, then you don’t even have to give me an answer because I’ve already made it for you.”
Tugging me into his arms, he kissed me sweet. “Will you marry me, Della Wild?”
I shuddered in his embrace, more tears falling. “I gave you my answer the day I was born, Ren Wild.” Standing on tiptoes, I met his second kiss, deepening it until the street vanished, leaving only silky tongues, hitched breaths, and hands straining to touch secret places. “Yes. A thousand times yes.”
I could finish this chapter on that line. It holds quite a punch, and you all know how much Ren’s random proposal meant to me. But I want to tell you what I got Ren.
Pulling back from his arms, I was the one to open his bag and pull out the baby blue leather band with nine diamante letters threaded onto it—letters I’d chosen from tiny boxes full to the brim with alphabets and shapes, painstakingly deciding the best, simplest message for him to wear. For everyone to see.
He burst out laughing as I opened the clasp and hoped it would fit his large wrist.
It did.
Barely.
Stroking the glittery word-charms, he gave me a look so completely humble and awed I felt as if I’d given him the keys to my forever rather than a simple gimmicky bracelet.
And in a way, I had.
Because forever would never be enough. Not with Ren. Not with my soulmate.
Cupping his wrist, I kissed the springy hairs of his skin right above the bracelet. The charms blinded me with their crystal glitter as I breathed, “Della Wild Loves Ren Wild Forever.”
DW RW4EVA
CHAPTER THIRTY
REN
2018
WE STAYED IN the forest until the second snowfall reminded us that as much as we’d adopted the wilderness as our home, we had yet to find ways to grow fur coats and hibernate in warm burrows.