Giving me a cool look, he pointed toward the road. “Now, get off my property.”
Snatching Della’s hand, I helped her slip her backpack onto her shoulders and yanked her through the white picket gate. “Be my pleasure.”
Letting her go, I expected Della to take her hand back. Instead, she latched her fingers around mine—five of hers to my four—and tugged me forward. “Come on, Ren. Let’s go home.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
REN
2018
WE’D WALKED FOR miles.
At the start of our journey, we’d cheated and used our remaining coins to catch a bus to the city limits. Another few miles up the road, and we would’ve passed the dairy farm I used to work for. Even this far away, the air was tainted with the smell of silage and cow manure.
Instead of heading that way, we’d cut across some farmer’s paddock, jumping over fences and ducking through wire until we approached the outskirts of the forest.
The trees were thin and sparse on the border, steadily growing thicker and taller as shadows swallowed them up. Fallen leaves scattered on the ground while the scent of must and mulch soothed a little of my heartache, welcoming me back.
Della paused as I stepped into the embrace of bracken and branches. We hadn’t talked much since leaving David. Our conversation stuck to impersonal topics such as where I’d stored the rest of our cash, if I gave the apartment key back, and how many supplies we had before we had to return to a town.
My answers had been soft and monosyllable, my mind still hung up on David’s questions. I needed to do this. We had no choice but to try. But what if…?
What if we realised we didn’t work as lovers?
Where would that leave us? How would we ever go back to being family?
I waited for Della to look up at the towering trees, glance over her shoulder, then stride toward me with resolution.
Joining me in the shadowy world, she asked quietly, “Are you happy, Ren?”
I jolted, my heart forgetting its own woe and focusing on hers. “What?”
She dropped her eyes. “Are you happy?”
“What sort of question is that?”
She looked up, annoyed. “One that you’re not answering.”
“Of course, I’m happy. You’re here. I’m happy whenever you’re around.”
“That wasn’t my question, and you know it.”
I sighed, dragging a hand through my hair. “I am happy, Della. But if you’re asking if I’m happy about what we’re doing, I can’t give you that.”
Her shoulders slouched. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t know if I am yet.”
“Oh.” She flinched, breaking me all over again. I wanted to hug her, but after years of denying myself, I didn’t remember how to just reach out and take her.
“I don’t want to lie to you, Little Ribbon.” I closed the distance between us, capturing her hand. “We both need to adjust. I’m sure if I asked you if you were happy, you wouldn’t be able to give me a direct answer.”
“I could.” Her fingers twitched in mine. “I am. So happy. But I’m also petrified that any second now, you’re going to say this was a terrible mistake and march me back to David’s.”
“Believe me.” I chuckled darkly. “I won’t ever take you back to David. You’re mine. You always have been.”
“Phew. I thought you forgot that part.” She half-smiled and walked into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Never.” I allowed my embrace to envelop her, pressing my chin on the top of her head, smelling the subtle scent of melons. “You’ll always be mine, and I’m beyond happy to have you with me in the forest again. Is that enough for now?”
She nodded against my chest. “It’s enough.”
We stood together for a long while, once again committing to this and gathering courage to continue. Once we’d settled our heartbeats, we broke apart, striding deeper into the forest.
Our boots snapping twigs and backpacks creaking were the only sounds as we ventured farther. We didn’t talk—almost as if we were afraid of conversation and its power to make us wonder what would happen when we stopped for the night.
And now, we’d stopped.
For the past twenty minutes, Della had gathered firewood while I’d erected the tent that she’d given me on my twenty-seventh birthday. The same birthday she’d gotten her ribbon tattoo and I’d started a year’s disaster of sleeping with women I didn’t like, want, or need.
I’d despised myself for being so weak I’d sought companionship with women I couldn’t even remember.
Della dumped her armful of branches beside a fallen trunk I’d dragged into a small clearing to be a bench. Strolling over to me as I fixed the final tent peg into the ground, she put a hand on her hip. “Did you use this one while you were gone or our old one?”
“This one.” I stood, stretching out the kink in my back, cursing the aches in my chest. Just like old times, her gaze drifted to the bare flesh below my t-shirt and above my belt.
And just like old times, my heart smoked in desire and I shut down the aching in my blood.
But…I didn’t have to shut it down.
Not anymore.
How long would that habit take to break?
Della licked her lips as I lowered my arms. “I want to kiss you again, but I don’t know how.”
She seemed to melt into the forest floor. “Yes, you do. At least, you did before.” Her gaze darkened. “You still haven’t answered me about that, by the way.”
“And I’m not about to answer you now.” Closing the distance between us, I gathered her close, used my forefinger to tip her chin up, and pressed my mouth gently to hers.
Technically, our third kiss, but it punched me in the chest just as violently as our first.
I kept my mind locked on her. This Della. Right now. No Little Ribbon. No childhood recollections. No memories of anything but this.
Her breath caught as I kept the pressure soft and coaxing, even though everything inside said to crush her to me and let go of my control. No one was around. No one would know. But I would know, and that was the main issue we’d have to overcome.
Her tongue crept along my bottom lip, making my body harden. She arched up on her tiptoes, kissing me deeper as she slipped her tongue into my mouth.
My thoughts tried to flicker, a hologram of a little blonde angel laughing in the hay.
I groaned, licking her in invitation, killing the image.
“God, Ren.” Her arms looped around my neck as I dropped my finger from her chin and hugged her flush against me.
Our heads switched sides as our tongues danced and lips slid. Magic sparked from everywhere, electricity hissing, chemistry burning.
I couldn’t catch my breath as we clung to each other, kissing and kissing, losing track of time, not caring our boots crunched leaves as we stumbled together and righted, tripped together and stabilised.
And even though we attacked each other with a kiss, even though my mind threw memory after memory at me, and Della’s hands clutched my hair and tugged, and my fingernails dug into the soft curves of her hips and yanked her closer, we didn’t try for more.
We were happy conquering this small but unbelievable task. Learning each other, recognising each other’s flavour, remembering each other’s body in an entirely different way than the way we’d known before.
I sucked her bottom lip, biting gently as her leg pressed against mine, wedging against my hardness.
Her control snapped, and she tried to crawl into me.
I responded.
I couldn’t help myself.
Wrapping my arms tighter, I somehow marched her back and back, kissing and kissing, until her spine wedged against a tree, and I leaned into her.
Her fingers tugged viciously at my hair. My hips thrust in response, disobeying me. Her teeth nipped at my bottom lip, like I’d done to her, her tongue frantic for more.
Our kiss became frenzied and so fucking hot, I couldn’t stand it.
Breaking away, I held her at arm’s length as I struggled to get my breath back around the sudden vice of my lungs.