We glowered as if we were about to go to war to win the hand of some maiden we both could never hope to deserve.
Della inched between us, closer to me than to him but still playing mediator. “David, I want to re-introduce you to someone. Now, before you say anything, you already know my story, and at the time, you said you understood. I’m asking you to remember your understanding and not—”
“It’s okay, Della.” David let his arms uncross and dangle by his sides. “I get it.” His jaw clenched in a way that said he didn’t get it, but to his credit, he held out his hand for me to shake.
I studied him, not quite ready to let bygones be bygones. Della inconspicuously kicked my boot, and I flicked her a glance.
This meant something to her.
And my entire life was based on the undying need to give her whatever she wanted.
No matter how hard.
I shook his hand firmly, friendly, and my anger swirled into shame. “I know what you must think of me.” David opened his mouth to say something, but I snapped, “And believe me, you have every right.”
We broke apart as he said, slightly surprised, “Look, I only need to know two things, and then I can let what happened between us go. I can overlook how sad Della was the night she came to me for…comfort, and I can accept that she’ll be safe…out there.” His eyes trailed to the city’s horizon where the barest glimpse of trees beckoned.
“All right.” I nodded. “But first, I want to say something.” The words tasted sour, but I forced myself to continue. “Thank you for being the one Della ran to that night. I caused her pain and, out of anyone she could’ve chosen, I’m glad you were the one to help soothe it.”
I glanced at Della, my heart kicking at her wide shock and besotted disbelief. “I never told Della, but I blamed myself. Every damn day. And I left because I was selfish. I only thought of my pain, not the girl I’d promised to keep safe.” I tore my gaze from Della’s, glaring at David once again. “You kept her safe when I didn’t. And for that…I’ll always be grateful.”
I owed him that.
A thank you and an apology.
But I also owed him a warning.
My ability to accept that I was the reason Della ran into his arms only stretched so far. I could be magnanimous because we were leaving. We would never see him again, and that was the only reason I could lower myself to second best before him, to curb my anger and play meek.
But if we ever crossed paths again, if he ever tried to take what was mine…it wouldn’t end so civilised.
David shared a look with Della before clearing his throat. “Eh, thanks.”
I nodded sharply, the heaviness from my backpack reminding me that streets weren’t my home, and it was time to leave.
Holding up his hand, not as judgmental as before, he said, “Okay, the two things I need to know are—”
“David, we talked about this last night.” Della butted in. “And I told you, time and time again, nothing inappropriate happened. You know that. That’s the whole reason I came to you in the first place. He refused to do anything inappropriate. Please…don’t bring it up again.”
“I know what you said, and I trust you. But I want to hear what he has to say.” Pinning me with a glare, he added, “So, Ren. First thing I need to know is did you ever touch her improperly? Ever. In all the years you grew up together. Not an ‘oops’ as you were helping her from the pool or a ‘whoops’ when you were tucking her into bed?”
I stood taller, disgusted. “What sort of sick bastard do you think I am?”
“The one who’s taking a child he raised and hiding her in the jungle to do whatever he damn well wants.”
My chest puffed up, my hands clenching. “First, it isn’t a jungle. Second, she’s no longer a child. Third, I never once looked, touched, or thought of Della in any way other than brotherly affection until she—”
I cut myself off.
A kiss at thirteen was still a terrible thing to admit. It didn’t matter that the moment it all changed, it wasn’t my fault but hers. She’d been the one to ruin us, destroy me, and corrupt every day from there on.
And who knew?
If she’d never kissed me at the exact same second when I was having the most incredible dream of my life, I might never have had to fight changing thoughts and switching needs.
But she had, and I couldn’t confess her age or mine when it’d happened.
Della put her hand on my arm, squeezing gently. “Ren, it’s okay.” Turning to David, she sniffed. “You know enough. You don’t need to know anymore. And as for your second thing, I can guess what you’re about to ask.”
“You can?” He raised a fair-coloured eyebrow.
“Of course, she can guess,” I interrupted. “Everyone can guess what you really want to know. I want to know, too. But there isn’t an answer. Not yet, anyway.”
Della gave me a sad look, her fingers feathering on my arm again, this time in worry rather than consolation. “Does it scare you?” she murmured.
I completely forgot about David as I drank her in, saw her panic, tasted her concern. Unable to stop myself, I cupped her cheek softly. “I’m fucking terrified. But…we don’t have a choice now. We’ve gone too far to go back.”
She pressed her face into my hold, her gaze glassing liquid before she nodded. “I know.”
David sighed. “I guess you have just answered my question.”
We both turned to him, my hand dropping from her cheek. I’d forgotten how in-tune Della and I were. I didn’t know what it was—a lifetime lashing us together, heartstrings knotted together, or just a sixth sense.
Our connection used to wow me as a boy and now undid me as a man.
“You want to know what happens in the end,” I said quietly, staring him down. “You want to know if I’ll keep Della happy for the rest of her life. That this isn’t a mistake. That we aren’t doing something sick just for the hell of it. Am I right?”
David swallowed, his face falling in a way I hadn’t expected. “I care for Della, and for the past six months, I’ve hated you for hurting her. But you’re right. It is sick, and I don’t agree with it. And I hope to God I’m wrong, but I don’t think it will work between you. However, I also know you care for her. I see that. I just hope you understand what you’re getting into.”
My stomach clenched. “I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Anger turned his voice sharp. “You share the same last name. How’s that going to work now you’re no longer able to be called brother and sister? You know Della better than anyone, but how is it going to feel when you can’t separate the past from the present? What happens when it all goes wrong? What about when people find out?” He forced out a breath, reining himself in. “Look, you’re right. There is no answer. And I can’t protect Della from future heartache. It’s not my place. I just hope you know what you’re doing. Seeing as you’re supposed to be the parental figure in this scenario.”
Fuck.
His words rang in my head.
It wasn’t anything I hadn’t thought about before, but he’d returned all my revulsion and fear. What would happen when we could no longer use the same name? Was that why I was forcing her to leave? So the next town we came across, I could introduce her as my wife and not my sister?
Christ.
I spoke the truth when I said it was too late to go back, but maybe it was suicide if we continued going forward.
Dread settled acidic in my belly as David shrugged at Della. “Sorry, Del. I know I said I’d just say goodbye, but I couldn’t help it.” Gathering her in a hug, he kissed her cheek. “Forgive me?”
She sighed. “Nothing to forgive. I’m sorry I put you in this situation.”
“Don’t be.” His eyes glistened. “I’m really glad you found me that night.”
My hands curled, reminded yet again that David had touched her.
“I’m always here if you need me. Just please…be careful. Okay?” He kissed her one last time, then stepped back. “I want you to be happy, regardless if I don’t agree with how you find it.”