“So you really want to go to a party?”
“Yes.” There would only be about five or six of my friends there, chilling at Ethan’s and playing Guitar Hero. It was hardly a rave.
“Okay,” he replied slowly. “We’ll go.”
“I was going anyway.”
He grinned in amusement, making his eyes light up. “Stubborn as ever.”
“Back at ya. Becca’s coming too.”
He nodded. “Wait. Do you want to start getting ready?” He looked at his watch, and I knew what was coming. “There’s only five hours until we need to leave,” he teased.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t take that long and you know it.”
“I’m so proud of you.” What? Where did that come from? Complete change of subject. “You’re dealing with all this so well. Better than any of us.” Do I have another choice? I didn’t want to let him ruin my life. Deep down, I knew I was dealing with it too well. I had the number of a good therapist on a leaflet sent home with me from hospital. I was just enjoying being okay right now.
“I think I’m gonna have a bath before tonight.”
Lewis frowned. “Okay. Everything all right?”
“Yes, Lewis.” If I had a pound for every time someone asked me if I was fine, I would be a billionaire right now.
He reluctantly nodded and unwound his arms from around me. I looked back at him as I walked out. He looked worried, as usual. I still couldn’t believe he spent every day looking for me.
While I was down there, he had been in the house. I wished I had known that at the time, just to know I was so close to him again. That didn’t matter anymore because we were together now and I was back to normal—whatever normal was going to be.
I locked the bathroom door and looked in the mirror. I felt like two people. Lily was the one that was hurt and abused; Summer was the person I went back to. Clover had done that at least, made me disconnect from what happened by giving me a false name. How long would it be before Summer and Lily collided?
Clover was now locked up in a secure psychiatric unit. I wondered how he felt being locked up, if he felt scared and suffocated the way I had. I hoped so. At least he would get whatever help he needed to sort out his screwed-up head. At first I was pissed off that he wasn’t going to stand trial—because he’s not mentally stable to stand trial, no shock there—but as long as he was locked away and couldn’t hurt anyone else, I could accept it.
***
Lewis squeezed my hand as we drove past the park toward Ethan’s. My stomach tightened as I glanced over to where Clover had kidnapped me from. My blood ran cold as I remembered him calling me Lily for the first time and dragging me to his van. I squeezed my eyes closed. Don’t think about it.
“Are you sure about this?” Lewis asked and pulled the car into Ethan’s driveway.
“Yep. Let’s go.” I was sure, but I was also nervous about seeing everyone again. Henry followed behind with Becca. He kept close to her and she seemed to be happy.
Kerri sprinted out of the house and ripped open my door. “Summer!” she gasped and yanked me toward her. I smiled and hugged her back as I was pulled into one of her tight, lung-crushing bear hugs. I had really missed those bone-crushing Kerri cuddles.
“Hi,” I said, gasping for breath.
She pushed me away at arm’s length and grinned. “I’m so glad you came. I wasn’t sure if you were going to.” Kerri and I had spoken twice since I got back, but we’d texted almost every day.
“I wasn’t sure until a few hours ago. Is Rachel here?”
“Yeah, she’s inside. You’re not mad at her, are you?”
“No. You know I’m not.” Why couldn’t people believe that I really wasn’t angry with anyone but Clover? No one had a crystal ball and saw what was coming. “Let’s go in. It’s freezing.”
I walked in the house after Kerri. Lewis trailed behind me as usual. I held my breath as Ethan, Beth, Rachel, and Jack looked up at me. “Hi,” I muttered nervously.
Ethan held a bottle of Malibu up. “Thirsty?” And just like that, I had my friends back.
***
“Think we can talk?” I asked Rachel. We had been sitting in the living room drinking and eating junk for half an hour, and I really wanted to sort things out with Rach. She had been quiet, rarely making eye contact with me.
“Okay,” she replied. “Kitchen?”
We walked next to each other awkwardly. I bit my lip and sat down at the breakfast bar. “Summer, I am so sorry—”
I held my hand up. “Rachel, stop. I don’t want you to apologize.” I didn’t want anyone to. “It wasn’t your fault, so please, please don’t say you’re sorry. I just want us be okay.” God, I felt like a parrot, repeating the same thing over and over.