Her mouth dropped open. “But how? After what happened to you, what he did to you… If it wasn’t for me, you would have never been there…”
“There are too many what-ifs. It happened, and it was all him. Okay?” Tears welled up in her eyes and I felt my heart squeeze. Great, we were going to cry! “Don’t cry ’cause I will too.”
She wiped her eyes. “I can’t help it. Are you okay, though?”
Yes and no. “I will be.”
“Are you seeing anyone about what happened?”
“No, but I think I will soon.”
She nodded. “I think that would be a good idea.”
“Deep down, so do I, but I want a little bit longer living in denial.”
“Denial is popular.”
I smiled and leaned over the breakfast bar. “Totally get why. Shall we go back in there?” Becca had Henry, and they were in their own little world, chatting to each other, but I didn’t want to leave her alone too long. For me as well as her.
“Sure. We’re fine, right?”
I nodded and slipped off the stool. “Totally fine,” I replied and gave her a sideways hug as we walked back to the living room.
Sunday, April 10th (Present)
I walked downstairs when I heard Lewis’s voice. He had barely left my side since I got back, but last night I made him stay at his house. I was a big girl, and although I didn’t like sleeping on my own, I had to. Things were a little more normal. Well, on the outside anyway. Everyone still stepped on eggshells around me, but it wasn’t as bad now. I managed to get a minute to pee in peace before someone came looking for me.
Lewis beamed as he saw me and my heart skipped a beat. I still felt the same for him, but something had changed. Me. I had changed and I was no longer the girl he fell for. He told me that didn’t matter to him; he loved me just as much now as he did before, more even, apparently. We were trying, and as long as he was in, so was I.
“Hi,” he said and wrapped his arms around my back, burying his face in my hair. He kissed the side of my neck. It was more intimate than usual, and although he said he’d wait as long as I needed and even be celibate for the rest of our lives—which was ridiculous because what guy would do that—I felt guilty for not wanting to be with him.
“Hi. See? I made it,” I teased. I didn’t know what he thought was going to happen to me in the night if he wasn’t there. I slept—that was it.
He cocked his head to the side and his light eyes danced with humor. “Glad to hear it. You didn’t miss me, then?”
“Did I miss someone’s elbow digging in my side, you mean? Hmm, no I bloody didn’t.”
“Thanks. I feel so special,” he replied sarcastically.
I grinned. This was so normal—how we used to act around each other. “Anyway, outside.”
He frowned, bemused. “You wanna fight?”
“No, idiot. Bar-be-cue,” I said slowly.
“In April?”
I shrugged. “It’s warm, and Dad has a lot of steak.” Did you even need a reason to barbecue anyway? I liked being outside after being trapped underground for seven and a half months. At first it almost hurt; my eyes stung and I felt too exposed, but now I couldn’t get enough of the freedom—although I didn’t ever want to be alone and outside.
“Fair enough.”
“I spoke to Michael today.”
Lewis stilled, frowning. “What did he say? Was it about that fucker?”
That fucker was all Lewis would call Clover or Colin, whatever you wanted to call the freak. “Yes,” I whispered and continued, ignoring his less than amused expression, “apparently he’s responding well to treatment.”
“Hmm.” It was almost a growl. “You believe that?”
“I believe his doctors believe that.” Clover was intelligent and a master at acting normal. I had no doubt that he could pull the wool over his doctors’ eyes. It wouldn’t help him much, though; he wasn’t ever going to be released.
“You okay? You know no matter what happens, he’ll never get near you again, right?”
“Of course,” I replied, lying.
I smiled and turned to walk outside. Lewis followed, gripping my hand tight as if he wasn’t sure if anyone would be able to help me if Clover got out. I had no doubt that if he managed to escape or was released, he would want us back. To him, we were family, and he proved every time he kidnapped or killed just how far he would go for his family.
For now I wasn’t going to worry, though. For now I was going to eat steak with the people I loved and enjoy the warm April afternoon, and for a while, I wouldn’t have to pretend to be okay.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’d like to say a huge thank-you to my readers who have given me incredible and valuable feedback from the day I started writing The Cellar. To the Wattpad team, particularly Seema, Eva, and Allen, for everything they’ve done to get this book to print. To Sourcebooks for being taking a chance and publishing this book, especially my fabulous editor, Aubrey. And to my friends and backers, who have been there for me, offering support and the occasional kick up the bum as I went through rewrites, edits, and “should I kill this one?”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR